That Guy Named Jacob

So, in my devotions, I'm plugging through the book of Genesis.  I must admit...I've never read the Old Testament in its entirety, and when God asked me to do that, I was half excited, half bored.  Something about "conquering" the Old Testament seemed like quite a task.  Trying to understand all the customs, and culture, and law, and contexts, and geography to get the true meaning in each story seemed a little overwhelming. 

Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous.  People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing.  Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking.  Do you ever do that?

Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently.  I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.

Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man.  In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20).  Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help."  Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.

Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength."  Or what he thought was strength.  True strength comes through submission.  How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority?  I think we can all take a stab at that answer.  Of course it's harder to submit than to assert!  Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).

Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength.  Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God?  I know God gets a kick out of it.  It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human.  It's impossible.  That wee little ant will never overcome me.  Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.

Jacob persisted- he didn't give up.  But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him."  He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26).  It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle.  God, bless me!  Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it.  We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!!  In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring. 

But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9).  He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27).  In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name.  It's character.  It's image.  It's conduct.  A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual.  God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was.  Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter."  He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go.  But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned.  He offered hope. 

"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed."  When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament.  "You are Simon the son of Jonah.  You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God."  Simon became Cephas, "A Stone."  A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal.  Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"!  That's quite a change in status.  From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power. 

When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17).  I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible.  Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him.  He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions.  Everything.  I just wonder what He wants to call me.  Right now, I'm Chelsea.  I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea.  But what will I be when I'm fully transformed?  "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).

I've Got You

I love hearing that...don't you?  I was walking back into my dorm building the other day and someone was holding the door..."Come on in, I've got you." It's that feeling of assurance.  I remember walking up the stairs, thinking...that's quite possibly one of my favorite phrases.

It's even better when it comes out of His mouth.  Life is just plain crazy. It's busy. It's messy. It's not what I expected it to be this year at Nova.  It's not how I envisioned it playing out.  But, what's so wrong about that?

Pastor Don McClure spoke this weekend at Calvary Chapel on Abraham's willingness and faith to sacrifice Issac.  I have to admit..when he said Genesis 22 and started talking about the story, I was thinking, "Oh, another sermon on sacrifice.  I've heard this before."  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Doesn't it consistently amuse you that God can take something you've heard 1,000 times over and make it fresh and new? 

Pastor Don said Abraham went out in faith when he left his country.  He stayed out in faith, even when the going got tough.  But, the ultimate test- 50 years into his journey with Christ- was when he was asked to sacrifice his son.  God asks us, "Am I more precious than any promise I've ever given?"  Ouch. 

God says He loves me.  Yes, I praise you, God!  God says He forgives me of my sin.  Yes, I praise you, God!  God says He will provide all I need.  Yes, I praise you, God!  He says He is preparing a place for me for eternity.  Praise God!  He says He will fight my battles for me.  Praise God!  He says He will hear me and answer my prayers.  Praise Him!  He says He wants to know what I will do for Him....



Do I love Him because of who He is, or because of what He does?  I never want to be a person with what I call a "Medicine Bottle God."  Take Him when you need Him, but when you're feeling fine, just forget about Him.  No.  But, what am I willing to give?  Everything I have in this world?  My most precious promises?  Give all that up in immediate obedience?  I pray that is my response to anything He asks of me. 

1 John 4:15-16 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but is of the world.  And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 

God has reassured me time and time again with those sweet words- "I've got you." He's blessed me with blessings I come nowhere near close to deserving.  Yet, when He asks me what I will sacrifice, my mind doesn't go to the thing that will cost me the most.  There's lots of growing left for this girl, because my mind goes to something manageable, something I think I can give to Him that won't cost too, too much.  Yes, God, I'm willing to sacrifice...a little sleep.  a little money.  a little food.  Really?  A little?  Is it really a sacrifice, then?

Psalm 27 encouraged me this morning.


4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,

That will I seek: (It takes a seeking, determined, committed heart...)
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD, (though that's an impossible task!)
And to inquire in His temple.


5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.  (Did you catch those promises?)


6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; (See the sacrifice?  A joful one, at that!)
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD. 


8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (See the desire of his heart?)

13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the LORD (See the eternal focus?  Where does his help come from?)
In the land of the living. 


14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD! (Hear the excitement in his testimony?  I can just see David saying...Wait, I dare you!  See what my God will do!)

I once heard a pastor say, "Sometimes the most active and agressive step of faith you can take is to patiently wait." I feel like I'm somewhere in between Abraham's second and third stage.  God's asking me to stay out in faith.  Staying out is harder than going out, because staying out requires adjustment when your expectations aren't met.  Staying out requires a steadfast heart that's willing to wait, after all the excitement and newness has worn off.  But, I also feel like God is asking me now...Okay, Chelsea. You've been walking with me for a while, and I've shown you time and time again testimonies of my faithfulness.  We've done the whole step-out-on-faith-and-watch-Me-move-mountains-and-do-a lot-with-your-little.  We've done the whole mountain top experience thing.  I've lavishly demonstrated my grace, my mercy, my unconditional love, my holiness to you.  How do you reflect that? 

Too often I forget that I have the privilege of encountering a holy, holy God who has no obligation to reveal even a glimpse of His glory.  Even if He did nothing for me but create me, He would be worthy of my praise because that's just who He is.  He's worthy.  But, the fact is that He chooses to not only reveal Himself, but reveal Himself in a personal and intimate way.  He chooses to speak directly to me....to me!  He witholds NOTHING.  So, why do I hold onto the things that don't even matter in the end?

"I've got you," He says.  The question is not a matter of God's forgiveness and love, but of my faithfulness and commitment. "I've got you," He says, "but, do you have me?"

Then Who Could Ever Stop Us?

Well, the end is near. In fact, it’s only two days away. I still can’t get over how fast it went by, now that I’m looking back at all that God has done since I’ve been in Brazil. When we first got here, the interns were trying to explain to us how it would all seem like one long week- almost like a dream. At first, I dismissed them as crazy, but now I know exactly what they’re talking about!


This week is our “sending off” week, where we are being prepared and equipped to go out into the world and preach Jesus. How appropriate that we are studying the book of Acts. It is filled with stories of imperfect people, delighting the heart of God, by doing acts of ministry through the power of His Spirit. And, that’s what each of us is called to do. I think we have a tendency to forget that- at least I do. My purpose on earth is to glorify God by doing works through His Spirit. Just doing good works doesn’t cut it.

Pastor Chet said today…so what if you built a house? If you built a house for someone and didn’t preach Jesus along the way and plant seeds, it’s all worthless because they’re still going to hell! Too often, the church gets focused on social work and not on preaching Christ. The social work is to open a door for preaching Christ- we don’t do it just to do it. We do these acts of service to share the love of Christ with others. We get so busy doing that we forget why we do what we do.

And, I try it all on my own. What Christ calls us to do, the way He calls us to live, is impossible in my own strength. I struggle and strive until I finally rely on Him to do what He said He would do from the beginning.

Instead, I want to be known for a reputation of faith. You see, in Acts 9:30, Saul is sent to Tarsus after his conversion. He is sent away for a time of spiritual growth and building. He had a reputation of cruelty for Christians, but it would become a reputation of love for Christ. This short season of time, Paul was invested into, and he was set apart to pursue God and prepare for ministry. In the same way, God “exiled me” to the “island of Patmos for the Word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9).

I was too puffed up with me, too full of myself, and God had no room. I could ask God to fill me all I want, but if there isn’t any room, He won’t come in. These three months have broken me and shown me just how far off the radar I am when it comes to my faith in Christ. Praise God for His grace and mercy! He didn’t give up on me, instead, He called me to Patmos to rebuild on a firm foundation. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 says, “We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But, whoever loves God, this one is known by Him.” I thought I knew it all. In reality, I knew nothing, because I didn’t build upon love.

No matter what I do, it must be rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. My motivations were off, my heart was prideful, and I thought it was okay. It definitely wasn’t. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). I don’t know about you, but the words “abhor” and “cling” sound like strong action words to me. Whatever is not of God, I must hate. I must cast it as far away from me as possible. And whatever is of God, that, I must cling to with every last ounce of energy that I have in my body. Those are two polar opposites, and one cannot be done with the other.

There’s no more riding the fence. Paul knew the Scriptures, but he didn’t live them. His conversion and time in Tarsus built him up so that in Acts 11, Barnabus (“the son of encouragement”) sought Paul “that for a whole year they assembled with the church AND TAUGHT a great many people. And the disciples were first called Christians” (Acts 11:26). After Paul learned, he spread the knowledge and the Word. He taught others the revelations that God spoke to Him in His time of seclusion. That’s what God has also called me to do.

I have been built up, not for my own edification, but for the edification of the body. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my team here at Patmos, it’s that we need each other to survive. It’s the same with the body of Christ. We all have to show up, and we all have to contribute our gifts and talents.

“4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:4-8)

In this way, we fulfill what Christ calls us to do at the beginning of Romans, chapter 12: “present your bodies a living sacrifice” (v. 1). “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) If we aren’t ours in the first place, why do we still live as if we are?

The tide has changed, and I pray that God will continue to keep my heart set steadfastly on pursuing Him and Him alone. It’s not that He will fail in His promises, it’s that I might fail in my responsibility. If I seek Him, He will be there. But, I must purpose to seek Him above all, regardless of the circumstances and situations that surround me. I must “set my face like a flint, and know that I will not be ashamed. He is near who justifies me; who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near me.” (Isaiah 50:7-8).

“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?”

Contentment in the Crazy

4 weeks left here in Brazil. Crazy, isn’t it? Seems like only yesterday I was bawling my eyes out in the airport while saying goodbye to my parents…I’ll never outgrow that, I don’t think!

My time here so far has been one of extremes. Extreme growth. Extreme emotions. Extreme chaos and confusion inside. Extreme understanding. Extreme lessons. Extreme challenges.

The more I’m here, the more I realize the importance of having my team for support. This week, we studied the book of Philippians. Paul wrote it while in jail. Here’s this guy who has all the reason in the world to have a bad attitude. Yet, he doesn’t. Content in his circumstances, he chooses to encourage fellow brethren instead of dwell on his own situation and emotions. What an example.

We lived out the book of Philippians this week. While I can’t go into details, I can say that I gained much greater insight and a respect for Paul’s position and hope to one day achieve the same mindset he had.

That’s one thing I’ve craved since the day I’ve been here. The word that keeps coming to mind is immovable. Unshakeable and undeterred from my direction. I hope to become a woman so set on Christ that the circumstances around me have no influence on my attitude and behavior. The other day, I was studying and ran across this verse in Acts 20:24- "But none of these things move me; nor do I  count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." I think I found my life verse : )

Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” If I’ve truly been crucified with Christ, my flesh doesn’t exist. My earthly desires are put to rest for a heavenly gain that cannot be beat. But, I find myself still living for the pleasures of this world- for comfort and for security that don’t last. If I’ve been put to death, then nothing should shake me, because I’m dead already! What can the world do to me? How can Satan defeat me? He can’t, I’m dead already.

Contentment seems so easy to discuss when everything’s going good. It’s so easy to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It’s even easy to claim that you will say that when bad times come around. But the true test is when the bad times do come around. Is that really what you say? Is that really what your heart overflows with…praise?

I wish I could say I’m there, but I’m definitely not. God is growing me a lot in this sense, and I’m learning to become more flexible, more at ease when everything is crazy. Don’t get me wrong- I’m nowhere near Paul’s attitude, but the first step in correcting it is to recognize it.

The biggest sign to me was when the challenge this week was called off. Many of our faces changed from faces of sadness to faces of joy. Shouldn’t it be purely joy the whole time? James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, making you perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Count it ALL joy? Our faces didn’t reflect that, yet they should have. If I really trust the God behind that promise, I would count it all joy. The testing of my faith produces patience. Patience makes me perfect and complete. I lack nothing. Nothing. Why would I trade temporary satisfaction for lack? I shouldn’t.

Do you see what I’m saying? What will we choose to do in the midst of our trials? Will we choose to dwell in our circumstances, with negativity and pessimism? Or, will we choose an attitude of joy, remembering that Christ has us where we’re at for a specific reason? This all sounds so cliché, and that’s not where I wanted it to go, but it’s what God laid on my heart. For once, I feel like I’m really TRYING to live it out.

He has ordained all of our days. He goes before us and prepares the way. Why do we have reason to fear? He will not give us anything we cannot handle. Why are we afraid?

This coming week is supposedly one of the hardest weeks in Patmos. I’m not gonna lie- I’m nervous. Yes, you heard me. Here I am proclaiming the truth of God’s presence, yet scared of what lies ahead. And that’s exactly what the problem has been the whole time in my life. Instead of trusting God to do what He says He will do, I make my own plans and decisions. I should be waiting on the Lord, but somehow I’ve tricked myself into thinking that if I’m “in control” of the situation, it’s better because I “know” what’s up ahead. In reality, the more I lose control, the better off it is.

So, what has God been teaching you lately? How has He been molding and shaping you? Anyone else’s toes a little bruised? Yikes…but “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).

Brazil Update Numero Dois : )

So I haven't posted any pictures since I've been here!  Here are a few from the beginning until now...leaving out some, but you get the idea.  I need to start snapping some more, though!  Enjoy these few...

Plane ride...view of Sao Paulo

A little trail at the camp where I spend Patmos Time : )

Brazilian Sunset

Evidence of what we call "vampire bugs"...enough said.

We have all sorts of animals running around the camp!

Downtown Ron Don

The pictures above are all from our Brazilian steak dinner at the Ron Don Moto Club.  YUM!

Tortinhas.  Lime Cookies.  Best thing since sliced bread...no, seriously- this is my favorite snack here!

Ouside of our host home in Ron Don.

My sidekick Diana and I after a refreshing shower.

Camila (left of me) and her Mom with Diana...they were our host family. 

Brazilians are extremely hospitable- I cannot even begin to tell you how welcome they made us feel!  I learned so much about selfless love from them and hope to exten the same hospitality to others that  they offered to me.

Iguacu Falls

God is so good.  He decided He'd throw a rainbow up for a perfect day at the falls.

Jump for joy.

Love this picture (Hipstamatic app on iPhone for most of these)

Tempted by the tourist hats

Butterflies everywhere here.  Beautiful!

Brazilian Steakhouse after the Falls.

Having a little fun with the chefs.

My Paraguay Indian friend...like my headdress?

They were selling all sorts of bags, jewlery, musical instruments, and other handcrafted items.

More to come as soon as time allows : )  Love and miss you all.

Quick Update from Brazil : )

Hellooo, long lost blog friends! How I’ve missed you all over the past few weeks! I can’t believe it’s already been a month here at Patmos. To tell you I’ve been stretched beyond what I can handle is an understatement. Signing up for this discipleship program, I never realized just how intense it would be. At the same time, seeing how weak I am is revealing to me just how powerful Christ can be in me, if I choose to live in His strength rather than mine.


I would be lying if I told you it’s been all fun and games. My weeks here are filled with mixed emotions- excitement about what I have the opportunity to learn, fear about what is to come, and a longing to be home with family and friends…back in my comfort zone.

This is exactly where God wants me, though- outside of the realm of typical life. Pastor Chet said the first week that Patmos is normally for those stubborn enough to try on their own instead of letting God do the work He wants to do in the first place. Guilty, as charged. Doesn’t it seem like you know better than Him? Deep down, I know it’s a lie from Satan, but losing control seems scarier than maintaining it.

We’ve been challenged to get in the Word and hide it in our hearts. We have memory verses each day and must know them. I am learning what it means to truly meditate upon the Word, and I find that whenever I review a verse, God reveals something new and different about it that I never got before. It’s amazing how God can create a new experience each time with just a few words from Him. Without giving away information that I’m not supposed to, let’s just say that if you don’t know your verses, it hurts…physically and emotionally. It can not only affect you personally, but also your teammates. That happened to me today. I was off by one word for my verse. I suffered, and the team suffered with me. I felt horrible and blamed myself that everyone had to go through it. It was my fault. But, I wouldn’t have learned what I’m about to share.

The verse I had to recite was 1 Corinthians 2:9-10, “But as it is written, ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us THROUGH His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” I replaced the word “through” with the word “by.” I know what you’re probably thinking- that’s not really a big deal. But, when I thought about it, it was major conviction personally. That’s exactly what happens to me…I don’t work THROUGH the power of the Holy Spirit, I work on my own strength with the Holy Spirit BY me. He’s only my Helper when I specifically give Him access. Just like when I recited my verse. I never stopped to ask the Lord to help me, instead I relied on my studying and mental abilities to carry me through. That obviously failed. Slowly, I’m learning to change. God has to be my Everything all the time, not only when I feel like it.

That’s another thing that God’s been convicting me of lately. I realized just how consumed I am by my feelings and the circumstances around me. I allow what’s happening to determine my attitude, instead of focusing on the unwavering hope offered in Christ. “This hope we have an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters in the Presence behind the veil…” (Hebrews 6:19). Hope in the Lord draws me into His presence, and if that’s where I reside, I have no reason to fear or fret. Psalm 46 has been my theme here lately. When I feel like giving in because of all that is happening to me and around me, I remember:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.


There are many other lessons I could tell, but time just doesn’t permit. I can’t wait to share many more with you once I get the opportunity to see you at home. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the blog or emails, as I promised I would. I never realized how little time I would have to do so, and our email accounts make it difficult to start a list for updates.

Lastly, I cannot stress how truly thankful I am for all of the encouraging words and prayers you are sending me. You have no idea how those acts of kindness hit me at just the right time and remind me of the purpose in the midst of the confusion.

This rare occasion to write made my day : ) Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Seek hard after Him, “…for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).