I worshipped....
my job.
school/homework.
food.
Not God.
He wasn't first.
He was on a shelf and He belongs on a throne.
I know that in my heart, but it doesn't translate in my life.
I blame myself.
I feel guilty, I feel human.
I feel guilty that I'm human.
I can't do it on my own. I can't will it on my own.
I can't do it on my own.
How long will it take for surrender?
Why is it so hard for me to understand?
I want it. I do.
But I don't get it.
What did you worship today?
Jan 31, 2010
Jan 30, 2010
Open Letter to Mr. Right
Where will I meet you? Perhaps I’ve already met you. What will you look like? What are your passions? What are your fears? Your goals, your dreams?
I can’t wait to see what an amazing love story God will unfold for us. The hard thing is keeping Him as our number one, even when we meet and fall crazy in love for each other.
Things have been really weird for me lately. I’ve been kind of on a journey to “re-discovering” what I believe and why I believe it. College has taught me not to accept all the facts presented at face value. I’m learning to own up to my faith instead of just believing it because that’s what I’m supposed to do.
Wonder what God’s teaching you now. I pray that He is growing you into a man after His own heart that will be an amazing leader in our relationship. I think He gives us young adults this waiting period to mold us like never before. This is a time in life where transformation is frequent and new opportunities abound. We can focus on building a relationship that will truly last for eternity, our relationship with Christ. Being free from a dating relationship has given me time to reconsider my priorities and get back on track.
Well, I don’t know. I was just thinking about you and wanted to let you know.
Can’t wait to meet, my love.
Jan 29, 2010
Come, my wayward daughter.
The other night I opened my Bible to Jeremiah 29:11. I was praying about purpose and God’s will and getting back on track, so I thought that was the perfect place to turn. I read the verse and just kept reading through the book, discovering little nuggets of encouragement.
My absolute favorite discovery of the night was Jeremiah 31:18-22.
NLT:
18 I have heard Israel saying,
‘You disciplined me severely,
like a calf that needs training for the yoke.
Turn me again to you and restore me,
for you alone are the LORD my God.
19 I turned away from God,
but then I was sorry.
I kicked myself for my stupidity!
I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.’
20 “Is not Israel still my son,
my darling child?” says the LORD.
“I often have to punish him,
but I still love him.
That’s why I long for him
and surely will have mercy on him.
21 Set up road signs;
put up guideposts.
Mark well the path
by which you came.
Come back again, my virgin Israel;
return to your towns here.
22 How long will you wander,
my wayward daughter?
For the LORD will cause something new to happen—
Israel will embrace her God.[b]”
My heart couldn’t contain my joy. It described perfectly my recent journey back to my Father’s heart. I had turned from God and was discouraged when I saw how far I’d departed. I asked for restoration and reminded myself that He should be my only God.
And then God…and then God shows up in a big way and reminds me that He still loves me. He still longs for me. He will have mercy on me. He asks me to “come back” and return to what I know is the only way. I love how He says, “Come back, my virgin Israel.” I think virgin was there on purpose. Israel had been wondering and pursuing other gods, yet He still identifies the nation as “virgin,” or pure. How awesome that God sees us like that even when we’ve totally screwed up.
But this has got to be the best part, “How long will you wander, my wayward daughter? I will cause something new to happen- Israel will embrace her God.”
OH MY GOODNESS! I don’t know why this verse has spoken to me so much. I guess it’s cause I just got stuck in a rut and I felt like the same things were happening over and over and no matter how hard I tried I just kept going the wrong direction. YET, God offers promise for my future, well promise for my now. “I will cause something new to happen- [Chelsea] will embrace her God.”
I think the thing is that HE will cause something new to happen. I can’t force something to happen that God doesn’t will. I’ve been trying to do it on my own, and you just can’t have a relationship with someone when it’s one-sided.
“[Chelsea] will embrace her God.” I felt a little bold replacing Israel with my own name, but God was speaking right at me, saying, “Yeah, you messed up. You left me for other gods. You abandoned the very faith that used to be your stronghold. But, there is hope, Chelsea. There is hope, my daughter. Things are going to start happening. I’m gonna change your heart. And soon enough, you’re gonna embrace me instead of run from me.”
And ever since that night a few days ago, I’ve struggled, as everyone does with keeping God first, above everything else. And every time I hear that voice in my head when I contemplate and wonder why I would even bother trying so hard… “Come, my wayward daughter. It’s time, time to embrace your God.”
Isn’t He the best?
My absolute favorite discovery of the night was Jeremiah 31:18-22.
NLT:
18 I have heard Israel saying,
‘You disciplined me severely,
like a calf that needs training for the yoke.
Turn me again to you and restore me,
for you alone are the LORD my God.
19 I turned away from God,
but then I was sorry.
I kicked myself for my stupidity!
I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.’
20 “Is not Israel still my son,
my darling child?” says the LORD.
“I often have to punish him,
but I still love him.
That’s why I long for him
and surely will have mercy on him.
21 Set up road signs;
put up guideposts.
Mark well the path
by which you came.
Come back again, my virgin Israel;
return to your towns here.
22 How long will you wander,
my wayward daughter?
For the LORD will cause something new to happen—
Israel will embrace her God.[b]”
My heart couldn’t contain my joy. It described perfectly my recent journey back to my Father’s heart. I had turned from God and was discouraged when I saw how far I’d departed. I asked for restoration and reminded myself that He should be my only God.
And then God…and then God shows up in a big way and reminds me that He still loves me. He still longs for me. He will have mercy on me. He asks me to “come back” and return to what I know is the only way. I love how He says, “Come back, my virgin Israel.” I think virgin was there on purpose. Israel had been wondering and pursuing other gods, yet He still identifies the nation as “virgin,” or pure. How awesome that God sees us like that even when we’ve totally screwed up.
But this has got to be the best part, “How long will you wander, my wayward daughter? I will cause something new to happen- Israel will embrace her God.”
OH MY GOODNESS! I don’t know why this verse has spoken to me so much. I guess it’s cause I just got stuck in a rut and I felt like the same things were happening over and over and no matter how hard I tried I just kept going the wrong direction. YET, God offers promise for my future, well promise for my now. “I will cause something new to happen- [Chelsea] will embrace her God.”
I think the thing is that HE will cause something new to happen. I can’t force something to happen that God doesn’t will. I’ve been trying to do it on my own, and you just can’t have a relationship with someone when it’s one-sided.
“[Chelsea] will embrace her God.” I felt a little bold replacing Israel with my own name, but God was speaking right at me, saying, “Yeah, you messed up. You left me for other gods. You abandoned the very faith that used to be your stronghold. But, there is hope, Chelsea. There is hope, my daughter. Things are going to start happening. I’m gonna change your heart. And soon enough, you’re gonna embrace me instead of run from me.”
And ever since that night a few days ago, I’ve struggled, as everyone does with keeping God first, above everything else. And every time I hear that voice in my head when I contemplate and wonder why I would even bother trying so hard… “Come, my wayward daughter. It’s time, time to embrace your God.”
Isn’t He the best?
Jan 25, 2010
Because Everyone Needs a Good Laugh on a Monday...
and because this gets me laughing every time I see it : )
Jan 24, 2010
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
What irritates me is that people are so focused on looking younger that they forget that being older isn’t a curse, but a blessing! How many people can say they’ve lived 60, 70, 80 years of life and have experience and knowledge to pass onto others who have yet to travel down those roads? Our culture is missing the most important piece of the puzzle- the older generation. They’re the ones we should be looking up to.
- “Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would your own father.” -1 Timothy 5:1
- “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” -Proverbs 16:31
Let’s not devalue the elderly because they don’t fit the stereotype for the “ideal citizen.” Let’s recognize their strengths and learn from their lives. Most importantly, let’s appreciate the contributions they have made to society and continue to make.
Who knows if that smile of yours could brighten up their lonely day. Or maybe God’s calling you to spend some time with that neighbor across the street. What if you gave an elderly individual the time of day to really have a conversation with you, instead of simply exchanging cordial greetings?
It’s time for a little more respect, wouldn’t you agree?
I used to think the sun was evil...
A lot of things have been happening lately. Besides the start of the new semester and adjusting to a schedule change, I’ve also come out of the dark so to speak.
I’m gonna go off on a tangent (I know what you’re thinking- already? lol), but it will all make sense in the end, so bear with me. Hopefully you’ve seen the movie Benchwarmers because you will understand where I’m coming from with this. An awkward yet hilarious character by the name of Howie is depicted throughout the entire movie as being 1.) afraid of the sun (natural light) and 2.) afraid of most people.
Now, I can relate to the first one, but not so much the second. These past few months I’ve been afraid of the Light. It was like I enjoyed not caring about my relationship with Christ, even though I knew that’s what was making me miserable. I searched, yet I rejected truth that I found. I read, but felt no need to take heart or apply what I was reading. It was a constant battle. I knew what I should be doing, but for some reason, I didn’t want to do it. I was happy being unhappy, which was REALLY weird for me, because I’m not normally like that…I’m sure most of you know that.
Anyway, I was afraid to go back to the Light. I guess I was more ashamed or embarrassed that if I did, He wouldn’t want me. It was like if I did run to Him, I would be “giving up” or “giving in” because I wasn’t strong enough on my own.
Gradually, as I began to realize that I obviously couldn’t live this life on my own, I began seeking His face once again in little ways. Maybe a Christian book here. A prayer there. Some scripture if I felt like it. Nothing hard core, to say the least. And, I’m still not back to where I want to be, where I used to be. You know that old saying, “If you’re not moving forward, you’re sliding backwards.”? I figured (in this period of darkness) that if I wasn’t moving forward, I would just stay in my place. WRONG.
Praise God for mercy and grace, for everlasting love that sees past my stupidity and embraces my potential. I am forever indebted to my wonderful Savior who took my life and once again reminded me of redemption, a gift so sweet that each time it really sinks in, I can hardly believe it myself.
In Howie’s words, “I used to think the sun was evil, but now I know it’s not.” : )
I’m gonna go off on a tangent (I know what you’re thinking- already? lol), but it will all make sense in the end, so bear with me. Hopefully you’ve seen the movie Benchwarmers because you will understand where I’m coming from with this. An awkward yet hilarious character by the name of Howie is depicted throughout the entire movie as being 1.) afraid of the sun (natural light) and 2.) afraid of most people.
Now, I can relate to the first one, but not so much the second. These past few months I’ve been afraid of the Light. It was like I enjoyed not caring about my relationship with Christ, even though I knew that’s what was making me miserable. I searched, yet I rejected truth that I found. I read, but felt no need to take heart or apply what I was reading. It was a constant battle. I knew what I should be doing, but for some reason, I didn’t want to do it. I was happy being unhappy, which was REALLY weird for me, because I’m not normally like that…I’m sure most of you know that.
Anyway, I was afraid to go back to the Light. I guess I was more ashamed or embarrassed that if I did, He wouldn’t want me. It was like if I did run to Him, I would be “giving up” or “giving in” because I wasn’t strong enough on my own.
Gradually, as I began to realize that I obviously couldn’t live this life on my own, I began seeking His face once again in little ways. Maybe a Christian book here. A prayer there. Some scripture if I felt like it. Nothing hard core, to say the least. And, I’m still not back to where I want to be, where I used to be. You know that old saying, “If you’re not moving forward, you’re sliding backwards.”? I figured (in this period of darkness) that if I wasn’t moving forward, I would just stay in my place. WRONG.
Praise God for mercy and grace, for everlasting love that sees past my stupidity and embraces my potential. I am forever indebted to my wonderful Savior who took my life and once again reminded me of redemption, a gift so sweet that each time it really sinks in, I can hardly believe it myself.
In Howie’s words, “I used to think the sun was evil, but now I know it’s not.” : )
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