Apr 20, 2010
Apr 18, 2010
Inquiring Mind
Have you ever felt that God was telling you something, but in your mind, you questioned if it was really Him? Or...have you ever felt God leading you to do something, but it seems crazy and scary and impossible in a short amount of time?
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
Apr 16, 2010
Eikon Podcast
All That I Am
The more and more I get into God's Word, the more I realize just how weak I am and how much I need Him. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. I talked about this in one of my posts a few weeks ago. I had been striving to meet the "standards," to be "good enough" for God. What a relief it has been to embrace His unconditional love once again! It is so refreshing and rejuvinating once you realize that God doesn't love you any more or any less if you spend ten minutes in prayer or thirty. That's why I love Psalm 103. Praise, praise, praise. Who else can love like He loves?
Verse 14 has been on my mind since Good Friday, and it has dramatically changed my thinking. "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." After reading that Psalm, you're probably thinking....okay, that wouldn't have been my pick, but let me explain.
I'M DUST! I'm a big lump of dust! God knows that. Sometimes I try to puff myself up and act like I'm more than that. I'M DUST! I'm weak, and on my own, absolutely worthless. I'm just a shell here on earth. But, but....when Christ lives in me. Wow. Now that is something worth looking at. When Christ lives in me and in You, people notice. He disciplines me and corrects me and changes me, but "he remembers we are only dust." When I fall short of God's glory, He isn't suprised. He knows that I will. What matters is the motivation of my heart. Is my whole heart seeking after God?
I used to think that in order to seek fully after God, you had to be a devoted Christian who studied the Bible six hours a day and evangelized at least two (okay, maybe these numbers weren't always the same, but you get the idea). The amazing thing about Christ is that He is everywhere- in the car, in my class, at the office. God doesn't speak to me just from the Bible, and He doesn't use me to speak to others only when I set aside two hours. Day in and day out, He purposes each and every move.
Have you ever stopped to think about that? I was walking home from the gym tonight, and I thought to myself....God knew exactly what time I would go to the gym tonight. He knew how long I would run, when I would get tired, and when I would begin gasping for air (haha- just kidding). The crazy thing is He actually knew that not only for me, but for each and every person around me. And He knew that I would be sitting here, on April 16, writing about Him. And He knew that you would be reading this right now. Crazy, isn't it?
Okay- back to the seeking fully after God idea (sorry for my tinge of ADD kicking in ; ). I used to think in order to seek fully after God, you had to be chained to a desk praying and reading the Bible. After your hours of study and prayer, you could then go boldly proclaim to others the Good News. Only people in full time ministry can really serve God, or that's what I thought. Well, God's been using me in ways I never thought possible. Whether it's conversations at work, or with people in line at Chick N' Grill. Every movement He purposes for a reason. And the great thing about it all is that when your heart and mind are fully focused on Christ, you can be doing whatever it is you need to be doing and still glorify Him. There's always what Tozer calls that "secret communion," that goes on between you and God. If you love someone, they're always on your mind. You can't wait to spend time with them and share with them what's been going on in your life, and you look forward to hearing about their life.
I now approach prayer not as a burden, but as a delight. When I miss my morning time alone with God, I normally say, "Man, God, I missed you this morning. Sorry about that." I look forward to telling Him my deepest longings, my heart's desires, and my dreams. Even more so, I love to hear Him. I absolutely love hearing God's voice. He never disappoints, never discourages. His voice is always full of love and compassion. So back to Psalm 103. I can't say it enough. "Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
Open Letter to Mr. Right
I am drained today! These past few weeks have been absolutely life-changing and I wouldn't trade a single minute, but I wouldn't mind some good, quality sleep either.
Tonight was actually kind of relaxing. I went to the gym (haven't been there in a while...) and then worked on some graphic design. But, back to the gym thing...
You might think I'm crazy (well, by now, you probably know I'm a little cooky) by what I'm about to say. Here it goes: I don't think God likes the gym. You see, I have this theory. When I walk into the gym, it's almost like you can feel the intense amount of egotism that fills the room. It's like it sucks the breath right out of you. Guys are struttin' around trying to show off for the ladies (don't worry...that never works for me! lol). And the ladies are trying to impress the guys with their latest ab exercises. It's actually quite amusing when I watch the people there. I think our society has taken the whole "exercise-to-stay-healthy" thing a little to far, don't ya think?
I, personally, don't believe excercise is wrong in and of itself, but I do believe that our society puts it on such a high pedestal that it can become a god. Not cool.
Yeah, so since I had no one else to share this with, I figured why not you?! Oh goodness, see what you have to deal with? The wandering mind of little ole' me. Sorry, but you're stuck, buddy ; )
Tonight was actually kind of relaxing. I went to the gym (haven't been there in a while...) and then worked on some graphic design. But, back to the gym thing...
You might think I'm crazy (well, by now, you probably know I'm a little cooky) by what I'm about to say. Here it goes: I don't think God likes the gym. You see, I have this theory. When I walk into the gym, it's almost like you can feel the intense amount of egotism that fills the room. It's like it sucks the breath right out of you. Guys are struttin' around trying to show off for the ladies (don't worry...that never works for me! lol). And the ladies are trying to impress the guys with their latest ab exercises. It's actually quite amusing when I watch the people there. I think our society has taken the whole "exercise-to-stay-healthy" thing a little to far, don't ya think?
I, personally, don't believe excercise is wrong in and of itself, but I do believe that our society puts it on such a high pedestal that it can become a god. Not cool.
Yeah, so since I had no one else to share this with, I figured why not you?! Oh goodness, see what you have to deal with? The wandering mind of little ole' me. Sorry, but you're stuck, buddy ; )
Apr 8, 2010
It Can't Be Me.
Honestly, Chelsea, you’ve just gotta believe.
And you’ve gotta stop trying so hard. You have to believe that God will do what He says He will do. Stop trying to do it on your own.
Words right out of my friend’s mouth. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been struggling lately. I don’t think that’s something I should say as if it isn’t an everyday occurrence. As Christians, we must expect struggle. We have an enemy who works when we least expect, who steals our hearts and motivations when we don’t keep guard. To say the Christian life is a struggle is an understatement. It’s a battle- an everyday battle where we must choose who to serve. It’s not a once in a lifetime choice- it’s a day to day decision. We choose whether to follow the flesh or follow the Spirit. I digress.
Anyway, I’ve been trying it on my own again. Essentially I’ve been trying to be a Christian without Christ for about two days. I go through the routine of devotion, pray with some passion, and read Scripture. I feel dead compared to my devotional life just a few days before, but what happened? Why do I make such a simple thing so complicated?
Jesus says to have the faith of a child, so why do I worry about the fine details? Why do I question things when I should just have faith and believe? Part of me says that pursuing God should be easy, for the Scriptures say, “If you seek me with all your heart, you will find Me.” But the bigger part of me says it’s harder than that. Having a relationship with the King of the Universe has to be more elaborate, more difficult, more governed by rules. More. Just more.
It’s this constant argument within me. I think I have it right and I’ve got it figured out, but the truth is I will never have it figured out. And the moment I think that I do is the moment I’ve surrendered to the flesh in believing that I in myself am sufficient.
I try to seek as hard as I can on my own strength, but it is the Holy Spirit within me that I must maintain as my guide. I can read as many books, as many Scripture passages as I want, but without discernment and conviction from the Holy Spirit, I might as well not have read them at all.
Pastor Chet said tonight that in the first century, if 95% of the Spirit left the church, the church would fall apart. But if 95% of the Spirit left the church today, we would still press on. We would continue with our meaningless programs, our ridiculous list of events that are absolutely hollow without Jesus in them.
I have lost what it means to be lead by the Spirit. I have slipped into a lapse of reason instead of pure passion fired by Jesus. I have let my head get too wrapped up in matters of the Spirit. Sometimes, okay, most times, my head won’t comprehend what God has to say. I wasn’t built with the capacity to understand how God was there before there was anything. I can’t understand that He holds time and isn’t bound by time. I don’t get how He can stay the same day after day after day without changing. And I don’t get how Someone so perfect and holy in and of Himself would choose to even spend time concerned with the details of my life. My mind doesn’t get it. But I must have faith that it’s true. Matters of the Spirit aren’t always matters of the mind.
I can’t box God up. I can’t discover God based upon the experiences of others. I can’t simply accept society’s view of God. I have to make this journey my own. He desires for me to know Him as intimately as He knows me. I was made to worship and I was made to bring Him the glory.
Honestly, Chelsea, you just gotta believe.
And you’ve gotta stop trying so hard. You have to believe that God will do what He says He will do. Stop trying to do it on your own.
Words right out of my friend’s mouth. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been struggling lately. I don’t think that’s something I should say as if it isn’t an everyday occurrence. As Christians, we must expect struggle. We have an enemy who works when we least expect, who steals our hearts and motivations when we don’t keep guard. To say the Christian life is a struggle is an understatement. It’s a battle- an everyday battle where we must choose who to serve. It’s not a once in a lifetime choice- it’s a day to day decision. We choose whether to follow the flesh or follow the Spirit. I digress.
Anyway, I’ve been trying it on my own again. Essentially I’ve been trying to be a Christian without Christ for about two days. I go through the routine of devotion, pray with some passion, and read Scripture. I feel dead compared to my devotional life just a few days before, but what happened? Why do I make such a simple thing so complicated?
Jesus says to have the faith of a child, so why do I worry about the fine details? Why do I question things when I should just have faith and believe? Part of me says that pursuing God should be easy, for the Scriptures say, “If you seek me with all your heart, you will find Me.” But the bigger part of me says it’s harder than that. Having a relationship with the King of the Universe has to be more elaborate, more difficult, more governed by rules. More. Just more.
It’s this constant argument within me. I think I have it right and I’ve got it figured out, but the truth is I will never have it figured out. And the moment I think that I do is the moment I’ve surrendered to the flesh in believing that I in myself am sufficient.
I try to seek as hard as I can on my own strength, but it is the Holy Spirit within me that I must maintain as my guide. I can read as many books, as many Scripture passages as I want, but without discernment and conviction from the Holy Spirit, I might as well not have read them at all.
Pastor Chet said tonight that in the first century, if 95% of the Spirit left the church, the church would fall apart. But if 95% of the Spirit left the church today, we would still press on. We would continue with our meaningless programs, our ridiculous list of events that are absolutely hollow without Jesus in them.
I have lost what it means to be lead by the Spirit. I have slipped into a lapse of reason instead of pure passion fired by Jesus. I have let my head get too wrapped up in matters of the Spirit. Sometimes, okay, most times, my head won’t comprehend what God has to say. I wasn’t built with the capacity to understand how God was there before there was anything. I can’t understand that He holds time and isn’t bound by time. I don’t get how He can stay the same day after day after day without changing. And I don’t get how Someone so perfect and holy in and of Himself would choose to even spend time concerned with the details of my life. My mind doesn’t get it. But I must have faith that it’s true. Matters of the Spirit aren’t always matters of the mind.
I can’t box God up. I can’t discover God based upon the experiences of others. I can’t simply accept society’s view of God. I have to make this journey my own. He desires for me to know Him as intimately as He knows me. I was made to worship and I was made to bring Him the glory.
Honestly, Chelsea, you just gotta believe.
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