“We’re like two big human crutches. There ya go- just keep walking.”
“So, you said she had hip surgery?”
“Yeah. She had hip replacement surgery. Thanks so much for helping. You’re a God-send.”
I saw Brittany when I was pulling into the dorm parking lot. Her friend was trying to stand her up, but she just kept falling over. Her crutches were lying on the ground.
I got out of my car, grabbed my stuff, contemplated what I should do, and heard her friend say, “Hey! Can you help us?”
“Sure, let me put my stuff down. Does she have a key?”
“Yeah, she lives here.”
The stench of her breath alone was enough to tell the story. “I just wanted to be social,” she said.
“Be quiet. And just keep walking,” her friend said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny how God works, isn’t it? He knew I would be pulling in the parking lot at that exact time to see those two girls try to maneuver their way into the dorms- one sober, one wasted.
Brittany’s arm wrapped tightly around my neck. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to be social.”
Brittany wasn’t the only one like that tonight. No- there were others, countless others- who stumbled in parking lots and slurred their words until they could no longer speak. They spent time over toilets and sending texts to strangers. They found five minutes of satisfaction followed by a night of misery. They discovered false happiness when all they were searching for was true joy.
And it breaks my heart.
Brittany’s sentence sums it up perfectly. “I just wanted to be social.”
How many more Brittany’s are there? How many more people just want to interact with others and feel something- anything- that makes them feel?
And, I know Brittany will wake up tomorrow with a major headache and a list of regrets. I’ll pass her on campus in a few days, and she’ll have no idea who I am.
Yet, I feel that I know the deepest part of her- the part that’s screaming for an escape, the part of everyone that says, “There’s gotta be something more.”
Being a crutch is hard because your job is to support, not correct. Therapy and doctors correct the damaged hip. The crutches just aid in the process.
My words wouldn’t heal a drunken girl’s heart. My thoughts wouldn’t even make sense. I have to trust the Doctor- that through “prayer and the supply of the spirit of Jesus Christ,” (Phil. 1:19) Brittany will be delivered.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Eph. 6:12-13
Jan 29, 2011
Jan 17, 2011
I May Be Weak
The first time I heard this song was at a Christmas concert. I couldn’t get the bridge out of my head…
“I may be weak,
But Your Spirit’s strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
My God, You never will.”
I felt like I could sing that for days and not get tired of it. I still feel like that. Music always brings me to a thinking place. I love that about a good song. The lyrics can be as simple as day, but it makes me stop and ponder what I’m really singing (or attempting to sing, in my case ; ).
If there is anything I’ve realized these past few months, it is the fact that I am so, so weak. I get tired if I have too much to do. My body feels exhausted after a week full speed. If I don’t eat, I get lightheaded. If I don’t sleep, I can’t function. The limitations are…well, limitless. A thousand times over, I could explain my weakness as a human being, but that does you no good.
Sure, you can identify with feeling weak (well, you guys may have a harder time…just kidding!). But, why is it important that you understand? Only when we recognize our frailty can we submit to God for true strength.
To ask God for strength when you believe you can do life on your own is pointless. That’s like a millionaire asking for money. We ask for strength because we know that without Him, we’re bankrupt. Empty. Zero.
So, in my weakness, He is Strength.
And in my failure, He is Victorious.
Isn’t that a crazy thought? I mean, I can fail time and time and time again- even at the same thing- but God NEVER fails. EVER. EVER! Do you hear what I’m saying, people?! We commune with an incredible God, who fights our battles for us. But just like acknowledging we need His strength, we must be willing to give up the battles. We can’t go in with our own plan, explaining to God the tactics that will work best.
You might be laughing, but isn’t it true? How many times do we find ourselves rationalizing what we are doing and explaining to God why our way is better? And each time we do, we fail. Because we serve a God that conquers, because He’s wise. He knows that only by His victory will we ever be satisfied.
It’s almost like we’re fighting against our own team. Imagine a football team that scores a touchdown for the other team. Or, men in war killing their own men. That doesn’t make sense. Can I remind you of something? GOD IS FOR US. He’s the only One there for us 100% of the time with more love and power than we can imagine. So, why- and maybe it’s just me- why, do we squirm and fight against what He’s trying to produce in and through us sometimes?
I know, I know. Pruning is painful. The things He asks us to sacrifice are the things we love. And if they aren’t, they wouldn’t be a sacrifice would they?
Oh, but we miss the second part of the story. We focus so much on what God is calling us to do/say/be/give/give up that we forget the blessing that stems from obedience to His gentle voice.
“I need You to soften my heart,
And break me apart,
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You’re shaping my life.
All I am, I surrender.
Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You’re good, and Your love is great,
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.”
(Give Me Faith, Elevation Worship)
What an incredible weekend this has been. Not because I did anything super special, but because it was soaked with the presence of God.
There’s nothing and no one like Him.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
“I may be weak,
But Your Spirit’s strong in me,
My flesh may fail,
My God, You never will.”
I felt like I could sing that for days and not get tired of it. I still feel like that. Music always brings me to a thinking place. I love that about a good song. The lyrics can be as simple as day, but it makes me stop and ponder what I’m really singing (or attempting to sing, in my case ; ).
If there is anything I’ve realized these past few months, it is the fact that I am so, so weak. I get tired if I have too much to do. My body feels exhausted after a week full speed. If I don’t eat, I get lightheaded. If I don’t sleep, I can’t function. The limitations are…well, limitless. A thousand times over, I could explain my weakness as a human being, but that does you no good.
Sure, you can identify with feeling weak (well, you guys may have a harder time…just kidding!). But, why is it important that you understand? Only when we recognize our frailty can we submit to God for true strength.
To ask God for strength when you believe you can do life on your own is pointless. That’s like a millionaire asking for money. We ask for strength because we know that without Him, we’re bankrupt. Empty. Zero.
So, in my weakness, He is Strength.
And in my failure, He is Victorious.
Isn’t that a crazy thought? I mean, I can fail time and time and time again- even at the same thing- but God NEVER fails. EVER. EVER! Do you hear what I’m saying, people?! We commune with an incredible God, who fights our battles for us. But just like acknowledging we need His strength, we must be willing to give up the battles. We can’t go in with our own plan, explaining to God the tactics that will work best.
You might be laughing, but isn’t it true? How many times do we find ourselves rationalizing what we are doing and explaining to God why our way is better? And each time we do, we fail. Because we serve a God that conquers, because He’s wise. He knows that only by His victory will we ever be satisfied.
It’s almost like we’re fighting against our own team. Imagine a football team that scores a touchdown for the other team. Or, men in war killing their own men. That doesn’t make sense. Can I remind you of something? GOD IS FOR US. He’s the only One there for us 100% of the time with more love and power than we can imagine. So, why- and maybe it’s just me- why, do we squirm and fight against what He’s trying to produce in and through us sometimes?
I know, I know. Pruning is painful. The things He asks us to sacrifice are the things we love. And if they aren’t, they wouldn’t be a sacrifice would they?
Oh, but we miss the second part of the story. We focus so much on what God is calling us to do/say/be/give/give up that we forget the blessing that stems from obedience to His gentle voice.
“I need You to soften my heart,
And break me apart,
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You’re shaping my life.
All I am, I surrender.
Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You’re good, and Your love is great,
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.”
(Give Me Faith, Elevation Worship)
What an incredible weekend this has been. Not because I did anything super special, but because it was soaked with the presence of God.
There’s nothing and no one like Him.
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
Dec 6, 2010
Nov 12, 2010
My friend Edson
His name is Edson.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
This way, Chels
I was walking with my friend Diana to her car a few weeks ago. We were at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. Needless to say, there are like 50 parking lots and 5,599,302 parking spaces (okay, so the fish isn't quite that big ; ). I didn't drive with her, so I had no clue where she was parked. I was walking like I knew where her car was, and she was just cracking up. I'd start talking with her and then make a turn or a slight veer to the right. She kept saying, "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels." It was quite amusing, and I'm still trying to figure out why it was I thought I knew my way.
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Seeing God's strength makes me realize my own insignificance. Look into the eyes of your Savior and realize there is nothing- nothing inside yourself. I think I'm giving? He gave His life. I think I'm loving? He washed His betrayer's feet. I think I'm patient? He longsuffered for 33 years on this perverse and fallen earth. I think I'm reaching out? He lived to seek and save the lost. I don't measure up. Period. End of sentence. What I perceive as strength comes to nothing because of who He is. Nothing in me is good. "O, wretched man that I am!"
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
Nov 5, 2010
Nuggets of Wisdom from "The Best Question Ever"
I just finished reading Andy Stanley's book The Best Question Ever. It is filled with incredible insight to decision making through one simple question. I know, I know...you want me to let you in on the secret, but it's worth the read, so I'm keeping my lips sealed : ) In the meantime, here are a few quotes from the book to whet your appetite:
Wise people know when they don't know. The fool is the person who convinces himself that he knows more than he really knows and doesn't need to ask anybody anything. At the end of the day, the wise man breathes a sigh of relief; the fool, a sigh of regret.
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
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