Well, the end is near. In fact, it’s only two days away. I still can’t get over how fast it went by, now that I’m looking back at all that God has done since I’ve been in Brazil. When we first got here, the interns were trying to explain to us how it would all seem like one long week- almost like a dream. At first, I dismissed them as crazy, but now I know exactly what they’re talking about!
This week is our “sending off” week, where we are being prepared and equipped to go out into the world and preach Jesus. How appropriate that we are studying the book of Acts. It is filled with stories of imperfect people, delighting the heart of God, by doing acts of ministry through the power of His Spirit. And, that’s what each of us is called to do. I think we have a tendency to forget that- at least I do. My purpose on earth is to glorify God by doing works through His Spirit. Just doing good works doesn’t cut it.
Pastor Chet said today…so what if you built a house? If you built a house for someone and didn’t preach Jesus along the way and plant seeds, it’s all worthless because they’re still going to hell! Too often, the church gets focused on social work and not on preaching Christ. The social work is to open a door for preaching Christ- we don’t do it just to do it. We do these acts of service to share the love of Christ with others. We get so busy doing that we forget why we do what we do.
And, I try it all on my own. What Christ calls us to do, the way He calls us to live, is impossible in my own strength. I struggle and strive until I finally rely on Him to do what He said He would do from the beginning.
Instead, I want to be known for a reputation of faith. You see, in Acts 9:30, Saul is sent to Tarsus after his conversion. He is sent away for a time of spiritual growth and building. He had a reputation of cruelty for Christians, but it would become a reputation of love for Christ. This short season of time, Paul was invested into, and he was set apart to pursue God and prepare for ministry. In the same way, God “exiled me” to the “island of Patmos for the Word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9).
I was too puffed up with me, too full of myself, and God had no room. I could ask God to fill me all I want, but if there isn’t any room, He won’t come in. These three months have broken me and shown me just how far off the radar I am when it comes to my faith in Christ. Praise God for His grace and mercy! He didn’t give up on me, instead, He called me to Patmos to rebuild on a firm foundation. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 says, “We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But, whoever loves God, this one is known by Him.” I thought I knew it all. In reality, I knew nothing, because I didn’t build upon love.
No matter what I do, it must be rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. My motivations were off, my heart was prideful, and I thought it was okay. It definitely wasn’t. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). I don’t know about you, but the words “abhor” and “cling” sound like strong action words to me. Whatever is not of God, I must hate. I must cast it as far away from me as possible. And whatever is of God, that, I must cling to with every last ounce of energy that I have in my body. Those are two polar opposites, and one cannot be done with the other.
There’s no more riding the fence. Paul knew the Scriptures, but he didn’t live them. His conversion and time in Tarsus built him up so that in Acts 11, Barnabus (“the son of encouragement”) sought Paul “that for a whole year they assembled with the church AND TAUGHT a great many people. And the disciples were first called Christians” (Acts 11:26). After Paul learned, he spread the knowledge and the Word. He taught others the revelations that God spoke to Him in His time of seclusion. That’s what God has also called me to do.
I have been built up, not for my own edification, but for the edification of the body. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my team here at Patmos, it’s that we need each other to survive. It’s the same with the body of Christ. We all have to show up, and we all have to contribute our gifts and talents.
“4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:4-8)
In this way, we fulfill what Christ calls us to do at the beginning of Romans, chapter 12: “present your bodies a living sacrifice” (v. 1). “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) If we aren’t ours in the first place, why do we still live as if we are?
The tide has changed, and I pray that God will continue to keep my heart set steadfastly on pursuing Him and Him alone. It’s not that He will fail in His promises, it’s that I might fail in my responsibility. If I seek Him, He will be there. But, I must purpose to seek Him above all, regardless of the circumstances and situations that surround me. I must “set my face like a flint, and know that I will not be ashamed. He is near who justifies me; who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near me.” (Isaiah 50:7-8).
“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?”
Showing posts with label Patmos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Patmos. Show all posts
Aug 12, 2010
Jul 18, 2010
Contentment in the Crazy
4 weeks left here in Brazil. Crazy, isn’t it? Seems like only yesterday I was bawling my eyes out in the airport while saying goodbye to my parents…I’ll never outgrow that, I don’t think!
My time here so far has been one of extremes. Extreme growth. Extreme emotions. Extreme chaos and confusion inside. Extreme understanding. Extreme lessons. Extreme challenges.
The more I’m here, the more I realize the importance of having my team for support. This week, we studied the book of Philippians. Paul wrote it while in jail. Here’s this guy who has all the reason in the world to have a bad attitude. Yet, he doesn’t. Content in his circumstances, he chooses to encourage fellow brethren instead of dwell on his own situation and emotions. What an example.
We lived out the book of Philippians this week. While I can’t go into details, I can say that I gained much greater insight and a respect for Paul’s position and hope to one day achieve the same mindset he had.
That’s one thing I’ve craved since the day I’ve been here. The word that keeps coming to mind is immovable. Unshakeable and undeterred from my direction. I hope to become a woman so set on Christ that the circumstances around me have no influence on my attitude and behavior. The other day, I was studying and ran across this verse in Acts 20:24- "But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." I think I found my life verse : )
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” If I’ve truly been crucified with Christ, my flesh doesn’t exist. My earthly desires are put to rest for a heavenly gain that cannot be beat. But, I find myself still living for the pleasures of this world- for comfort and for security that don’t last. If I’ve been put to death, then nothing should shake me, because I’m dead already! What can the world do to me? How can Satan defeat me? He can’t, I’m dead already.
Contentment seems so easy to discuss when everything’s going good. It’s so easy to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It’s even easy to claim that you will say that when bad times come around. But the true test is when the bad times do come around. Is that really what you say? Is that really what your heart overflows with…praise?
I wish I could say I’m there, but I’m definitely not. God is growing me a lot in this sense, and I’m learning to become more flexible, more at ease when everything is crazy. Don’t get me wrong- I’m nowhere near Paul’s attitude, but the first step in correcting it is to recognize it.
The biggest sign to me was when the challenge this week was called off. Many of our faces changed from faces of sadness to faces of joy. Shouldn’t it be purely joy the whole time? James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, making you perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Count it ALL joy? Our faces didn’t reflect that, yet they should have. If I really trust the God behind that promise, I would count it all joy. The testing of my faith produces patience. Patience makes me perfect and complete. I lack nothing. Nothing. Why would I trade temporary satisfaction for lack? I shouldn’t.
Do you see what I’m saying? What will we choose to do in the midst of our trials? Will we choose to dwell in our circumstances, with negativity and pessimism? Or, will we choose an attitude of joy, remembering that Christ has us where we’re at for a specific reason? This all sounds so cliché, and that’s not where I wanted it to go, but it’s what God laid on my heart. For once, I feel like I’m really TRYING to live it out.
He has ordained all of our days. He goes before us and prepares the way. Why do we have reason to fear? He will not give us anything we cannot handle. Why are we afraid?
This coming week is supposedly one of the hardest weeks in Patmos. I’m not gonna lie- I’m nervous. Yes, you heard me. Here I am proclaiming the truth of God’s presence, yet scared of what lies ahead. And that’s exactly what the problem has been the whole time in my life. Instead of trusting God to do what He says He will do, I make my own plans and decisions. I should be waiting on the Lord, but somehow I’ve tricked myself into thinking that if I’m “in control” of the situation, it’s better because I “know” what’s up ahead. In reality, the more I lose control, the better off it is.
So, what has God been teaching you lately? How has He been molding and shaping you? Anyone else’s toes a little bruised? Yikes…but “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
My time here so far has been one of extremes. Extreme growth. Extreme emotions. Extreme chaos and confusion inside. Extreme understanding. Extreme lessons. Extreme challenges.
The more I’m here, the more I realize the importance of having my team for support. This week, we studied the book of Philippians. Paul wrote it while in jail. Here’s this guy who has all the reason in the world to have a bad attitude. Yet, he doesn’t. Content in his circumstances, he chooses to encourage fellow brethren instead of dwell on his own situation and emotions. What an example.
We lived out the book of Philippians this week. While I can’t go into details, I can say that I gained much greater insight and a respect for Paul’s position and hope to one day achieve the same mindset he had.
That’s one thing I’ve craved since the day I’ve been here. The word that keeps coming to mind is immovable. Unshakeable and undeterred from my direction. I hope to become a woman so set on Christ that the circumstances around me have no influence on my attitude and behavior. The other day, I was studying and ran across this verse in Acts 20:24- "But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." I think I found my life verse : )
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” If I’ve truly been crucified with Christ, my flesh doesn’t exist. My earthly desires are put to rest for a heavenly gain that cannot be beat. But, I find myself still living for the pleasures of this world- for comfort and for security that don’t last. If I’ve been put to death, then nothing should shake me, because I’m dead already! What can the world do to me? How can Satan defeat me? He can’t, I’m dead already.
Contentment seems so easy to discuss when everything’s going good. It’s so easy to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It’s even easy to claim that you will say that when bad times come around. But the true test is when the bad times do come around. Is that really what you say? Is that really what your heart overflows with…praise?
I wish I could say I’m there, but I’m definitely not. God is growing me a lot in this sense, and I’m learning to become more flexible, more at ease when everything is crazy. Don’t get me wrong- I’m nowhere near Paul’s attitude, but the first step in correcting it is to recognize it.
The biggest sign to me was when the challenge this week was called off. Many of our faces changed from faces of sadness to faces of joy. Shouldn’t it be purely joy the whole time? James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, making you perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Count it ALL joy? Our faces didn’t reflect that, yet they should have. If I really trust the God behind that promise, I would count it all joy. The testing of my faith produces patience. Patience makes me perfect and complete. I lack nothing. Nothing. Why would I trade temporary satisfaction for lack? I shouldn’t.
Do you see what I’m saying? What will we choose to do in the midst of our trials? Will we choose to dwell in our circumstances, with negativity and pessimism? Or, will we choose an attitude of joy, remembering that Christ has us where we’re at for a specific reason? This all sounds so cliché, and that’s not where I wanted it to go, but it’s what God laid on my heart. For once, I feel like I’m really TRYING to live it out.
He has ordained all of our days. He goes before us and prepares the way. Why do we have reason to fear? He will not give us anything we cannot handle. Why are we afraid?
This coming week is supposedly one of the hardest weeks in Patmos. I’m not gonna lie- I’m nervous. Yes, you heard me. Here I am proclaiming the truth of God’s presence, yet scared of what lies ahead. And that’s exactly what the problem has been the whole time in my life. Instead of trusting God to do what He says He will do, I make my own plans and decisions. I should be waiting on the Lord, but somehow I’ve tricked myself into thinking that if I’m “in control” of the situation, it’s better because I “know” what’s up ahead. In reality, the more I lose control, the better off it is.
So, what has God been teaching you lately? How has He been molding and shaping you? Anyone else’s toes a little bruised? Yikes…but “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
Jul 10, 2010
Brazil Update Numero Dois : )
So I haven't posted any pictures since I've been here! Here are a few from the beginning until now...leaving out some, but you get the idea. I need to start snapping some more, though! Enjoy these few...
Plane ride...view of Sao Paulo
A little trail at the camp where I spend Patmos Time : )
Brazilian Sunset
Evidence of what we call "vampire bugs"...enough said.
We have all sorts of animals running around the camp!
Downtown Ron Don
The pictures above are all from our Brazilian steak dinner at the Ron Don Moto Club. YUM!
Tortinhas. Lime Cookies. Best thing since sliced bread...no, seriously- this is my favorite snack here!
Ouside of our host home in Ron Don.
My sidekick Diana and I after a refreshing shower.
Camila (left of me) and her Mom with Diana...they were our host family.
Brazilians are extremely hospitable- I cannot even begin to tell you how welcome they made us feel! I learned so much about selfless love from them and hope to exten the same hospitality to others that they offered to me.
Iguacu Falls
God is so good. He decided He'd throw a rainbow up for a perfect day at the falls.
Jump for joy.
Love this picture (Hipstamatic app on iPhone for most of these)
Tempted by the tourist hats
Butterflies everywhere here. Beautiful!
Brazilian Steakhouse after the Falls.
Having a little fun with the chefs.
My Paraguay Indian friend...like my headdress?
They were selling all sorts of bags, jewlery, musical instruments, and other handcrafted items.
More to come as soon as time allows : ) Love and miss you all.
Jun 22, 2010
Quick Update from Brazil : )
Hellooo, long lost blog friends! How I’ve missed you all over the past few weeks! I can’t believe it’s already been a month here at Patmos. To tell you I’ve been stretched beyond what I can handle is an understatement. Signing up for this discipleship program, I never realized just how intense it would be. At the same time, seeing how weak I am is revealing to me just how powerful Christ can be in me, if I choose to live in His strength rather than mine.
I would be lying if I told you it’s been all fun and games. My weeks here are filled with mixed emotions- excitement about what I have the opportunity to learn, fear about what is to come, and a longing to be home with family and friends…back in my comfort zone.
This is exactly where God wants me, though- outside of the realm of typical life. Pastor Chet said the first week that Patmos is normally for those stubborn enough to try on their own instead of letting God do the work He wants to do in the first place. Guilty, as charged. Doesn’t it seem like you know better than Him? Deep down, I know it’s a lie from Satan, but losing control seems scarier than maintaining it.
We’ve been challenged to get in the Word and hide it in our hearts. We have memory verses each day and must know them. I am learning what it means to truly meditate upon the Word, and I find that whenever I review a verse, God reveals something new and different about it that I never got before. It’s amazing how God can create a new experience each time with just a few words from Him. Without giving away information that I’m not supposed to, let’s just say that if you don’t know your verses, it hurts…physically and emotionally. It can not only affect you personally, but also your teammates. That happened to me today. I was off by one word for my verse. I suffered, and the team suffered with me. I felt horrible and blamed myself that everyone had to go through it. It was my fault. But, I wouldn’t have learned what I’m about to share.
The verse I had to recite was 1 Corinthians 2:9-10, “But as it is written, ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us THROUGH His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” I replaced the word “through” with the word “by.” I know what you’re probably thinking- that’s not really a big deal. But, when I thought about it, it was major conviction personally. That’s exactly what happens to me…I don’t work THROUGH the power of the Holy Spirit, I work on my own strength with the Holy Spirit BY me. He’s only my Helper when I specifically give Him access. Just like when I recited my verse. I never stopped to ask the Lord to help me, instead I relied on my studying and mental abilities to carry me through. That obviously failed. Slowly, I’m learning to change. God has to be my Everything all the time, not only when I feel like it.
That’s another thing that God’s been convicting me of lately. I realized just how consumed I am by my feelings and the circumstances around me. I allow what’s happening to determine my attitude, instead of focusing on the unwavering hope offered in Christ. “This hope we have an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters in the Presence behind the veil…” (Hebrews 6:19). Hope in the Lord draws me into His presence, and if that’s where I reside, I have no reason to fear or fret. Psalm 46 has been my theme here lately. When I feel like giving in because of all that is happening to me and around me, I remember:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
There are many other lessons I could tell, but time just doesn’t permit. I can’t wait to share many more with you once I get the opportunity to see you at home. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the blog or emails, as I promised I would. I never realized how little time I would have to do so, and our email accounts make it difficult to start a list for updates.
Lastly, I cannot stress how truly thankful I am for all of the encouraging words and prayers you are sending me. You have no idea how those acts of kindness hit me at just the right time and remind me of the purpose in the midst of the confusion.
This rare occasion to write made my day : ) Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Seek hard after Him, “…for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).
I would be lying if I told you it’s been all fun and games. My weeks here are filled with mixed emotions- excitement about what I have the opportunity to learn, fear about what is to come, and a longing to be home with family and friends…back in my comfort zone.
This is exactly where God wants me, though- outside of the realm of typical life. Pastor Chet said the first week that Patmos is normally for those stubborn enough to try on their own instead of letting God do the work He wants to do in the first place. Guilty, as charged. Doesn’t it seem like you know better than Him? Deep down, I know it’s a lie from Satan, but losing control seems scarier than maintaining it.
We’ve been challenged to get in the Word and hide it in our hearts. We have memory verses each day and must know them. I am learning what it means to truly meditate upon the Word, and I find that whenever I review a verse, God reveals something new and different about it that I never got before. It’s amazing how God can create a new experience each time with just a few words from Him. Without giving away information that I’m not supposed to, let’s just say that if you don’t know your verses, it hurts…physically and emotionally. It can not only affect you personally, but also your teammates. That happened to me today. I was off by one word for my verse. I suffered, and the team suffered with me. I felt horrible and blamed myself that everyone had to go through it. It was my fault. But, I wouldn’t have learned what I’m about to share.
The verse I had to recite was 1 Corinthians 2:9-10, “But as it is written, ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us THROUGH His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” I replaced the word “through” with the word “by.” I know what you’re probably thinking- that’s not really a big deal. But, when I thought about it, it was major conviction personally. That’s exactly what happens to me…I don’t work THROUGH the power of the Holy Spirit, I work on my own strength with the Holy Spirit BY me. He’s only my Helper when I specifically give Him access. Just like when I recited my verse. I never stopped to ask the Lord to help me, instead I relied on my studying and mental abilities to carry me through. That obviously failed. Slowly, I’m learning to change. God has to be my Everything all the time, not only when I feel like it.
That’s another thing that God’s been convicting me of lately. I realized just how consumed I am by my feelings and the circumstances around me. I allow what’s happening to determine my attitude, instead of focusing on the unwavering hope offered in Christ. “This hope we have an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters in the Presence behind the veil…” (Hebrews 6:19). Hope in the Lord draws me into His presence, and if that’s where I reside, I have no reason to fear or fret. Psalm 46 has been my theme here lately. When I feel like giving in because of all that is happening to me and around me, I remember:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
There are many other lessons I could tell, but time just doesn’t permit. I can’t wait to share many more with you once I get the opportunity to see you at home. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the blog or emails, as I promised I would. I never realized how little time I would have to do so, and our email accounts make it difficult to start a list for updates.
Lastly, I cannot stress how truly thankful I am for all of the encouraging words and prayers you are sending me. You have no idea how those acts of kindness hit me at just the right time and remind me of the purpose in the midst of the confusion.
This rare occasion to write made my day : ) Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Seek hard after Him, “…for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).
May 12, 2010
A Quick Wander in the Wilderness
So, I'm a little behind on my blogging. Ever since I moved out of the dorms last Thursday, I've just been going, going, going (in a good way). I never knew a girl could have so many appointments in one week...I'm trying to squeeze everything in before I leave. So far, it's working : )
You are probably not going to believe this when I tell you, but God has raised $3,850 already! To think that all the details of my trip are coming together in less than 27 days still blows me away. It's funny when I reflect on the day I got my acceptance letter. They emphasized in the letter to make quick preparations, because the trip begins in 27 days. For the next few days, that's all I focused on- 27 days, 27 days, 27 days! I got so stinkin' stressed out and anxious that I was a nervous wreck. Then I started focusing on God. That's when everything began to fall together. Have you ever heard that quote "Don't focus on the size of your waves, focus on the size of your God."? I love that! It's so true. When you realize just how big and awesome and powerful God is, the circumstances in your life certainly start to shrink in both size and intensity. Soon, those stressful situations get turned into adventures where you get to see God move in ways you could have never imagined. That's what's been happening to me. Now, I think it's kind of fun when something seems impossible to do. Then, I wait in anticipation and say, "Okay, God, I can't wait to see how you're gonna pull this one off!" He sure is a lot more creative than I : ) This isn't to say I don't still have my moments of doubt- that strikes us all- I just think God has taught me a lot over these past few weeks about resting in His perfect provision and timing.
We studied Deuteronomy 8 at Eikon last week...not my typical book of study, but it was perfect for what I was going through! I felt like I had taken this big step to go to Patmos (and like I mentioned earlier) started freaking out. I was confused and didn't know if I had made the right decision- I was reluctant to tell some people because it felt like it wasn't really going to happen. Looking back, it was a whole bunch of the Devil clouding up my vision and causing me to doubt God's ability. So, basically, I felt like I was just wandering around, in what I like to call "the funk." You know those times when God seems so far away, but you know for a fact that He's right there? You know those times when you try your very hardest to pray and study the Bible, but it's just not "happening"? That's where I was. I was doing everything I thought was right, but something was missing. Sounds a lot like the Israelites, now doesn't it?
Deuteronomy 8:2-5
2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
As soon as the pastor read this, I went "That's why!" That's why I'm feeling this way. God hasn't abandoned me- He's LED ME IN THE DESERT. HE LED ME THERE! God wanted to see how I would survive on the bare minimum- no warm, fuzzy feelings during worship time- no scenes with His overwhelming presence. How will she react when it seems like everything she "needs" is gone...except for Me? I think a lot of times we get so fixated on the "perfect worship set" or the lighting effects or the pastor who uses crazy illustrations or the people who go to church with us. We forget that it has nothing to do with us or the people around us. Forget all that junk- I just want Jesus! I realized that no matter how put together everything is around me, it all felt like chaos without my eyes fixed in the right place. I remember saying, "God, you feel so far away!" And, then I thought- my relationship with Christ shouldn't be based on feelings, but on truth. Feelings come and go- blaze and wane- but, truth...that's here to stay! Clinging to the truth of God's promises and holding fast to His Word is what gets us though the desert.
3 He humbled you...
He also humbled me. That's for sure. You know those times when you think, "Finally! I'm doing something right- yes!" Well, God likes to remind us real quick that it's not us doing the good, but Him. As soon as I tried with my strength, I once again realized that I was incapable. I bet God's up there going, "I wonder just how many times we'll have to go over this with her." Praise the Lord for His loving patience with this kid : )
...causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.
To say that He caused me to hunger might be an understatement! I had been on this spiritual high for a few weeks and was so used to everything going my way. I bet most of you know this- it's no secret: it's so much easier to praise God when everything is good and dandy than when the going gets tough. Isn't it? So, God did prepare me for the wilderness. He showed me time and time again answered prayers, open doors for opportunities, and friendships that propelled me further into His arms. But when all the cushion around your relationship with Christ is no longer there, how do you react? For me, it was a whole lotta drama queen and not a lot of clinging to the Word. But, that's what the wilderness is for. To teach us, to humble us, to remind us that He is all we need.
And, I don't know if you caught verse 4, but the Israelites wandered for FORTY YEARS with clothes that didn't wear out, with feet that didn't swell. In the desert. That's just amazing. So God. He tests us, but He doesn't stop caring for us. He supernaturally provides for our wilderness experiences, no matter how long they might drag on.
So, a spiritual battle was alive in my heart, and I remember saying on Wednesday afternoon (before Eikon), "Okay, I give up. I'm defeated. I'm sick and tired of trying." Christian- don't ever say that! I might as well have said, "Devil, you win. You are victorious over Christ." Ouch- how that must have broken my Savior' heart! Jesus died so that I wouldn't be defeated, yet there I was declaring my defeat. The same lips that sing "Your Grace is Enough" and "Mighty to Save" were saying, "God, you can't do it." It's seriously like an arrow to the heart when I remember my attitude then, but praise God for new mercies and faithfulness each morning!
5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
After hearing this message on Wednesday, I was reminded of purpose in the wild. God didn't lead me there to punish or to torture me, but to refine me and develop my character. He's a God of love, a God whose discipline we should enjoy because it ultimately makes us more like Him. Too bad I was busy throwing a temper tantrum (boy, do I have a lot of growing up to do!).
But, all in all, lesson learned. Thank You, Dad, for seeing the big picture, even if I seem miserable and disappointed in the process! His wisdom never ceases to amaze me, especially when I look back and see His hand guiding me.
So, one last little tid bit...you should read the next part in Deuteronomy 8, especially if you're "in the wild" right now.
6 Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. 7 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.
With great obedience comes great reward. God doesn't ignore your hard work. When I read this passage, the word that keeps coming to mind is "lush." God is doing all this to bring us to a lush land, to a promised place where our needs are met and our expectations are widly exceeded!
My wilderness period didn't last for forty years, because God knew I wouldn't survive. Each and every day, He's using life's situations and trials to develop my character and reveal His character to me. There's no doubt, I'll have more wilderness experiences to come, but I should be better prepared. For now, I've arrived at the last verse. Praising the Lord for the good He has given me. May I never forget it. Ever.
You are probably not going to believe this when I tell you, but God has raised $3,850 already! To think that all the details of my trip are coming together in less than 27 days still blows me away. It's funny when I reflect on the day I got my acceptance letter. They emphasized in the letter to make quick preparations, because the trip begins in 27 days. For the next few days, that's all I focused on- 27 days, 27 days, 27 days! I got so stinkin' stressed out and anxious that I was a nervous wreck. Then I started focusing on God. That's when everything began to fall together. Have you ever heard that quote "Don't focus on the size of your waves, focus on the size of your God."? I love that! It's so true. When you realize just how big and awesome and powerful God is, the circumstances in your life certainly start to shrink in both size and intensity. Soon, those stressful situations get turned into adventures where you get to see God move in ways you could have never imagined. That's what's been happening to me. Now, I think it's kind of fun when something seems impossible to do. Then, I wait in anticipation and say, "Okay, God, I can't wait to see how you're gonna pull this one off!" He sure is a lot more creative than I : ) This isn't to say I don't still have my moments of doubt- that strikes us all- I just think God has taught me a lot over these past few weeks about resting in His perfect provision and timing.
We studied Deuteronomy 8 at Eikon last week...not my typical book of study, but it was perfect for what I was going through! I felt like I had taken this big step to go to Patmos (and like I mentioned earlier) started freaking out. I was confused and didn't know if I had made the right decision- I was reluctant to tell some people because it felt like it wasn't really going to happen. Looking back, it was a whole bunch of the Devil clouding up my vision and causing me to doubt God's ability. So, basically, I felt like I was just wandering around, in what I like to call "the funk." You know those times when God seems so far away, but you know for a fact that He's right there? You know those times when you try your very hardest to pray and study the Bible, but it's just not "happening"? That's where I was. I was doing everything I thought was right, but something was missing. Sounds a lot like the Israelites, now doesn't it?
Deuteronomy 8:2-5
2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
As soon as the pastor read this, I went "That's why!" That's why I'm feeling this way. God hasn't abandoned me- He's LED ME IN THE DESERT. HE LED ME THERE! God wanted to see how I would survive on the bare minimum- no warm, fuzzy feelings during worship time- no scenes with His overwhelming presence. How will she react when it seems like everything she "needs" is gone...except for Me? I think a lot of times we get so fixated on the "perfect worship set" or the lighting effects or the pastor who uses crazy illustrations or the people who go to church with us. We forget that it has nothing to do with us or the people around us. Forget all that junk- I just want Jesus! I realized that no matter how put together everything is around me, it all felt like chaos without my eyes fixed in the right place. I remember saying, "God, you feel so far away!" And, then I thought- my relationship with Christ shouldn't be based on feelings, but on truth. Feelings come and go- blaze and wane- but, truth...that's here to stay! Clinging to the truth of God's promises and holding fast to His Word is what gets us though the desert.
3 He humbled you...
He also humbled me. That's for sure. You know those times when you think, "Finally! I'm doing something right- yes!" Well, God likes to remind us real quick that it's not us doing the good, but Him. As soon as I tried with my strength, I once again realized that I was incapable. I bet God's up there going, "I wonder just how many times we'll have to go over this with her." Praise the Lord for His loving patience with this kid : )
...causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.
To say that He caused me to hunger might be an understatement! I had been on this spiritual high for a few weeks and was so used to everything going my way. I bet most of you know this- it's no secret: it's so much easier to praise God when everything is good and dandy than when the going gets tough. Isn't it? So, God did prepare me for the wilderness. He showed me time and time again answered prayers, open doors for opportunities, and friendships that propelled me further into His arms. But when all the cushion around your relationship with Christ is no longer there, how do you react? For me, it was a whole lotta drama queen and not a lot of clinging to the Word. But, that's what the wilderness is for. To teach us, to humble us, to remind us that He is all we need.
And, I don't know if you caught verse 4, but the Israelites wandered for FORTY YEARS with clothes that didn't wear out, with feet that didn't swell. In the desert. That's just amazing. So God. He tests us, but He doesn't stop caring for us. He supernaturally provides for our wilderness experiences, no matter how long they might drag on.
So, a spiritual battle was alive in my heart, and I remember saying on Wednesday afternoon (before Eikon), "Okay, I give up. I'm defeated. I'm sick and tired of trying." Christian- don't ever say that! I might as well have said, "Devil, you win. You are victorious over Christ." Ouch- how that must have broken my Savior' heart! Jesus died so that I wouldn't be defeated, yet there I was declaring my defeat. The same lips that sing "Your Grace is Enough" and "Mighty to Save" were saying, "God, you can't do it." It's seriously like an arrow to the heart when I remember my attitude then, but praise God for new mercies and faithfulness each morning!
5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
After hearing this message on Wednesday, I was reminded of purpose in the wild. God didn't lead me there to punish or to torture me, but to refine me and develop my character. He's a God of love, a God whose discipline we should enjoy because it ultimately makes us more like Him. Too bad I was busy throwing a temper tantrum (boy, do I have a lot of growing up to do!).
But, all in all, lesson learned. Thank You, Dad, for seeing the big picture, even if I seem miserable and disappointed in the process! His wisdom never ceases to amaze me, especially when I look back and see His hand guiding me.
So, one last little tid bit...you should read the next part in Deuteronomy 8, especially if you're "in the wild" right now.
6 Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. 7 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.
With great obedience comes great reward. God doesn't ignore your hard work. When I read this passage, the word that keeps coming to mind is "lush." God is doing all this to bring us to a lush land, to a promised place where our needs are met and our expectations are widly exceeded!
My wilderness period didn't last for forty years, because God knew I wouldn't survive. Each and every day, He's using life's situations and trials to develop my character and reveal His character to me. There's no doubt, I'll have more wilderness experiences to come, but I should be better prepared. For now, I've arrived at the last verse. Praising the Lord for the good He has given me. May I never forget it. Ever.
Apr 30, 2010
Jehovah Jireh
To say that I'm grateful or thankful or overwhelmed or blow away by everyone's support doesn't even convey how I'm feeling right now. Words can't describe how unbelievably blessed I'm feeling by all the prayers and financial support. God is working in ways I never thought possible. Oh, me of little faith!
As of now, 1/3 of my trip is paid for! I received a call from Mr. Keith Thursday night saying that the youth group (at First Baptist Church of Lake Placid) is committed to raising $2,000 in support. I didn't quite know what to say besides, "Are you serious?" and "That's so awesome!!" Goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day : )
Wanna hear another cool story of God's provision? I had an appointment at 12:30 with the Passport Agency in Miami today. My passport has to be expedited in order to allow time to apply for my visa. After the one hour drive to downtown Miami and 10 minute drive around the parking garage (8th level parking- success lol), I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I went inside to check in, thinking this would take an hour at the most. I was wrong. There was an entire room, well, more like two rooms, filled with people who all had appointments and were waiting. (Just wondering Passport Agency...why make appointments when they don't really matter?)
Anyways, I went up to the window to check in. "Can I see your passport application, primary form of identification, secondary form of identification, two passport photos, and travel itinerary?" Whoa- talk about information overload. I began pulling documents out of my folder and handed them to the receptionist. Then, I opened my purse to get my driver's license only to discover I left it in the copier from the night before (they require copies of all this stuff, too!). Smart one, Chelsea. I was horrified. I think my face lost its color. I had just wrestled lunch hour traffic and checked for everything before I left, except for my license, of course! She said, "Since you have your previous passport, you might be able to use this as photo I.D., but it might not work because it is a minor passport. You will just have to wait and see who you get. The wait is two hours" My head starts spinning. Roommate gone on trip to NY. Other friends can't get into room without key. No time to drive back and forth because they shut the office doors at three and appointments can't be held. I decided to wait it out.
Immediately, I began praying- "God, I trust that You have everything under control and You work all things together for the good of those who are called according to your purpose. You do have a purpose for me at Patmos. Thank You for being the God who provides. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. Whom then shall I fear?" Right after that, I texted my prayer warriors for some serious interceding! If I didn't get the passport today, it would throw off my chance of getting the visa in time for the trip, which meant no Patmos this summer!
The two hour wait turned into two and a half. By the end of my time in that hard plastic chair, I had decided the government should invest in a cheerier paint color for their Passport Agency office. The gray was killing any hint of happy, especially with the security officers. Finally...NUMBER 126!!!! My heart kind of raced before I got to the window. I was walking and praying, walking and praying. I handed over my packet of documents and photos. She asked to see my Driver's License (of course), and I explained what I had done. "Well, do you have your social security card?" No 'mam. That's at my house in Lake Placid. "Where is Lake Placid?" lol...yeah I get that a lot. Needless to say, she ended up using a birth certificate and my minor passport and the copy of my driver's license ("I can make this work," she said). 5 minutes later, I was out of that drab gray office, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. Misison accomplished- God, You rock!
It was just one more opportunity for God to prove that He doesn't need little 'ole me to work out the details. Thank goodness, because I would fail miserably! Jehovah Jireh..."The Lord will provide." (Genesis 22:14). His provision isn't conditional upon my actions. He provides because He loves and because He can. I have a feeling that the Passport Agency won't be my only Jehovah Jireh on this adventure.
As of now, 1/3 of my trip is paid for! I received a call from Mr. Keith Thursday night saying that the youth group (at First Baptist Church of Lake Placid) is committed to raising $2,000 in support. I didn't quite know what to say besides, "Are you serious?" and "That's so awesome!!" Goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day : )
Wanna hear another cool story of God's provision? I had an appointment at 12:30 with the Passport Agency in Miami today. My passport has to be expedited in order to allow time to apply for my visa. After the one hour drive to downtown Miami and 10 minute drive around the parking garage (8th level parking- success lol), I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I went inside to check in, thinking this would take an hour at the most. I was wrong. There was an entire room, well, more like two rooms, filled with people who all had appointments and were waiting. (Just wondering Passport Agency...why make appointments when they don't really matter?)
Anyways, I went up to the window to check in. "Can I see your passport application, primary form of identification, secondary form of identification, two passport photos, and travel itinerary?" Whoa- talk about information overload. I began pulling documents out of my folder and handed them to the receptionist. Then, I opened my purse to get my driver's license only to discover I left it in the copier from the night before (they require copies of all this stuff, too!). Smart one, Chelsea. I was horrified. I think my face lost its color. I had just wrestled lunch hour traffic and checked for everything before I left, except for my license, of course! She said, "Since you have your previous passport, you might be able to use this as photo I.D., but it might not work because it is a minor passport. You will just have to wait and see who you get. The wait is two hours" My head starts spinning. Roommate gone on trip to NY. Other friends can't get into room without key. No time to drive back and forth because they shut the office doors at three and appointments can't be held. I decided to wait it out.
Immediately, I began praying- "God, I trust that You have everything under control and You work all things together for the good of those who are called according to your purpose. You do have a purpose for me at Patmos. Thank You for being the God who provides. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. Whom then shall I fear?" Right after that, I texted my prayer warriors for some serious interceding! If I didn't get the passport today, it would throw off my chance of getting the visa in time for the trip, which meant no Patmos this summer!
The two hour wait turned into two and a half. By the end of my time in that hard plastic chair, I had decided the government should invest in a cheerier paint color for their Passport Agency office. The gray was killing any hint of happy, especially with the security officers. Finally...NUMBER 126!!!! My heart kind of raced before I got to the window. I was walking and praying, walking and praying. I handed over my packet of documents and photos. She asked to see my Driver's License (of course), and I explained what I had done. "Well, do you have your social security card?" No 'mam. That's at my house in Lake Placid. "Where is Lake Placid?" lol...yeah I get that a lot. Needless to say, she ended up using a birth certificate and my minor passport and the copy of my driver's license ("I can make this work," she said). 5 minutes later, I was out of that drab gray office, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. Misison accomplished- God, You rock!
It was just one more opportunity for God to prove that He doesn't need little 'ole me to work out the details. Thank goodness, because I would fail miserably! Jehovah Jireh..."The Lord will provide." (Genesis 22:14). His provision isn't conditional upon my actions. He provides because He loves and because He can. I have a feeling that the Passport Agency won't be my only Jehovah Jireh on this adventure.
Apr 28, 2010
Calling All Prayer Warriors!
Okay! I was supposed to post this yesterday, but time escaped. There is just so much to do before I leave. I've definitely been praying that God will multiply my hours and streamline all these processes : ) I appreciate so much all of your prayers as I prepare for this adventure. I cannot say this enough!
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
- Surrender
- Endurance
- Safety
- Peace
Apr 25, 2010
Here I Go. Patmos 2010.
"Congratulations! You have been accepted into the Summer 2010 3-month term of Patmos: Reality Discipleship in Campo Mourao, Brazil." It went on to remind me that PATMOS BRAZIL STARTS IN 27 DAYS!!! AHHHHHH!
Part of me leaps with excitement, and the other part shrinks back with nervousness and anxiety about what is to come. I know that I will leave as one person and come back as someone completely different. To tell you that I am completely at ease would be a lie. I will be leaving my friends and family for three months with people I don't know in a country I've never visited. But one thing is for sure: "The Lord works all things together for the good of those who love Him," and He has plans "to prosper, not to harm."
In Patmos terms, I will be "challenged for the purpose of change." I will be pushed beyond my own human limitations to discover what it really means to depend fully upon the saving grace of God. I will be stretched and poured out. I will decrease so that He will increase. And I will learn what it means to "be crucified with Christ."
All for the glory of God. My life is not my own. Just like the video I posted yesterday said, "It's not what you can get from God, but what God can get from you." This summer, I'm laying it all down to see what God can do with me.
But, I can't do it alone. I need all the support I can get. Starting today, please partner with me in prayer as I prepare to tithe this season of my life. Pray that passport and visa documentation will go through without any issues. Pray that God begins to break down barriers in my heart that keep me anxious. Pray for peace in the midst of this chaotic preparation (26 days!). Pray that all the doctor's visits, paperwork, and plane arrangements pan out the way they're supposed to.
Pray that God provides over $6,000 financially that I will need for this experience. I am confident in Christ that He will accomplish above and beyond what we can ask, think, or imagine. In my mind, $6,000 is a lot of money that I don't have, but hello- I serve the King of the Universe! I think He can manage a measly $6,000. I'm counting the financial aspect as just one more challenge in trusting God. Oh, and did I mention that He holds time in His hands? Beginning and the end? I'm thinking He's more than capable. It's just about me being calm and resting in His perfect peace in the process.
I will keep you all updated as things progress. In the meantime, pray, pray, pray and please share this link with anyone interested in supporting me.
If you want, you can leave a comment letting me know what you're praying for. Two weeks before I leave, I have to turn in a prayer support sheet, listing people committed to praying for me on a specific day of the week for a very specific need. I'll post about that tomorrow once I have time to set up a sheet.
For more info about Patmos, check out http://www.realitydiscipleship.org/ : )
Let the crazy adventure begin!
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