Jul 6, 2011
Relocation
To my dear followers (if there are still any of you out there after my period of silence ; ) ....I have relocated my blog to Wordpress. Blogger has been having too many issue for me to deal with! If you are still interested in following, you can visit http://www.chelseamarie.wordpress.com/ and subscribe by email or put me on your blog roll. Thank you for reading my ramblings these past few years. I hope to entertain - at least myself- with many more in the coming months. If I don't see you around the blogosphere anymore, happy blogging : )
May 23, 2011
Awesome Wallpaper : )
The graphic designer in me had to share....love this wallpaper!
Click on the picture to enlarge and download if you like.
May 3, 2011
Lessons from Leg Lifts
Leg lifts. 15 minutes. Stop when the machine goes off.
It takes a little work to make a muscle stronger. My knee was injured from running, and I've been going to physical therapy for a few weeks now. At the end of each session, I get hooked up to a machine that sends electric shock to my muscles to make them contract (it's not as bad as it sounds- trust me). Each time the pulse begins to contract my muscle, I have to lift and hold my leg for 5 seconds. 15 minutes.
"If you get tired, you can just flex your muscle and then rest, instead of lifting it up and down." Easy way out.
Well, I get there -- tired.
So, naturally, I stop lifting my leg. And about 30 seconds later, the buzzer rings and the shock stops and I sigh.
I could have kept going if I would have known it was only 30 seconds longer.
How many times have I taken that easy way out? I get a little tired, so I don't try as hard.
Isn't that what faith is for? Pushing through when it hurts, embracing the hurt, knowing it will make us stronger. Not knowing when a trial is over, and not asking, but just taking it for what it is- learning and growing in the process. It may be painful in the process, and it may be exhausting, but the muscle is strengthening. It may seem as if it will never end, but God is saying, "Just a few more lifts....come on, you can do it."
The school year's coming to an end. Classes are almost over. Time to move. New schedule. Different crowds. But I can't just quit at the end, as to-do lists get longer and days get shorter and I grow weary. I have to finish, and the Lord would have me finish well.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." 2 Timothy 4:7-8
It takes a little work to make a muscle stronger. My knee was injured from running, and I've been going to physical therapy for a few weeks now. At the end of each session, I get hooked up to a machine that sends electric shock to my muscles to make them contract (it's not as bad as it sounds- trust me). Each time the pulse begins to contract my muscle, I have to lift and hold my leg for 5 seconds. 15 minutes.
"If you get tired, you can just flex your muscle and then rest, instead of lifting it up and down." Easy way out.
Well, I get there -- tired.
So, naturally, I stop lifting my leg. And about 30 seconds later, the buzzer rings and the shock stops and I sigh.
I could have kept going if I would have known it was only 30 seconds longer.
How many times have I taken that easy way out? I get a little tired, so I don't try as hard.
Isn't that what faith is for? Pushing through when it hurts, embracing the hurt, knowing it will make us stronger. Not knowing when a trial is over, and not asking, but just taking it for what it is- learning and growing in the process. It may be painful in the process, and it may be exhausting, but the muscle is strengthening. It may seem as if it will never end, but God is saying, "Just a few more lifts....come on, you can do it."
The school year's coming to an end. Classes are almost over. Time to move. New schedule. Different crowds. But I can't just quit at the end, as to-do lists get longer and days get shorter and I grow weary. I have to finish, and the Lord would have me finish well.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." 2 Timothy 4:7-8
May 1, 2011
Decisions, Decisions.
My Mom mentioned to me a few weeks ago..."it doesn't matter what decision you make if the options are both good- just make a decision!" Now, this statement can be taken out of context and applied in all sorts of wrong ways, but I think you'll catch my drift.
My problem isn't that I act impulsively or irrationally. It's that I don't act at all. Once she pointed that out, I realized that it is one of the major stressors in my day-to-day life. I face a problem, evaluate the options, and leave the decision for later because choosing just seems too hard. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I contantly review my pro and con lists, never reaching a conclusion.
It's because I'm afraid to fail. I will do anything it takes to do it right. I don't want to mess up. Let's be honest. Does anyone? But, I've come to realize these past few weeks, what's worse...moving and messing up, or not moving at all? Doesn't the risk attached to the step of faith pay off in the end?
Roll with me here. I step out on faith and mess up. God redeems it and teaches me in the process, if I'm truly seeking His will. Or, I stay where I am and stress out. Nothing gets accomplished, and I'm an emotional wreck.
I can remember even as a kid, the indecision I faced with something as simple as ordering at a restaurant. When I couldn't make up my mind, I'd just give the server three options and tell her, "Surprise me!"
No one can make the daily decisions I face now. I can't just throw in the towel and say "Surprise me!" (Though God does like to do that sometimes!) The Lord has blessed me- yes, BLESSED me- with the ability to choose. Instead of seeing it as a burden, I am learning to see it as one more opportunity to lean on Him.
My problem isn't that I act impulsively or irrationally. It's that I don't act at all. Once she pointed that out, I realized that it is one of the major stressors in my day-to-day life. I face a problem, evaluate the options, and leave the decision for later because choosing just seems too hard. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I contantly review my pro and con lists, never reaching a conclusion.
It's because I'm afraid to fail. I will do anything it takes to do it right. I don't want to mess up. Let's be honest. Does anyone? But, I've come to realize these past few weeks, what's worse...moving and messing up, or not moving at all? Doesn't the risk attached to the step of faith pay off in the end?
Roll with me here. I step out on faith and mess up. God redeems it and teaches me in the process, if I'm truly seeking His will. Or, I stay where I am and stress out. Nothing gets accomplished, and I'm an emotional wreck.
I can remember even as a kid, the indecision I faced with something as simple as ordering at a restaurant. When I couldn't make up my mind, I'd just give the server three options and tell her, "Surprise me!"
No one can make the daily decisions I face now. I can't just throw in the towel and say "Surprise me!" (Though God does like to do that sometimes!) The Lord has blessed me- yes, BLESSED me- with the ability to choose. Instead of seeing it as a burden, I am learning to see it as one more opportunity to lean on Him.
*******
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Apr 26, 2011
Just Go with It
Do you ever have one of those days where it's so terrible, you just have to laugh? That would be today : ) Seriously- you just have to look around sometimes and think...I know You're up to something, God! And, I am so very thankful for laughter- for that joyful release, the inner bubbling fountain that comes from the depths of a soul that is still clinging to hope in Christ. Because He's still in control, no matter how ridiculous it looks right now.
"...and she laughs without fear of the future" (Proverbs 31:25)
"...and she laughs without fear of the future" (Proverbs 31:25)
Apr 7, 2011
Like a Restless Child
God's been teaching me a lot about waiting. Like a restless child, I often refuse, not knowing what my Father has in store. I feel decisions need to be rushed, projects completed, deadlines met.
Wait.
For a sweet word from His lips.
Wait.
For a lamp unto my feet.
Wait.
For a light unto my path.
Wait.
In stillness.
Wait.
Not moving, but allowing Him to move.
Not seeing, but allowing Him to guide.
Not knowing, but resting in His wisdom.
Wait.
And trust.
Because a child knows her daddy's voice.
And when He's ready for her to move,
She'll know.
But for now, I wait.
I serve the Author of time. He is not bound by the constraints I daily see. One of my friends introduced me to this video the other night. I couldn't stop thinking about it once she showed it to me, mostly because I've been so hammered with theme of "wait" and "rest" lately. Though Janette's poem is about relationships, I think the heart of the poem is about submission to Christ in every aspect of life, trusting that His plan is the best. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I want the guy she describes, and I want to be the woman she details.
P.S. The best part of the video (in my humble opinion) starts around 5:30 : )
Apr 1, 2011
This way, Chels.
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana chuckling. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do.
The more I listen to myself and follow my own advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My inadequacy overtakes me, and I want to throw in the towel.
Daniel felt the same way, but he didn’t wallow in his insufficiency.
In Daniel 10, he sees a glorious vision—Jesus Christ Himself. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6)
You probably didn’t catch that the first time. Read it again. Seriously.
Can you imagine? A body like beryl. A brilliance of light illuminating His face. Eyes set aflame, and limbs that glow. A voice resounding as if a multitude. And Daniel was the only one there.
I don’t know about you, but I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God— God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in reality, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I could really wrap my mind around Him each day, I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Coming into personal contact with the strength of the Lord sheds light on your own insufficiency.
I think I'm giving? He gave His life. I think I'm loving? He washed His betrayer's feet. I think I'm patient? He longsuffered for 33 years on this perverse and fallen earth. I think I'm reaching out? He lived to seek and save the lost.
I don't measure up. Period. What I perceive as strength comes to nothing because of who He is. Not an ounce of me is good. "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25)
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We often think God is proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words.
"O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you? What does He call me? O Chelsea, restless child? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes? I think it has a lot to do with our position before His throne.
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting for us to make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but are our hearts, the core of our beings, determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly to His kids.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief. He saw what was to come and felt overwhelmed, but God didn’t leave him there. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me and strengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him will do. I mark my own path, determined to stay the course. I realize His path is best. I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit birthed out of humility.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
Mar 2, 2011
Beyond Feeling
Small group on Monday was so off. I felt like the Lord left our group high and dry- I could see it in the dreary faces of the girls and hear it in the silent emptiness that pervaded the room. It's never like that. It broke my heart to hear one of the girls say..."Normally when I walk in here, I feel this sense of peace flood over me, but today I don't feel that." God- did I do something wrong? Search my heart. That was the cry of my sister, Sarah, and I after everyone left the short study. Was the emptiness because of any sin within us?
God is so, so faithful. Yesterday morning in my devotional (I'm going through Judges now), I read chapter 6, and He opened my eyes to spiritual truth. Here's a quick rundown...
The book of Judges is a cyclical book. The Israelites experience freedom from bondage, use their freedom to sin against God, regret their sin, cry out to God, and He delivers them...then they begin the cycle again by sinning against God. I cannot count on my hand how many times this has already happened in the book so far, but more practically, in my life. Yet, they, and I, still turn to God every time because we know He's the only One that can fix it.
After their rebellion this time, God sends an Angel to visit Gideon while he is gathering food. He says to Gideon, "The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor!" (v. 12) God calls Gideon mighty. Yet, Gideon misses it completely and goes on to say, "O my lord [notice the lowercase], if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?" (v. 13).
It's funny how we have a tendency to blame our circumstances on God when our poor decisions are the reason we got there in the first place. The Israelites were handed over to the Midianites because they "did evil in the sight of the Lord" (v. 1), probably worshipping false gods in the land (v. 10). God lays out the best path, but He also gives us free will to choose. We can't blame God for our poor decisions- we must pray that He will grant us grace and help us organize victory out of our mistakes.
Then God says to Gideon, "Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel form the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?" (v. 14). God still calls Gideon mighty, despite his whiney attitude and unbelief. In fact, He still chooses to use him regardless of his feebleness. Gideon said it himself- "O my, Lord [notice the capital letter], my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house" (v. 15).
Don't miss this. God isn't looking at your mistakes and pointing a finger. He's looking at the mess you're in and offering a hand to help you out. It is not God's will that anyone live a life that is less than the best He offers. He's a good Dad, and He believes in His kids- not because of who we are, but because of whose we are. He can truly "work all things together for the good of those who love God, those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Gideon leaves to prepare an offering for the Lord, begging the Angel not to depart. The Angel commanded Gideon to lay His offering on the rock, drenched in broth, and then it was consumed by fire. Finally, Gideon was able to proclaim, "Alas, O Lord GOD! For I have seen the Angel of the Lord face to face" (v. 22). Gideon admitted his unbelief- there was still doubt within him that the Angel was truly of the Lord. God did a miracle to prove Himself, and Gideon believed.
First "lord," then "Lord," then "Lord GOD!" Yet, God never changed. He was the constant. Gideon's feelings and attitude didn't determine the character or presence of God. He was there from the beginning, but Gideon's perspective had to change. I am oh so grateful that God is who He says He is, regardless of how I feel. He's with me forever and always.
"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1).
God is so, so faithful. Yesterday morning in my devotional (I'm going through Judges now), I read chapter 6, and He opened my eyes to spiritual truth. Here's a quick rundown...
The book of Judges is a cyclical book. The Israelites experience freedom from bondage, use their freedom to sin against God, regret their sin, cry out to God, and He delivers them...then they begin the cycle again by sinning against God. I cannot count on my hand how many times this has already happened in the book so far, but more practically, in my life. Yet, they, and I, still turn to God every time because we know He's the only One that can fix it.
After their rebellion this time, God sends an Angel to visit Gideon while he is gathering food. He says to Gideon, "The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor!" (v. 12) God calls Gideon mighty. Yet, Gideon misses it completely and goes on to say, "O my lord [notice the lowercase], if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?" (v. 13).
It's funny how we have a tendency to blame our circumstances on God when our poor decisions are the reason we got there in the first place. The Israelites were handed over to the Midianites because they "did evil in the sight of the Lord" (v. 1), probably worshipping false gods in the land (v. 10). God lays out the best path, but He also gives us free will to choose. We can't blame God for our poor decisions- we must pray that He will grant us grace and help us organize victory out of our mistakes.
Then God says to Gideon, "Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel form the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?" (v. 14). God still calls Gideon mighty, despite his whiney attitude and unbelief. In fact, He still chooses to use him regardless of his feebleness. Gideon said it himself- "O my, Lord [notice the capital letter], my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house" (v. 15).
Don't miss this. God isn't looking at your mistakes and pointing a finger. He's looking at the mess you're in and offering a hand to help you out. It is not God's will that anyone live a life that is less than the best He offers. He's a good Dad, and He believes in His kids- not because of who we are, but because of whose we are. He can truly "work all things together for the good of those who love God, those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Gideon leaves to prepare an offering for the Lord, begging the Angel not to depart. The Angel commanded Gideon to lay His offering on the rock, drenched in broth, and then it was consumed by fire. Finally, Gideon was able to proclaim, "Alas, O Lord GOD! For I have seen the Angel of the Lord face to face" (v. 22). Gideon admitted his unbelief- there was still doubt within him that the Angel was truly of the Lord. God did a miracle to prove Himself, and Gideon believed.
First "lord," then "Lord," then "Lord GOD!" Yet, God never changed. He was the constant. Gideon's feelings and attitude didn't determine the character or presence of God. He was there from the beginning, but Gideon's perspective had to change. I am oh so grateful that God is who He says He is, regardless of how I feel. He's with me forever and always.
"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1).
Feb 18, 2011
It's too loud around here.
Now, don't get me wrong- it's not bad to seek godly counsel. That's Biblical. What's bad is when I seek godly counsel before I seek God. Or, if I seek God and hear Him saying one thing while the rest of the world is screaming another. Funny how the world tends to drown out that gentle and quiet whisper.
The truth is, we know the truth. Deep down, we have the Holy Spirit who is burning to guide and counsel us. But, we allow our own thoughts and the thoughts of others to drown out the quiet counsel of our souls. And, then we complain that we can't hear God.
Maybe it's just me. Or maybe you're in the same boat. But, what would happen if we didn't open our mouths to others until we got a clear perspective from God? I think- and this is just my humble opinion- we would save ourselves a lot of confusion and a lot of time. How much easier is it to listen to the an omniscient God than a few of your friends whose thoughts are not nearly as high as His?
I'm reading Elisabeth Elliot's book, Passion and Purity, and it has been convicting on a number of levels. Just when I think I have "been crucified with Christ," I find myself running back to old habits and dependencies.
Everything we experience must first be given to God. A praise? To God. A trial? To God. A worry? To God. A fear? To God. Not to anyone else but Him first. Why do I get this so mixed up?
"Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all...but the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over with God." Elisabeth Elliot
Jan 29, 2011
Lean on Me
“We’re like two big human crutches. There ya go- just keep walking.”
“So, you said she had hip surgery?”
“Yeah. She had hip replacement surgery. Thanks so much for helping. You’re a God-send.”
I saw Brittany when I was pulling into the dorm parking lot. Her friend was trying to stand her up, but she just kept falling over. Her crutches were lying on the ground.
I got out of my car, grabbed my stuff, contemplated what I should do, and heard her friend say, “Hey! Can you help us?”
“Sure, let me put my stuff down. Does she have a key?”
“Yeah, she lives here.”
The stench of her breath alone was enough to tell the story. “I just wanted to be social,” she said.
“Be quiet. And just keep walking,” her friend said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny how God works, isn’t it? He knew I would be pulling in the parking lot at that exact time to see those two girls try to maneuver their way into the dorms- one sober, one wasted.
Brittany’s arm wrapped tightly around my neck. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be social.”
Brittany wasn’t the only one like that tonight. No- there were others, countless others- who stumbled in parking lots and slurred their words until they could no longer speak. They spent time over toilets and sending texts to strangers. They found five minutes of satisfaction followed by a night of misery. They discovered false happiness when all they were searching for was true joy.
And it breaks my heart.
Brittany’s sentence sums it up perfectly. “I just wanted to be social.”
How many more Brittany’s are there? How many more people just want to interact with others and feel something- anything- that makes them feel?
And, I know Brittany will wake up tomorrow with a major headache and a list of regrets. I’ll pass her on campus in a few days, and she’ll have no idea who I am.
Yet, I feel that I know the deepest part of her- the part that’s screaming for an escape, the part of everyone that says, “There’s gotta be something more.”
Being a crutch is hard because your job is to support, not correct. Therapy and doctors correct the damaged hip. The crutches just aid in the process.
My words wouldn’t heal a drunken girl’s heart. My thoughts wouldn’t even make sense. I have to trust the Doctor- that through “prayer and the supply of the spirit of Jesus Christ,” (Phil. 1:19) Brittany will be delivered.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Eph. 6:12-13
“So, you said she had hip surgery?”
“Yeah. She had hip replacement surgery. Thanks so much for helping. You’re a God-send.”
I saw Brittany when I was pulling into the dorm parking lot. Her friend was trying to stand her up, but she just kept falling over. Her crutches were lying on the ground.
I got out of my car, grabbed my stuff, contemplated what I should do, and heard her friend say, “Hey! Can you help us?”
“Sure, let me put my stuff down. Does she have a key?”
“Yeah, she lives here.”
The stench of her breath alone was enough to tell the story. “I just wanted to be social,” she said.
“Be quiet. And just keep walking,” her friend said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny how God works, isn’t it? He knew I would be pulling in the parking lot at that exact time to see those two girls try to maneuver their way into the dorms- one sober, one wasted.
Brittany’s arm wrapped tightly around my neck. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be social.”
Brittany wasn’t the only one like that tonight. No- there were others, countless others- who stumbled in parking lots and slurred their words until they could no longer speak. They spent time over toilets and sending texts to strangers. They found five minutes of satisfaction followed by a night of misery. They discovered false happiness when all they were searching for was true joy.
And it breaks my heart.
Brittany’s sentence sums it up perfectly. “I just wanted to be social.”
How many more Brittany’s are there? How many more people just want to interact with others and feel something- anything- that makes them feel?
And, I know Brittany will wake up tomorrow with a major headache and a list of regrets. I’ll pass her on campus in a few days, and she’ll have no idea who I am.
Yet, I feel that I know the deepest part of her- the part that’s screaming for an escape, the part of everyone that says, “There’s gotta be something more.”
Being a crutch is hard because your job is to support, not correct. Therapy and doctors correct the damaged hip. The crutches just aid in the process.
My words wouldn’t heal a drunken girl’s heart. My thoughts wouldn’t even make sense. I have to trust the Doctor- that through “prayer and the supply of the spirit of Jesus Christ,” (Phil. 1:19) Brittany will be delivered.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Eph. 6:12-13
Jan 17, 2011
I May Be Weak
The first time I heard this song was at a Christmas concert. I couldn’t get the bridge out of my head…
“I may be weak,
But Your Spirit’s strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
My God, You never will.”
I felt like I could sing that for days and not get tired of it. I still feel like that. Music always brings me to a thinking place. I love that about a good song. The lyrics can be as simple as day, but it makes me stop and ponder what I’m really singing (or attempting to sing, in my case ; ).
If there is anything I’ve realized these past few months, it is the fact that I am so, so weak. I get tired if I have too much to do. My body feels exhausted after a week full speed. If I don’t eat, I get lightheaded. If I don’t sleep, I can’t function. The limitations are…well, limitless. A thousand times over, I could explain my weakness as a human being, but that does you no good.
Sure, you can identify with feeling weak (well, you guys may have a harder time…just kidding!). But, why is it important that you understand? Only when we recognize our frailty can we submit to God for true strength.
To ask God for strength when you believe you can do life on your own is pointless. That’s like a millionaire asking for money. We ask for strength because we know that without Him, we’re bankrupt. Empty. Zero.
So, in my weakness, He is Strength.
And in my failure, He is Victorious.
Isn’t that a crazy thought? I mean, I can fail time and time and time again- even at the same thing- but God NEVER fails. EVER. EVER! Do you hear what I’m saying, people?! We commune with an incredible God, who fights our battles for us. But just like acknowledging we need His strength, we must be willing to give up the battles. We can’t go in with our own plan, explaining to God the tactics that will work best.
You might be laughing, but isn’t it true? How many times do we find ourselves rationalizing what we are doing and explaining to God why our way is better? And each time we do, we fail. Because we serve a God that conquers, because He’s wise. He knows that only by His victory will we ever be satisfied.
It’s almost like we’re fighting against our own team. Imagine a football team that scores a touchdown for the other team. Or, men in war killing their own men. That doesn’t make sense. Can I remind you of something? GOD IS FOR US. He’s the only One there for us 100% of the time with more love and power than we can imagine. So, why- and maybe it’s just me- why, do we squirm and fight against what He’s trying to produce in and through us sometimes?
I know, I know. Pruning is painful. The things He asks us to sacrifice are the things we love. And if they aren’t, they wouldn’t be a sacrifice would they?
Oh, but we miss the second part of the story. We focus so much on what God is calling us to do/say/be/give/give up that we forget the blessing that stems from obedience to His gentle voice.
“I need You to soften my heart,
And break me apart,
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You’re shaping my life.
All I am, I surrender.
Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You’re good, and Your love is great,
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.”
(Give Me Faith, Elevation Worship)
What an incredible weekend this has been. Not because I did anything super special, but because it was soaked with the presence of God.
There’s nothing and no one like Him.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
“I may be weak,
But Your Spirit’s strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
My God, You never will.”
I felt like I could sing that for days and not get tired of it. I still feel like that. Music always brings me to a thinking place. I love that about a good song. The lyrics can be as simple as day, but it makes me stop and ponder what I’m really singing (or attempting to sing, in my case ; ).
If there is anything I’ve realized these past few months, it is the fact that I am so, so weak. I get tired if I have too much to do. My body feels exhausted after a week full speed. If I don’t eat, I get lightheaded. If I don’t sleep, I can’t function. The limitations are…well, limitless. A thousand times over, I could explain my weakness as a human being, but that does you no good.
Sure, you can identify with feeling weak (well, you guys may have a harder time…just kidding!). But, why is it important that you understand? Only when we recognize our frailty can we submit to God for true strength.
To ask God for strength when you believe you can do life on your own is pointless. That’s like a millionaire asking for money. We ask for strength because we know that without Him, we’re bankrupt. Empty. Zero.
So, in my weakness, He is Strength.
And in my failure, He is Victorious.
Isn’t that a crazy thought? I mean, I can fail time and time and time again- even at the same thing- but God NEVER fails. EVER. EVER! Do you hear what I’m saying, people?! We commune with an incredible God, who fights our battles for us. But just like acknowledging we need His strength, we must be willing to give up the battles. We can’t go in with our own plan, explaining to God the tactics that will work best.
You might be laughing, but isn’t it true? How many times do we find ourselves rationalizing what we are doing and explaining to God why our way is better? And each time we do, we fail. Because we serve a God that conquers, because He’s wise. He knows that only by His victory will we ever be satisfied.
It’s almost like we’re fighting against our own team. Imagine a football team that scores a touchdown for the other team. Or, men in war killing their own men. That doesn’t make sense. Can I remind you of something? GOD IS FOR US. He’s the only One there for us 100% of the time with more love and power than we can imagine. So, why- and maybe it’s just me- why, do we squirm and fight against what He’s trying to produce in and through us sometimes?
I know, I know. Pruning is painful. The things He asks us to sacrifice are the things we love. And if they aren’t, they wouldn’t be a sacrifice would they?
Oh, but we miss the second part of the story. We focus so much on what God is calling us to do/say/be/give/give up that we forget the blessing that stems from obedience to His gentle voice.
“I need You to soften my heart,
And break me apart,
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You’re shaping my life.
All I am, I surrender.
Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You’re good, and Your love is great,
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.”
(Give Me Faith, Elevation Worship)
What an incredible weekend this has been. Not because I did anything super special, but because it was soaked with the presence of God.
There’s nothing and no one like Him.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
Dec 6, 2010
Nov 12, 2010
My friend Edson
His name is Edson.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
This way, Chels
I was walking with my friend Diana to her car a few weeks ago. We were at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. Needless to say, there are like 50 parking lots and 5,599,302 parking spaces (okay, so the fish isn't quite that big ; ). I didn't drive with her, so I had no clue where she was parked. I was walking like I knew where her car was, and she was just cracking up. I'd start talking with her and then make a turn or a slight veer to the right. She kept saying, "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels." It was quite amusing, and I'm still trying to figure out why it was I thought I knew my way.
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Seeing God's strength makes me realize my own insignificance. Look into the eyes of your Savior and realize there is nothing- nothing inside yourself. I think I'm giving? He gave His life. I think I'm loving? He washed His betrayer's feet. I think I'm patient? He longsuffered for 33 years on this perverse and fallen earth. I think I'm reaching out? He lived to seek and save the lost. I don't measure up. Period. End of sentence. What I perceive as strength comes to nothing because of who He is. Nothing in me is good. "O, wretched man that I am!"
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
Nov 5, 2010
Nuggets of Wisdom from "The Best Question Ever"
I just finished reading Andy Stanley's book The Best Question Ever. It is filled with incredible insight to decision making through one simple question. I know, I know...you want me to let you in on the secret, but it's worth the read, so I'm keeping my lips sealed : ) In the meantime, here are a few quotes from the book to whet your appetite:
Wise people know when they don't know. The fool is the person who convinces himself that he knows more than he really knows and doesn't need to ask anybody anything. At the end of the day, the wise man breathes a sigh of relief; the fool, a sigh of regret.
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
Oct 20, 2010
Swept Away
“And Jesus answered, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10:41-42).
One thing. That’s all it is. Plop me in the desert. Ship me to Japan. Fly me to Broadway. All I need is the one thing. All I need is Jesus.
To sit at his feet captivated by the very words He speaks. To discover the inflections of His voice and the lessons from His life. To question and ponder and grow. To be broken and to be restored to wholeness again. To be dead and revived to life. To worship with a humble heart and a reverent posture. To hear, really hear the Lord.
“One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord,
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4)
Sep 29, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me
All I have to say is "Wow, God. You blow me away." This whole day I have been completely overwhelmed by the words of encouragement and simple birthday wishes and love that everyone has blessed me with. From 12 AM last night until late this evening, my phone's been ringing off the hook with phone calls, texts, and Facebook notifications.
Each year is just another reminder of how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many people I am fortunate to call my friends and family. That's the best birthday gift I could ever have, and I'm not being cliche about that.
God so happened to place a part of Psalm 139 (my favorite Psalm) in my devotion this morning. What a way to start off the day! He surely knew how that would tickle me... He does know our heart's desires, after all : )
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."
I think the word picture in verse 13 is breathtaking- "You covered me in my mother's womb." I just get this vision of Christ encircling me with His arms, holding me, just as a momma does when she rocks her newborn. Can you see Him examining the tiny fingers and toes? Can you hear Him whisper His sweet love? Can you picture the deep sigh He takes when He says, "This is good"?
And David says right after, "I will praise You."
You see, God delights in His creation. He loves me and He loves you, with a love that we will never understand. He loves to love, regardless of our devotion to Him. Crazy, I know. But, when we recognize that love, the response is immediate worship and adoration. When we get a grip of God's passion for us, we can't help but return the emotion. When I recognize that Christ covered me, even when I was in the process of being formed, I realize that there's nothing I can do to earn His love. I realize that, just as He's held me from the beginning, He will continue to hold me for the rest of my days. He's just that good. And I'm just that blessed. Happy birthday to me : )
Sep 28, 2010
The Mystery of Godliness
"The Christian life can only be explained in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it!
It is only when your quality of life baffles the neighbors that you are likely to impress them! It has got to become patently obvious to others that the kind of life you are living is not only commendable, but that it is beyond all human explanation! That it is beyond the consequences of man's capacity to imitate, and however little they may understand this, clearly the consequence only of God's capacity to reproduce Himself in you!
In a nutshell, this means that your fellow-men must become convinced that the Lord Jesus Christ of whom you speak, is essentially Himself the ingredient of the Life you live!"
Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness
It is only when your quality of life baffles the neighbors that you are likely to impress them! It has got to become patently obvious to others that the kind of life you are living is not only commendable, but that it is beyond all human explanation! That it is beyond the consequences of man's capacity to imitate, and however little they may understand this, clearly the consequence only of God's capacity to reproduce Himself in you!
In a nutshell, this means that your fellow-men must become convinced that the Lord Jesus Christ of whom you speak, is essentially Himself the ingredient of the Life you live!"
Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness
Never Enough
"For do I now persuade men or God, or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
I worry about attending this activity or that activity or saying no to one person and yes to another. I get caught up in trying to make time for everyone, trying to give everyone my all, trying to meet everyone's needs. Only One deserves my all. But, I'm so busy giving everyone else my all, that He only gets a portion, when He's supposed to get the whole pie and divvy it out Himself in the first place.
If you can't tell, I've been thinking a lot about priorities and how I spend my time, mainly because I can't seem to get enough of it (time) lately. It's caused me to reexamine what I'm really doing and who I'm spending time with.
God laid Mark 12:29-31 on my heart: Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these.”
First things first. Love God with everything I have in me. Second things next. Love others with the love of Christ.
Instead of considering what I do according to my own reasoning, I should be asking God what He wants me to do. God- do you think I should go to dinner with them? God- what do YOU want me to do this weekend? God- how do I waste time? God- can you teach me how to use my time wisely? Because "my time" isn't really "my time" in the first place, it's God's.
Sep 24, 2010
That Guy Named Jacob
So, in my devotions, I'm plugging through the book of Genesis. I must admit...I've never read the Old Testament in its entirety, and when God asked me to do that, I was half excited, half bored. Something about "conquering" the Old Testament seemed like quite a task. Trying to understand all the customs, and culture, and law, and contexts, and geography to get the true meaning in each story seemed a little overwhelming.
Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous. People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing. Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking. Do you ever do that?
Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently. I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.
Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man. In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20). Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help." Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.
Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength." Or what he thought was strength. True strength comes through submission. How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority? I think we can all take a stab at that answer. Of course it's harder to submit than to assert! Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).
Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength. Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God? I know God gets a kick out of it. It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human. It's impossible. That wee little ant will never overcome me. Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.
Jacob persisted- he didn't give up. But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him." He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26). It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle. God, bless me! Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it. We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!! In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring.
But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9). He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27). In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name. It's character. It's image. It's conduct. A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual. God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was. Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter." He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go. But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned. He offered hope.
"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament. "You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God." Simon became Cephas, "A Stone." A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal. Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"! That's quite a change in status. From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power.
When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17). I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible. Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him. He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions. Everything. I just wonder what He wants to call me. Right now, I'm Chelsea. I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea. But what will I be when I'm fully transformed? "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).
Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous. People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing. Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking. Do you ever do that?
Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently. I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.
Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man. In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20). Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help." Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.
Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength." Or what he thought was strength. True strength comes through submission. How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority? I think we can all take a stab at that answer. Of course it's harder to submit than to assert! Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).
Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength. Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God? I know God gets a kick out of it. It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human. It's impossible. That wee little ant will never overcome me. Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.
Jacob persisted- he didn't give up. But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him." He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26). It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle. God, bless me! Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it. We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!! In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring.
But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9). He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27). In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name. It's character. It's image. It's conduct. A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual. God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was. Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter." He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go. But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned. He offered hope. "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament. "You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God." Simon became Cephas, "A Stone." A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal. Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"! That's quite a change in status. From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power.
When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17). I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible. Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him. He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions. Everything. I just wonder what He wants to call me. Right now, I'm Chelsea. I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea. But what will I be when I'm fully transformed? "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)