My problem isn't that I act impulsively or irrationally. It's that I don't act at all. Once she pointed that out, I realized that it is one of the major stressors in my day-to-day life. I face a problem, evaluate the options, and leave the decision for later because choosing just seems too hard. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I contantly review my pro and con lists, never reaching a conclusion.
It's because I'm afraid to fail. I will do anything it takes to do it right. I don't want to mess up. Let's be honest. Does anyone? But, I've come to realize these past few weeks, what's worse...moving and messing up, or not moving at all? Doesn't the risk attached to the step of faith pay off in the end?
Roll with me here. I step out on faith and mess up. God redeems it and teaches me in the process, if I'm truly seeking His will. Or, I stay where I am and stress out. Nothing gets accomplished, and I'm an emotional wreck.
I can remember even as a kid, the indecision I faced with something as simple as ordering at a restaurant. When I couldn't make up my mind, I'd just give the server three options and tell her, "Surprise me!"
No one can make the daily decisions I face now. I can't just throw in the towel and say "Surprise me!" (Though God does like to do that sometimes!) The Lord has blessed me- yes, BLESSED me- with the ability to choose. Instead of seeing it as a burden, I am learning to see it as one more opportunity to lean on Him.
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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
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