Happy Birthday to Me

The countdown is on.  This time, it's not for my birthday to begin, but for it to come to an end.  This year I am 21.  That feels so weird to say.  I feel like a little girl trapped in a young woman's body, like I'm really supposed to be turning 12, not twenty-something.

All I have to say is "Wow, God.  You blow me away."  This whole day I have been completely overwhelmed by the words of encouragement and simple birthday wishes and love that everyone has blessed me with.  From 12 AM last night until late this evening, my phone's been ringing off the hook with phone calls, texts, and Facebook notifications.

Each year is just another reminder of how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many people I am fortunate to call my friends and family.  That's the best birthday gift I could ever have, and I'm not being cliche about that.

God so happened to place a part of Psalm 139 (my favorite Psalm) in my devotion this morning.  What a way to start off the day!  He surely knew how that would tickle me... He does know our heart's desires, after all : )

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them." 

Isn't that beautiful?  I love knowing that my Creator was a part of forming the intricate details of who I am.  Nothing about me is a mistake.  Not my height.  Not my width (haha ; ). Not my curly hair.  Or my flat feet.  He knew what I would be, before I even was.  And He loved me even then.  And He loves me even now. 

I think the word picture in verse 13 is breathtaking- "You covered me in my mother's womb."  I just get this vision of Christ encircling me with His arms, holding me, just as a momma does when she rocks her newborn.  Can you see Him examining the tiny fingers and toes?  Can you hear Him whisper His sweet love?  Can you picture the deep sigh He takes when He says, "This is good"? 

And David says right after, "I will praise You." 

You see, God delights in His creation.  He loves me and He loves you, with a love that we will never understand.  He loves to love, regardless of our devotion to Him.  Crazy, I know.  But, when we recognize that love, the response is immediate worship and adoration.  When we get a grip of God's passion for us, we can't help but return the emotion.  When I recognize that Christ covered me, even when I was in the process of being formed, I realize that there's nothing I can do to earn His love.  I realize that, just as He's held me from the beginning, He will continue to hold me for the rest of my days.  He's just that good.  And I'm just that blessed.  Happy birthday to me : )

The Mystery of Godliness

"The Christian life can only be explained in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you ­ your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything ­ then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it!

It is only when your quality of life baffles the neighbors that you are likely to impress them! It has got to become patently obvious to others that the kind of life you are living is not only commendable, but that it is beyond all human explanation! That it is beyond the consequences of man's capacity to imitate, and however little they may understand this, clearly the consequence only of God's capacity to reproduce Himself in you!

In a nutshell, this means that your fellow-men must become convinced that the Lord Jesus Christ of whom you speak, is essentially Himself the ingredient of the Life you live!"

Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness

Never Enough

No matter how hard I try, I will never be enough.  Not to anyone around me.  I can't please everyone, yet I try everyday. 

"For do I now persuade men or God, or do I seek to please men?  For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

I worry about attending this activity or that activity or saying no to one person and yes to another.  I get caught up in trying to make time for everyone, trying to give everyone my all, trying to meet everyone's needs.  Only One deserves my all.  But, I'm so busy giving everyone else my all, that He only gets a portion, when He's supposed to get the whole pie and divvy it out Himself in the first place. 

If you can't tell, I've been thinking a lot about priorities and how I spend my time, mainly because I can't seem to get enough of it (time) lately.  It's caused me to reexamine what I'm really doing and who I'm spending time with. 

God laid Mark 12:29-31 on my heart: Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment.  And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these.”

First things first.  Love God with everything I have in me.  Second things next.  Love others with the love of Christ. 

Instead of considering what I do according to my own reasoning, I should be asking God what He wants me to do.  God- do you think I should go to dinner with them?  God- what do YOU want me to do this weekend?  God- how do I waste time?  God- can you teach me how to use my time wisely?  Because "my time" isn't really "my time" in the first place, it's God's. 

That Guy Named Jacob

So, in my devotions, I'm plugging through the book of Genesis.  I must admit...I've never read the Old Testament in its entirety, and when God asked me to do that, I was half excited, half bored.  Something about "conquering" the Old Testament seemed like quite a task.  Trying to understand all the customs, and culture, and law, and contexts, and geography to get the true meaning in each story seemed a little overwhelming. 

Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous.  People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing.  Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking.  Do you ever do that?

Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently.  I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.

Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man.  In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20).  Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help."  Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.

Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength."  Or what he thought was strength.  True strength comes through submission.  How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority?  I think we can all take a stab at that answer.  Of course it's harder to submit than to assert!  Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).

Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength.  Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God?  I know God gets a kick out of it.  It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human.  It's impossible.  That wee little ant will never overcome me.  Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.

Jacob persisted- he didn't give up.  But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him."  He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26).  It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle.  God, bless me!  Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it.  We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!!  In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring. 

But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9).  He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27).  In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name.  It's character.  It's image.  It's conduct.  A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual.  God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was.  Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter."  He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go.  But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned.  He offered hope. 

"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed."  When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament.  "You are Simon the son of Jonah.  You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God."  Simon became Cephas, "A Stone."  A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal.  Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"!  That's quite a change in status.  From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power. 

When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17).  I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible.  Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him.  He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions.  Everything.  I just wonder what He wants to call me.  Right now, I'm Chelsea.  I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea.  But what will I be when I'm fully transformed?  "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).

I've Got You

I love hearing that...don't you?  I was walking back into my dorm building the other day and someone was holding the door..."Come on in, I've got you." It's that feeling of assurance.  I remember walking up the stairs, thinking...that's quite possibly one of my favorite phrases.

It's even better when it comes out of His mouth.  Life is just plain crazy. It's busy. It's messy. It's not what I expected it to be this year at Nova.  It's not how I envisioned it playing out.  But, what's so wrong about that?

Pastor Don McClure spoke this weekend at Calvary Chapel on Abraham's willingness and faith to sacrifice Issac.  I have to admit..when he said Genesis 22 and started talking about the story, I was thinking, "Oh, another sermon on sacrifice.  I've heard this before."  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Doesn't it consistently amuse you that God can take something you've heard 1,000 times over and make it fresh and new? 

Pastor Don said Abraham went out in faith when he left his country.  He stayed out in faith, even when the going got tough.  But, the ultimate test- 50 years into his journey with Christ- was when he was asked to sacrifice his son.  God asks us, "Am I more precious than any promise I've ever given?"  Ouch. 

God says He loves me.  Yes, I praise you, God!  God says He forgives me of my sin.  Yes, I praise you, God!  God says He will provide all I need.  Yes, I praise you, God!  He says He is preparing a place for me for eternity.  Praise God!  He says He will fight my battles for me.  Praise God!  He says He will hear me and answer my prayers.  Praise Him!  He says He wants to know what I will do for Him....



Do I love Him because of who He is, or because of what He does?  I never want to be a person with what I call a "Medicine Bottle God."  Take Him when you need Him, but when you're feeling fine, just forget about Him.  No.  But, what am I willing to give?  Everything I have in this world?  My most precious promises?  Give all that up in immediate obedience?  I pray that is my response to anything He asks of me. 

1 John 4:15-16 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but is of the world.  And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 

God has reassured me time and time again with those sweet words- "I've got you." He's blessed me with blessings I come nowhere near close to deserving.  Yet, when He asks me what I will sacrifice, my mind doesn't go to the thing that will cost me the most.  There's lots of growing left for this girl, because my mind goes to something manageable, something I think I can give to Him that won't cost too, too much.  Yes, God, I'm willing to sacrifice...a little sleep.  a little money.  a little food.  Really?  A little?  Is it really a sacrifice, then?

Psalm 27 encouraged me this morning.


4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,

That will I seek: (It takes a seeking, determined, committed heart...)
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD, (though that's an impossible task!)
And to inquire in His temple.


5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.  (Did you catch those promises?)


6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; (See the sacrifice?  A joful one, at that!)
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD. 


8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (See the desire of his heart?)

13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the LORD (See the eternal focus?  Where does his help come from?)
In the land of the living. 


14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD! (Hear the excitement in his testimony?  I can just see David saying...Wait, I dare you!  See what my God will do!)

I once heard a pastor say, "Sometimes the most active and agressive step of faith you can take is to patiently wait." I feel like I'm somewhere in between Abraham's second and third stage.  God's asking me to stay out in faith.  Staying out is harder than going out, because staying out requires adjustment when your expectations aren't met.  Staying out requires a steadfast heart that's willing to wait, after all the excitement and newness has worn off.  But, I also feel like God is asking me now...Okay, Chelsea. You've been walking with me for a while, and I've shown you time and time again testimonies of my faithfulness.  We've done the whole step-out-on-faith-and-watch-Me-move-mountains-and-do-a lot-with-your-little.  We've done the whole mountain top experience thing.  I've lavishly demonstrated my grace, my mercy, my unconditional love, my holiness to you.  How do you reflect that? 

Too often I forget that I have the privilege of encountering a holy, holy God who has no obligation to reveal even a glimpse of His glory.  Even if He did nothing for me but create me, He would be worthy of my praise because that's just who He is.  He's worthy.  But, the fact is that He chooses to not only reveal Himself, but reveal Himself in a personal and intimate way.  He chooses to speak directly to me....to me!  He witholds NOTHING.  So, why do I hold onto the things that don't even matter in the end?

"I've got you," He says.  The question is not a matter of God's forgiveness and love, but of my faithfulness and commitment. "I've got you," He says, "but, do you have me?"