Happy Birthday to Me

The countdown is on.  This time, it's not for my birthday to begin, but for it to come to an end.  This year I am 21.  That feels so weird to say.  I feel like a little girl trapped in a young woman's body, like I'm really supposed to be turning 12, not twenty-something.

All I have to say is "Wow, God.  You blow me away."  This whole day I have been completely overwhelmed by the words of encouragement and simple birthday wishes and love that everyone has blessed me with.  From 12 AM last night until late this evening, my phone's been ringing off the hook with phone calls, texts, and Facebook notifications.

Each year is just another reminder of how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many people I am fortunate to call my friends and family.  That's the best birthday gift I could ever have, and I'm not being cliche about that.

God so happened to place a part of Psalm 139 (my favorite Psalm) in my devotion this morning.  What a way to start off the day!  He surely knew how that would tickle me... He does know our heart's desires, after all : )

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them." 

Isn't that beautiful?  I love knowing that my Creator was a part of forming the intricate details of who I am.  Nothing about me is a mistake.  Not my height.  Not my width (haha ; ). Not my curly hair.  Or my flat feet.  He knew what I would be, before I even was.  And He loved me even then.  And He loves me even now. 

I think the word picture in verse 13 is breathtaking- "You covered me in my mother's womb."  I just get this vision of Christ encircling me with His arms, holding me, just as a momma does when she rocks her newborn.  Can you see Him examining the tiny fingers and toes?  Can you hear Him whisper His sweet love?  Can you picture the deep sigh He takes when He says, "This is good"? 

And David says right after, "I will praise You." 

You see, God delights in His creation.  He loves me and He loves you, with a love that we will never understand.  He loves to love, regardless of our devotion to Him.  Crazy, I know.  But, when we recognize that love, the response is immediate worship and adoration.  When we get a grip of God's passion for us, we can't help but return the emotion.  When I recognize that Christ covered me, even when I was in the process of being formed, I realize that there's nothing I can do to earn His love.  I realize that, just as He's held me from the beginning, He will continue to hold me for the rest of my days.  He's just that good.  And I'm just that blessed.  Happy birthday to me : )

The Big 2-0!

"So, do you feel any different?" That's the typical birthday question. And my typical birthday answer… "No, not really."

I didn't think turning 20 would be that big of a deal for me, but somehow it has struck a chord. It feels like I'm entering into an entire new chapter in my life. I'm no longer a teenager; and, while some would be happy about that fact, I'm wrestling with it. No longer a teenager??? Not cool. Lol.

On another note, it has given me time to reflect on my life so far. God has been so faithful to continually pursue me and remind me of His love, since I was just a little kid. I am constantly amazed when I look back and see His hand guiding and directing every step in my life, even if at the time, I thought I was the one in charge. Twenty years seems like a long time to me, but others I talk to say, "Just wait until 30, 40, 50, 60…you get my point." The past few years, it seems like time has flown, and I often forget to "stop and smell the roses" in the middle of a hectic time.

I guess what I have to say is that I'm happy. Everything's not perfect, don't get me wrong. I have a long way to go and there are still many things I want to do before I leave this earth. But, I am blessed with an amazing family, wonderful friends, and a life that I often take for granted. My birthday reminds me that each year offers room for improvement. It's a time for me to stop and appreciate the years, but also press on to seek after what God has in store for me….which will probably be another post soon.

Anyways, I thought it would be neat if you all left me a comment with some advice you have for me- about life, love, God, birthdays, faith - anything you feel is most important to know as a 20 year old embarking on this new decade. I would love to hear what you've got…it sure would make my birthday extra special : ).