this is me

Mar 5, 2010

All or Nothing

I'm gonna love Him with everything I've got. With every breath, every word. Every thought, every dream. Every moment of time spent on this earth. I'm gonna love Him with everything I've got. That's when I'll know Him. Because God is love. And love is good.

Mar 3, 2010

Don't Believe In, Believe

Eikon was AWESOME tonight! I don't even know how to describe how pumped I feel right now. A 22-year-old guy, Ben, spoke on *drumroll please*..................................................purpose. I know- you wouldn't have guessed, right? Seems to be the topic of many of our "conversations" lately.

First thing out of his mouth- What are you doing with your life? When we are asked that question, we would much rather avoid it at all costs, but it's a question that needs to be answered. He made an excellent point in saying that life isn't made up of yesterdays or made up of tomorrows, but of todays. We can't go back, and we can't go forward (nor do we know how much longer we even have here), but we do have today- we have each day that we can live for and really make it count. But, are we doing it? He said that his goal this year was to milk every moment out of every day, and at the end of each day be able to say "I made the most. I did amazing things for God today."

I hate to just regurgitate what he said, but I also hate to just not share...so, here it goes.

God's promises aren't for window shoppers. We can believe in God's promises all we want. We can take a piece of Scripture in the morning and think, "Well that's a pretty promise! Look how pretty that is." It's not going to do us any good. Yeah, maybe as nice house decorations or good FB statuses, but those pretty promises don't mean a thing. We can't just believe in them, we have to believe them- own them. When God says He will provide, we have to trust that promise and not worry. When God says He will restore us, we have to trust that promise and wait for restoration. The promise is pointless if we don't own up to it.
You may have sunk, but at least you walked on water. This is when he started talking about Matthew 14:22-33, where Peter walks out to Jesus on the water. I'm sure you know the drill- Peter takes his eyes off of Christ, and he sinks. But he walked on water. He walked on water! We can be living in God's dreams for us, and mess up. But at least we're living out His dreams. We can fail a thousand times over, but at least we're getting back up and trying. It's when we give up on His dreams that we have to be concerned.
Don't focus on the size of your waves, but on the size of your God. Dream big. It's not about us. If we could do it on our own, we wouldn't need Jesus. If we could do it on our own, we would be basking in all our glory, instead of giving Christ the glory He deserves. Instead of looking around and comparing yourself to others, look to Christ. When that thought comes in your mind that says, "You'll never be good enough to do that," or "Is that even possible?" remember who you serve. If you look everywhere but to Christ, you'll sink. But if you really keep Him as your focus, you'll be doing things that will blow you away!

Of course, during the Q&A session, the whole "life calling" question came up, and once again...answer confirmed : ) Ben said if Christ is your focus and He is truly number one in your life, then His plans become your plans, His dreams- yours. If you're seeking after Him with everything you've got, then do what you love. Do what you love! We're only here for a split second, and we're gone. We've got to grab hold of the opportunities that lie within our reach. When you get to heaven, what will you say you've done with your time? What will I say I've done? God put these desires in our hearts so that we can pursue what we love and glorify Him. He wants us to love life and to live it to the fullest. How will you do that today?

P.S. "It's not my ability, but my response to God's ability that counts." -Corrie Ten Boom

You Never Let Go

Well, these past few days feel like one big wad of emotions that I'm still trying to untangle. I've experienced the mountain peaks, but not without a few lows (not quite valley style, but not exactly cloud 9 either!).

I always do this. When I have exams, or a lot of schoolwork all at once, I get super stressed out. No fail. Every single time. And I hate it when I do that. Not only is it ridiculous because I've been through it before and have learned that God is more than capable of providing the motivation and strength to get through it, but I also feel like I'm setting a bad example. I think about how both Christians and non-Christians are looking at my life to see how I react to things. The very thing I'm "preaching" one day could make no sense the next when I don't live it out. I hate being hypocritical.

I say that Christ will provide and that He is enough, and that He gives ultimate peace. And I believe it- with all my heart, I do. I really do. But, when things get overwhelming, it's like I just throw that whole concept to the wind and think, "Poor me. How will I ever get through? This is next to impossible." Unbelievers who know me and know what I'm about have to be thinking...if she knows God, why is she so worried? If she knows God, why is she so impatient today? Ouch.

Well, right in the midst of my worries and right in the midst of my not-so-Christlike attitude, God decided that He would restore me with His words. As I've said before, Psalm 139 is one of my favorite Scripture passages, maybe my most favorite, though it's kind of hard to narrow that down- don't ya think? Anyway, I read through that Scripture with entirely new eyes. I don't know what it was, but it became fresh all over again.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Have you really looked? No- not at your imperfections, but your "wonderfully complex" self. I was brushing my teeth after I read this passage, and I looked at my eyes and thought...wow, those are incredible. Okay- you probably think I'm a psycho right now, so I want you to a. Find a mirror and b. Check out your eyes. Seriously. Go do it. This blog isn't going anywhere : ) Really look at them and think about how they work. Think about the way they process information and how light reflects on them so you can see. I don't know the whole scientific aspect, but I do know that our eyes are just one breathtaking part of our "wonderfully complex" bodies that Christ gave us.

If it was up to me, we would all be 2-D stick figures walking around looking somewhat similar. How grateful I am that God took the time to think about what we would look like and how our bodies would function. Seriously- our brains. They are insane. They tell us to breathe without us even consciously thinking about it. Now that, I'm very grateful for : ).

So, I was reading this passage and thinking that not only did God take great care in "knitting me" together in my mother's womb, but He also did it for every other person that has ever lived. Each unique in their own way. God knit me and you and everyone in the world together!

I checked out the word "knit" in the dictionary...."to tie or link together; join closely and firmly; to form or create from diverse sources or elements; become closely and intimately united; bind, link, unite." I never thought of it this way before, but when God was knitting me together, was He also knitting my heart to His? Were we becoming "closely and intimately united" even in the moments of my creation? I love to think so. Don't you just eat up that visual?!

Then I read Isaiah 46:3-4, "Listen to me, descendents of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until you hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you."

Don't know if you got the memo- but God cared, cares, and will care for us. He carried and will carry us. Oh, and not to mention, He's busy saving us, too.

I am so thankful for a God who never lets go. I love that worship song "You Never Let Go." I let go of His promises at times when I need them the most. I let go of the words that I proclaimed the day before. I let go of my Christ-like attitude at times. But, I know that no matter how far I run or how bad I mess up, He never lets go. Never lets go of me. Tough times, easy times. Dark times, light times. Never lets go of the plans He made for me. He sees me and He holds me and He saves me.