Do you ever have one of those days where it's so terrible, you just have to laugh? That would be today : ) Seriously- you just have to look around sometimes and think...I know You're up to something, God! And, I am so very thankful for laughter- for that joyful release, the inner bubbling fountain that comes from the depths of a soul that is still clinging to hope in Christ. Because He's still in control, no matter how ridiculous it looks right now.
"...and she laughs without fear of the future" (Proverbs 31:25)
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Apr 26, 2011
Jan 29, 2011
Lean on Me
“We’re like two big human crutches. There ya go- just keep walking.”
“So, you said she had hip surgery?”
“Yeah. She had hip replacement surgery. Thanks so much for helping. You’re a God-send.”
I saw Brittany when I was pulling into the dorm parking lot. Her friend was trying to stand her up, but she just kept falling over. Her crutches were lying on the ground.
I got out of my car, grabbed my stuff, contemplated what I should do, and heard her friend say, “Hey! Can you help us?”
“Sure, let me put my stuff down. Does she have a key?”
“Yeah, she lives here.”
The stench of her breath alone was enough to tell the story. “I just wanted to be social,” she said.
“Be quiet. And just keep walking,” her friend said.
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Funny how God works, isn’t it? He knew I would be pulling in the parking lot at that exact time to see those two girls try to maneuver their way into the dorms- one sober, one wasted.
Brittany’s arm wrapped tightly around my neck. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be social.”
Brittany wasn’t the only one like that tonight. No- there were others, countless others- who stumbled in parking lots and slurred their words until they could no longer speak. They spent time over toilets and sending texts to strangers. They found five minutes of satisfaction followed by a night of misery. They discovered false happiness when all they were searching for was true joy.
And it breaks my heart.
Brittany’s sentence sums it up perfectly. “I just wanted to be social.”
How many more Brittany’s are there? How many more people just want to interact with others and feel something- anything- that makes them feel?
And, I know Brittany will wake up tomorrow with a major headache and a list of regrets. I’ll pass her on campus in a few days, and she’ll have no idea who I am.
Yet, I feel that I know the deepest part of her- the part that’s screaming for an escape, the part of everyone that says, “There’s gotta be something more.”
Being a crutch is hard because your job is to support, not correct. Therapy and doctors correct the damaged hip. The crutches just aid in the process.
My words wouldn’t heal a drunken girl’s heart. My thoughts wouldn’t even make sense. I have to trust the Doctor- that through “prayer and the supply of the spirit of Jesus Christ,” (Phil. 1:19) Brittany will be delivered.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Eph. 6:12-13
“So, you said she had hip surgery?”
“Yeah. She had hip replacement surgery. Thanks so much for helping. You’re a God-send.”
I saw Brittany when I was pulling into the dorm parking lot. Her friend was trying to stand her up, but she just kept falling over. Her crutches were lying on the ground.
I got out of my car, grabbed my stuff, contemplated what I should do, and heard her friend say, “Hey! Can you help us?”
“Sure, let me put my stuff down. Does she have a key?”
“Yeah, she lives here.”
The stench of her breath alone was enough to tell the story. “I just wanted to be social,” she said.
“Be quiet. And just keep walking,” her friend said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny how God works, isn’t it? He knew I would be pulling in the parking lot at that exact time to see those two girls try to maneuver their way into the dorms- one sober, one wasted.
Brittany’s arm wrapped tightly around my neck. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be social.”
Brittany wasn’t the only one like that tonight. No- there were others, countless others- who stumbled in parking lots and slurred their words until they could no longer speak. They spent time over toilets and sending texts to strangers. They found five minutes of satisfaction followed by a night of misery. They discovered false happiness when all they were searching for was true joy.
And it breaks my heart.
Brittany’s sentence sums it up perfectly. “I just wanted to be social.”
How many more Brittany’s are there? How many more people just want to interact with others and feel something- anything- that makes them feel?
And, I know Brittany will wake up tomorrow with a major headache and a list of regrets. I’ll pass her on campus in a few days, and she’ll have no idea who I am.
Yet, I feel that I know the deepest part of her- the part that’s screaming for an escape, the part of everyone that says, “There’s gotta be something more.”
Being a crutch is hard because your job is to support, not correct. Therapy and doctors correct the damaged hip. The crutches just aid in the process.
My words wouldn’t heal a drunken girl’s heart. My thoughts wouldn’t even make sense. I have to trust the Doctor- that through “prayer and the supply of the spirit of Jesus Christ,” (Phil. 1:19) Brittany will be delivered.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Eph. 6:12-13
Mar 3, 2010
You Never Let Go
I always do this. When I have exams, or a lot of schoolwork all at once, I get super stressed out. No fail. Every single time. And I hate it when I do that. Not only is it ridiculous because I've been through it before and have learned that God is more than capable of providing the motivation and strength to get through it, but I also feel like I'm setting a bad example. I think about how both Christians and non-Christians are looking at my life to see how I react to things. The very thing I'm "preaching" one day could make no sense the next when I don't live it out. I hate being hypocritical.
I say that Christ will provide and that He is enough, and that He gives ultimate peace. And I believe it- with all my heart, I do. I really do. But, when things get overwhelming, it's like I just throw that whole concept to the wind and think, "Poor me. How will I ever get through? This is next to impossible." Unbelievers who know me and know what I'm about have to be thinking...if she knows God, why is she so worried? If she knows God, why is she so impatient today? Ouch.
Well, right in the midst of my worries and right in the midst of my not-so-Christlike attitude, God decided that He would restore me with His words. As I've said before, Psalm 139 is one of my favorite Scripture passages, maybe my most favorite, though it's kind of hard to narrow that down- don't ya think? Anyway, I read through that Scripture with entirely new eyes. I don't know what it was, but it became fresh all over again.
Have you looked in the mirror lately? Have you really looked? No- not at your imperfections, but your "wonderfully complex" self. I was brushing my teeth after I read this passage, and I looked at my eyes and thought...wow, those are incredible. Okay- you probably think I'm a psycho right now, so I want you to a. Find a mirror and b. Check out your eyes. Seriously. Go do it. This blog isn't going anywhere : ) Really look at them and think about how they work. Think about the way they process information and how light reflects on them so you can see. I don't know the whole scientific aspect, but I do know that our eyes are just one breathtaking part of our "wonderfully complex" bodies that Christ gave us.
If it was up to me, we would all be 2-D stick figures walking around looking somewhat similar. How grateful I am that God took the time to think about what we would look like and how our bodies would function. Seriously- our brains. They are insane. They tell us to breathe without us even consciously thinking about it. Now that, I'm very grateful for : ).
So, I was reading this passage and thinking that not only did God take great care in "knitting me" together in my mother's womb, but He also did it for every other person that has ever lived. Each unique in their own way. God knit me and you and everyone in the world together!
I checked out the word "knit" in the dictionary...."to tie or link together; join closely and firmly; to form or create from diverse sources or elements; become closely and intimately united; bind, link, unite." I never thought of it this way before, but when God was knitting me together, was He also knitting my heart to His? Were we becoming "closely and intimately united" even in the moments of my creation? I love to think so. Don't you just eat up that visual?!
Then I read Isaiah 46:3-4, "Listen to me, descendents of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until you hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you."
Don't know if you got the memo- but God cared, cares, and will care for us. He carried and will carry us. Oh, and not to mention, He's busy saving us, too.
I am so thankful for a God who never lets go. I love that worship song "You Never Let Go." I let go of His promises at times when I need them the most. I let go of the words that I proclaimed the day before. I let go of my Christ-like attitude at times. But, I know that no matter how far I run or how bad I mess up, He never lets go. Never lets go of me. Tough times, easy times. Dark times, light times. Never lets go of the plans He made for me. He sees me and He holds me and He saves me.
Jan 29, 2010
Come, my wayward daughter.
The other night I opened my Bible to Jeremiah 29:11. I was praying about purpose and God’s will and getting back on track, so I thought that was the perfect place to turn. I read the verse and just kept reading through the book, discovering little nuggets of encouragement.
My absolute favorite discovery of the night was Jeremiah 31:18-22.
NLT:
18 I have heard Israel saying,
‘You disciplined me severely,
like a calf that needs training for the yoke.
Turn me again to you and restore me,
for you alone are the LORD my God.
19 I turned away from God,
but then I was sorry.
I kicked myself for my stupidity!
I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.’
20 “Is not Israel still my son,
my darling child?” says the LORD.
“I often have to punish him,
but I still love him.
That’s why I long for him
and surely will have mercy on him.
21 Set up road signs;
put up guideposts.
Mark well the path
by which you came.
Come back again, my virgin Israel;
return to your towns here.
22 How long will you wander,
my wayward daughter?
For the LORD will cause something new to happen—
Israel will embrace her God.[b]”
My heart couldn’t contain my joy. It described perfectly my recent journey back to my Father’s heart. I had turned from God and was discouraged when I saw how far I’d departed. I asked for restoration and reminded myself that He should be my only God.
And then God…and then God shows up in a big way and reminds me that He still loves me. He still longs for me. He will have mercy on me. He asks me to “come back” and return to what I know is the only way. I love how He says, “Come back, my virgin Israel.” I think virgin was there on purpose. Israel had been wondering and pursuing other gods, yet He still identifies the nation as “virgin,” or pure. How awesome that God sees us like that even when we’ve totally screwed up.
But this has got to be the best part, “How long will you wander, my wayward daughter? I will cause something new to happen- Israel will embrace her God.”
OH MY GOODNESS! I don’t know why this verse has spoken to me so much. I guess it’s cause I just got stuck in a rut and I felt like the same things were happening over and over and no matter how hard I tried I just kept going the wrong direction. YET, God offers promise for my future, well promise for my now. “I will cause something new to happen- [Chelsea] will embrace her God.”
I think the thing is that HE will cause something new to happen. I can’t force something to happen that God doesn’t will. I’ve been trying to do it on my own, and you just can’t have a relationship with someone when it’s one-sided.
“[Chelsea] will embrace her God.” I felt a little bold replacing Israel with my own name, but God was speaking right at me, saying, “Yeah, you messed up. You left me for other gods. You abandoned the very faith that used to be your stronghold. But, there is hope, Chelsea. There is hope, my daughter. Things are going to start happening. I’m gonna change your heart. And soon enough, you’re gonna embrace me instead of run from me.”
And ever since that night a few days ago, I’ve struggled, as everyone does with keeping God first, above everything else. And every time I hear that voice in my head when I contemplate and wonder why I would even bother trying so hard… “Come, my wayward daughter. It’s time, time to embrace your God.”
Isn’t He the best?
My absolute favorite discovery of the night was Jeremiah 31:18-22.
NLT:
18 I have heard Israel saying,
‘You disciplined me severely,
like a calf that needs training for the yoke.
Turn me again to you and restore me,
for you alone are the LORD my God.
19 I turned away from God,
but then I was sorry.
I kicked myself for my stupidity!
I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.’
20 “Is not Israel still my son,
my darling child?” says the LORD.
“I often have to punish him,
but I still love him.
That’s why I long for him
and surely will have mercy on him.
21 Set up road signs;
put up guideposts.
Mark well the path
by which you came.
Come back again, my virgin Israel;
return to your towns here.
22 How long will you wander,
my wayward daughter?
For the LORD will cause something new to happen—
Israel will embrace her God.[b]”
My heart couldn’t contain my joy. It described perfectly my recent journey back to my Father’s heart. I had turned from God and was discouraged when I saw how far I’d departed. I asked for restoration and reminded myself that He should be my only God.
And then God…and then God shows up in a big way and reminds me that He still loves me. He still longs for me. He will have mercy on me. He asks me to “come back” and return to what I know is the only way. I love how He says, “Come back, my virgin Israel.” I think virgin was there on purpose. Israel had been wondering and pursuing other gods, yet He still identifies the nation as “virgin,” or pure. How awesome that God sees us like that even when we’ve totally screwed up.
But this has got to be the best part, “How long will you wander, my wayward daughter? I will cause something new to happen- Israel will embrace her God.”
OH MY GOODNESS! I don’t know why this verse has spoken to me so much. I guess it’s cause I just got stuck in a rut and I felt like the same things were happening over and over and no matter how hard I tried I just kept going the wrong direction. YET, God offers promise for my future, well promise for my now. “I will cause something new to happen- [Chelsea] will embrace her God.”
I think the thing is that HE will cause something new to happen. I can’t force something to happen that God doesn’t will. I’ve been trying to do it on my own, and you just can’t have a relationship with someone when it’s one-sided.
“[Chelsea] will embrace her God.” I felt a little bold replacing Israel with my own name, but God was speaking right at me, saying, “Yeah, you messed up. You left me for other gods. You abandoned the very faith that used to be your stronghold. But, there is hope, Chelsea. There is hope, my daughter. Things are going to start happening. I’m gonna change your heart. And soon enough, you’re gonna embrace me instead of run from me.”
And ever since that night a few days ago, I’ve struggled, as everyone does with keeping God first, above everything else. And every time I hear that voice in my head when I contemplate and wonder why I would even bother trying so hard… “Come, my wayward daughter. It’s time, time to embrace your God.”
Isn’t He the best?
Jan 24, 2010
I used to think the sun was evil...
A lot of things have been happening lately. Besides the start of the new semester and adjusting to a schedule change, I’ve also come out of the dark so to speak.
I’m gonna go off on a tangent (I know what you’re thinking- already? lol), but it will all make sense in the end, so bear with me. Hopefully you’ve seen the movie Benchwarmers because you will understand where I’m coming from with this. An awkward yet hilarious character by the name of Howie is depicted throughout the entire movie as being 1.) afraid of the sun (natural light) and 2.) afraid of most people.
Now, I can relate to the first one, but not so much the second. These past few months I’ve been afraid of the Light. It was like I enjoyed not caring about my relationship with Christ, even though I knew that’s what was making me miserable. I searched, yet I rejected truth that I found. I read, but felt no need to take heart or apply what I was reading. It was a constant battle. I knew what I should be doing, but for some reason, I didn’t want to do it. I was happy being unhappy, which was REALLY weird for me, because I’m not normally like that…I’m sure most of you know that.
Anyway, I was afraid to go back to the Light. I guess I was more ashamed or embarrassed that if I did, He wouldn’t want me. It was like if I did run to Him, I would be “giving up” or “giving in” because I wasn’t strong enough on my own.
Gradually, as I began to realize that I obviously couldn’t live this life on my own, I began seeking His face once again in little ways. Maybe a Christian book here. A prayer there. Some scripture if I felt like it. Nothing hard core, to say the least. And, I’m still not back to where I want to be, where I used to be. You know that old saying, “If you’re not moving forward, you’re sliding backwards.”? I figured (in this period of darkness) that if I wasn’t moving forward, I would just stay in my place. WRONG.
Praise God for mercy and grace, for everlasting love that sees past my stupidity and embraces my potential. I am forever indebted to my wonderful Savior who took my life and once again reminded me of redemption, a gift so sweet that each time it really sinks in, I can hardly believe it myself.
In Howie’s words, “I used to think the sun was evil, but now I know it’s not.” : )
I’m gonna go off on a tangent (I know what you’re thinking- already? lol), but it will all make sense in the end, so bear with me. Hopefully you’ve seen the movie Benchwarmers because you will understand where I’m coming from with this. An awkward yet hilarious character by the name of Howie is depicted throughout the entire movie as being 1.) afraid of the sun (natural light) and 2.) afraid of most people.
Now, I can relate to the first one, but not so much the second. These past few months I’ve been afraid of the Light. It was like I enjoyed not caring about my relationship with Christ, even though I knew that’s what was making me miserable. I searched, yet I rejected truth that I found. I read, but felt no need to take heart or apply what I was reading. It was a constant battle. I knew what I should be doing, but for some reason, I didn’t want to do it. I was happy being unhappy, which was REALLY weird for me, because I’m not normally like that…I’m sure most of you know that.
Anyway, I was afraid to go back to the Light. I guess I was more ashamed or embarrassed that if I did, He wouldn’t want me. It was like if I did run to Him, I would be “giving up” or “giving in” because I wasn’t strong enough on my own.
Gradually, as I began to realize that I obviously couldn’t live this life on my own, I began seeking His face once again in little ways. Maybe a Christian book here. A prayer there. Some scripture if I felt like it. Nothing hard core, to say the least. And, I’m still not back to where I want to be, where I used to be. You know that old saying, “If you’re not moving forward, you’re sliding backwards.”? I figured (in this period of darkness) that if I wasn’t moving forward, I would just stay in my place. WRONG.
Praise God for mercy and grace, for everlasting love that sees past my stupidity and embraces my potential. I am forever indebted to my wonderful Savior who took my life and once again reminded me of redemption, a gift so sweet that each time it really sinks in, I can hardly believe it myself.
In Howie’s words, “I used to think the sun was evil, but now I know it’s not.” : )
Dec 7, 2009
I'm Back
So I think this will turn into a tradition…me posting while I’m supposed to be studying for my exams. Seems like I did this the last two semesters, too. It has nothing to do with procrastinating or not wanting to look for one more minute at my ginormous study guide…no, it is just THAT important that I have to post it NOW!I have been reading Brennan Manning’s book The Furious Longing of God. Well, I just started it this weekend. Anyways, so far, so good. I found that this passage struck a chord today:
“If you took the love of all the best mother and fathers who have lived in the course of human history, all their goodness, kindness, patience, fidelity, wisdom, tenderness, strength, and love and united all those qualities in a single person, that person’s love would only be a faint shadow of the furious love and mercy in the heart of God the Father addressed to you and me at this moment.”
I always hear that you never know the love of a parent until you become one. Considering that is QUITE a ways down the road for me, this illustration sure helps me to understand. I do have to say that I am blessed with
I don’t know why I was running in the first place. Was it because He asked me to do something that was uncomfortable? Was it because I got bored? Maybe it was because I got tired? Whatever it was, I’m glad that looming cloud of darkness has passed, and I’m beginning to see the Light again. His love is so good.
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