To say that I'm grateful or thankful or overwhelmed or blow away by everyone's support doesn't even convey how I'm feeling right now. Words can't describe how unbelievably blessed I'm feeling by all the prayers and financial support. God is working in ways I never thought possible. Oh, me of little faith!
As of now, 1/3 of my trip is paid for! I received a call from Mr. Keith Thursday night saying that the youth group (at First Baptist Church of Lake Placid) is committed to raising $2,000 in support. I didn't quite know what to say besides, "Are you serious?" and "That's so awesome!!" Goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day : )
Wanna hear another cool story of God's provision? I had an appointment at 12:30 with the Passport Agency in Miami today. My passport has to be expedited in order to allow time to apply for my visa. After the one hour drive to downtown Miami and 10 minute drive around the parking garage (8th level parking- success lol), I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I went inside to check in, thinking this would take an hour at the most. I was wrong. There was an entire room, well, more like two rooms, filled with people who all had appointments and were waiting. (Just wondering Passport Agency...why make appointments when they don't really matter?)
Anyways, I went up to the window to check in. "Can I see your passport application, primary form of identification, secondary form of identification, two passport photos, and travel itinerary?" Whoa- talk about information overload. I began pulling documents out of my folder and handed them to the receptionist. Then, I opened my purse to get my driver's license only to discover I left it in the copier from the night before (they require copies of all this stuff, too!). Smart one, Chelsea. I was horrified. I think my face lost its color. I had just wrestled lunch hour traffic and checked for everything before I left, except for my license, of course! She said, "Since you have your previous passport, you might be able to use this as photo I.D., but it might not work because it is a minor passport. You will just have to wait and see who you get. The wait is two hours" My head starts spinning. Roommate gone on trip to NY. Other friends can't get into room without key. No time to drive back and forth because they shut the office doors at three and appointments can't be held. I decided to wait it out.
Immediately, I began praying- "God, I trust that You have everything under control and You work all things together for the good of those who are called according to your purpose. You do have a purpose for me at Patmos. Thank You for being the God who provides. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. Whom then shall I fear?" Right after that, I texted my prayer warriors for some serious interceding! If I didn't get the passport today, it would throw off my chance of getting the visa in time for the trip, which meant no Patmos this summer!
The two hour wait turned into two and a half. By the end of my time in that hard plastic chair, I had decided the government should invest in a cheerier paint color for their Passport Agency office. The gray was killing any hint of happy, especially with the security officers. Finally...NUMBER 126!!!! My heart kind of raced before I got to the window. I was walking and praying, walking and praying. I handed over my packet of documents and photos. She asked to see my Driver's License (of course), and I explained what I had done. "Well, do you have your social security card?" No 'mam. That's at my house in Lake Placid. "Where is Lake Placid?" lol...yeah I get that a lot. Needless to say, she ended up using a birth certificate and my minor passport and the copy of my driver's license ("I can make this work," she said). 5 minutes later, I was out of that drab gray office, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. Misison accomplished- God, You rock!
It was just one more opportunity for God to prove that He doesn't need little 'ole me to work out the details. Thank goodness, because I would fail miserably! Jehovah Jireh..."The Lord will provide." (Genesis 22:14). His provision isn't conditional upon my actions. He provides because He loves and because He can. I have a feeling that the Passport Agency won't be my only Jehovah Jireh on this adventure.
Apr 30, 2010
Apr 28, 2010
Calling All Prayer Warriors!
Okay! I was supposed to post this yesterday, but time escaped. There is just so much to do before I leave. I've definitely been praying that God will multiply my hours and streamline all these processes : ) I appreciate so much all of your prayers as I prepare for this adventure. I cannot say this enough!
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
- Surrender
- Endurance
- Safety
- Peace
Apr 25, 2010
Here I Go. Patmos 2010.
"Congratulations! You have been accepted into the Summer 2010 3-month term of Patmos: Reality Discipleship in Campo Mourao, Brazil." It went on to remind me that PATMOS BRAZIL STARTS IN 27 DAYS!!! AHHHHHH!
Part of me leaps with excitement, and the other part shrinks back with nervousness and anxiety about what is to come. I know that I will leave as one person and come back as someone completely different. To tell you that I am completely at ease would be a lie. I will be leaving my friends and family for three months with people I don't know in a country I've never visited. But one thing is for sure: "The Lord works all things together for the good of those who love Him," and He has plans "to prosper, not to harm."
In Patmos terms, I will be "challenged for the purpose of change." I will be pushed beyond my own human limitations to discover what it really means to depend fully upon the saving grace of God. I will be stretched and poured out. I will decrease so that He will increase. And I will learn what it means to "be crucified with Christ."
All for the glory of God. My life is not my own. Just like the video I posted yesterday said, "It's not what you can get from God, but what God can get from you." This summer, I'm laying it all down to see what God can do with me.
But, I can't do it alone. I need all the support I can get. Starting today, please partner with me in prayer as I prepare to tithe this season of my life. Pray that passport and visa documentation will go through without any issues. Pray that God begins to break down barriers in my heart that keep me anxious. Pray for peace in the midst of this chaotic preparation (26 days!). Pray that all the doctor's visits, paperwork, and plane arrangements pan out the way they're supposed to.
Pray that God provides over $6,000 financially that I will need for this experience. I am confident in Christ that He will accomplish above and beyond what we can ask, think, or imagine. In my mind, $6,000 is a lot of money that I don't have, but hello- I serve the King of the Universe! I think He can manage a measly $6,000. I'm counting the financial aspect as just one more challenge in trusting God. Oh, and did I mention that He holds time in His hands? Beginning and the end? I'm thinking He's more than capable. It's just about me being calm and resting in His perfect peace in the process.
I will keep you all updated as things progress. In the meantime, pray, pray, pray and please share this link with anyone interested in supporting me.
If you want, you can leave a comment letting me know what you're praying for. Two weeks before I leave, I have to turn in a prayer support sheet, listing people committed to praying for me on a specific day of the week for a very specific need. I'll post about that tomorrow once I have time to set up a sheet.
For more info about Patmos, check out http://www.realitydiscipleship.org/ : )
Let the crazy adventure begin!
Apr 24, 2010
What's God Getting Out of You?
Another one that you simply have to watch! This site is full of inspiring messages of revival.
It's Not Okay.
It's time for revival. The church is dead. The American church is dying in its own buildings without even knowing it.
Yet, there are some who see the sad reality. Christians are going through the motions, living comfortable lives of sin, thinking that everything is ok. IT'S NOT OKAY! Mediocre is not okay. Lukewarm is not okay. Compromise does not cut it.
What happened to black and white? Right and wrong? What happened to following the Bible instead of "interpretations" of the Bible that we select as our favorite because they justify sinful actions? What happened to living as Christ demands?
My heart is broken and torn up today. This past week, I have come to realize the state of modern church. I'm sick of political correctness, and making people "feel good." That's not what it's about.
The reality is that there is a heaven and there is a hell. And everyone here on earth is destined to one of those places. If it's not heaven, it's hell. And, we walk around with the audacity to think that it's okay to live in sin and keep the Gospel to ourselves. One more time...IT'S NOT OKAY.
Only a few months ago, I was living in this mediocre, lukewarm existence. The worst part about being lukewarm is that you don't know it. Billy (Eikon pastor) talked about this on Wednesday. In Revelation 3, Christ tells the Laodicean church, "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were on or the other!" One or the other? Why would Christ want someone to be cold? Because at least they know they're cold! They know something needs to be done. If you're hot, you know you're hot. But if you're lukewarm, you think everything's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Christ demands radical obedience to His message. Yes, we are all sinners, but we can't keep using that as a crutch. With Christ comes victory over sin. With prayer comes a shield of protection. Christians aren't supposed to look the same as the world, with a little of God's grace sprinkled on us. Just because we're forgiven doesn't mean we have permission to do whatever we want. Our lives are not our own. Our bodies are not our own. Our dreams are not ours. Do you see the pattern here? It's not about us, but everything in today's church tells us that it is.
We've gotta get past us. That's where Satan has us trapped. If our Christianity revolves around us, we never get anywhere because yeah- we will always have problems. We can't wait until the conditions are "perfect" before we decide to help someone out. Christ went out of His way to help others when His conditions were the worst. He ministered on the cross!!! Why, then, are we caught up in (insert sin here) when Christ has given us authority and power to overcome such sin and focus on others?
If we push past ourselves, that's when we experience Christ, because it was never about us in the first place. Christ didn't die so that we could hear the Gospel, be saved, and feel comfortable in lives of mediocrity. Christ died so that our lives would be so radically transformed that the world wouldn't recognize them as normal. They would see something completely different and passionate and intriguing that would make them wonder why in the world we would act so absurd.
The church needs revival. The world needs God. And I need to get off my butt and do something about it.
"14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 18 Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” 19 You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.[a] Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 20 How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?"
I think what we have is an entire generation that has been fooled into believing that the sinner's prayer is good enough. Believing that God saves and that Jesus died for you isn't good enough. Our lives must reflect the fact that we have come into contact with that reality.
As a result of this false doctrine, we have a world full of people who believe that they are okay. Faith without works is dead. I have a classroom full of peers who raised their hands and said they were "Christians" (while their language alone is enough to have Paul roll over in his grave). Faith without works is dead.
Being lukewarm is much worse than being either hot or cold. My heart is burdened for the lukewarm of the world. I was one of them. I was content in false Christianity, believing that it was okay to do whatever I wanted. That's not following Jesus.
Praise God He saved me from that state, from that trickery of the Devil! But I cannot be content with just getting over it. God saved me for a reason. I have to reach others with this message, not with a "high and mighty" I'm-better-than-you-and-can't-relate-to-how-you're-living attitude. No! It has to come from a heart that says- yeah, I was right where you were. And it's not a safe place to be. We don't know how much time we have left. Today is the day for change. No more mediocrity. No more fake Christians. It's unacceptable. The church is doing society a dishonor by turning its head and ignoring this state of existence, even accepting this state of existence. It needs to be called out. We cannot stay silent and pretend it's okay. People are dying and going to hell. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Yet, there are some who see the sad reality. Christians are going through the motions, living comfortable lives of sin, thinking that everything is ok. IT'S NOT OKAY! Mediocre is not okay. Lukewarm is not okay. Compromise does not cut it.
What happened to black and white? Right and wrong? What happened to following the Bible instead of "interpretations" of the Bible that we select as our favorite because they justify sinful actions? What happened to living as Christ demands?
My heart is broken and torn up today. This past week, I have come to realize the state of modern church. I'm sick of political correctness, and making people "feel good." That's not what it's about.
The reality is that there is a heaven and there is a hell. And everyone here on earth is destined to one of those places. If it's not heaven, it's hell. And, we walk around with the audacity to think that it's okay to live in sin and keep the Gospel to ourselves. One more time...IT'S NOT OKAY.
Only a few months ago, I was living in this mediocre, lukewarm existence. The worst part about being lukewarm is that you don't know it. Billy (Eikon pastor) talked about this on Wednesday. In Revelation 3, Christ tells the Laodicean church, "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were on or the other!" One or the other? Why would Christ want someone to be cold? Because at least they know they're cold! They know something needs to be done. If you're hot, you know you're hot. But if you're lukewarm, you think everything's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Christ demands radical obedience to His message. Yes, we are all sinners, but we can't keep using that as a crutch. With Christ comes victory over sin. With prayer comes a shield of protection. Christians aren't supposed to look the same as the world, with a little of God's grace sprinkled on us. Just because we're forgiven doesn't mean we have permission to do whatever we want. Our lives are not our own. Our bodies are not our own. Our dreams are not ours. Do you see the pattern here? It's not about us, but everything in today's church tells us that it is.
We've gotta get past us. That's where Satan has us trapped. If our Christianity revolves around us, we never get anywhere because yeah- we will always have problems. We can't wait until the conditions are "perfect" before we decide to help someone out. Christ went out of His way to help others when His conditions were the worst. He ministered on the cross!!! Why, then, are we caught up in (insert sin here) when Christ has given us authority and power to overcome such sin and focus on others?
If we push past ourselves, that's when we experience Christ, because it was never about us in the first place. Christ didn't die so that we could hear the Gospel, be saved, and feel comfortable in lives of mediocrity. Christ died so that our lives would be so radically transformed that the world wouldn't recognize them as normal. They would see something completely different and passionate and intriguing that would make them wonder why in the world we would act so absurd.
The church needs revival. The world needs God. And I need to get off my butt and do something about it.
"14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 18 Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” 19 You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.[a] Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 20 How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?"
I think what we have is an entire generation that has been fooled into believing that the sinner's prayer is good enough. Believing that God saves and that Jesus died for you isn't good enough. Our lives must reflect the fact that we have come into contact with that reality.
As a result of this false doctrine, we have a world full of people who believe that they are okay. Faith without works is dead. I have a classroom full of peers who raised their hands and said they were "Christians" (while their language alone is enough to have Paul roll over in his grave). Faith without works is dead.
Being lukewarm is much worse than being either hot or cold. My heart is burdened for the lukewarm of the world. I was one of them. I was content in false Christianity, believing that it was okay to do whatever I wanted. That's not following Jesus.
Praise God He saved me from that state, from that trickery of the Devil! But I cannot be content with just getting over it. God saved me for a reason. I have to reach others with this message, not with a "high and mighty" I'm-better-than-you-and-can't-relate-to-how-you're-living attitude. No! It has to come from a heart that says- yeah, I was right where you were. And it's not a safe place to be. We don't know how much time we have left. Today is the day for change. No more mediocrity. No more fake Christians. It's unacceptable. The church is doing society a dishonor by turning its head and ignoring this state of existence, even accepting this state of existence. It needs to be called out. We cannot stay silent and pretend it's okay. People are dying and going to hell. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Apr 20, 2010
Apr 18, 2010
Inquiring Mind
Have you ever felt that God was telling you something, but in your mind, you questioned if it was really Him? Or...have you ever felt God leading you to do something, but it seems crazy and scary and impossible in a short amount of time?
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
Apr 16, 2010
Eikon Podcast
All That I Am
The more and more I get into God's Word, the more I realize just how weak I am and how much I need Him. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. I talked about this in one of my posts a few weeks ago. I had been striving to meet the "standards," to be "good enough" for God. What a relief it has been to embrace His unconditional love once again! It is so refreshing and rejuvinating once you realize that God doesn't love you any more or any less if you spend ten minutes in prayer or thirty. That's why I love Psalm 103. Praise, praise, praise. Who else can love like He loves?
Verse 14 has been on my mind since Good Friday, and it has dramatically changed my thinking. "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." After reading that Psalm, you're probably thinking....okay, that wouldn't have been my pick, but let me explain.
I'M DUST! I'm a big lump of dust! God knows that. Sometimes I try to puff myself up and act like I'm more than that. I'M DUST! I'm weak, and on my own, absolutely worthless. I'm just a shell here on earth. But, but....when Christ lives in me. Wow. Now that is something worth looking at. When Christ lives in me and in You, people notice. He disciplines me and corrects me and changes me, but "he remembers we are only dust." When I fall short of God's glory, He isn't suprised. He knows that I will. What matters is the motivation of my heart. Is my whole heart seeking after God?
I used to think that in order to seek fully after God, you had to be a devoted Christian who studied the Bible six hours a day and evangelized at least two (okay, maybe these numbers weren't always the same, but you get the idea). The amazing thing about Christ is that He is everywhere- in the car, in my class, at the office. God doesn't speak to me just from the Bible, and He doesn't use me to speak to others only when I set aside two hours. Day in and day out, He purposes each and every move.
Have you ever stopped to think about that? I was walking home from the gym tonight, and I thought to myself....God knew exactly what time I would go to the gym tonight. He knew how long I would run, when I would get tired, and when I would begin gasping for air (haha- just kidding). The crazy thing is He actually knew that not only for me, but for each and every person around me. And He knew that I would be sitting here, on April 16, writing about Him. And He knew that you would be reading this right now. Crazy, isn't it?
Okay- back to the seeking fully after God idea (sorry for my tinge of ADD kicking in ; ). I used to think in order to seek fully after God, you had to be chained to a desk praying and reading the Bible. After your hours of study and prayer, you could then go boldly proclaim to others the Good News. Only people in full time ministry can really serve God, or that's what I thought. Well, God's been using me in ways I never thought possible. Whether it's conversations at work, or with people in line at Chick N' Grill. Every movement He purposes for a reason. And the great thing about it all is that when your heart and mind are fully focused on Christ, you can be doing whatever it is you need to be doing and still glorify Him. There's always what Tozer calls that "secret communion," that goes on between you and God. If you love someone, they're always on your mind. You can't wait to spend time with them and share with them what's been going on in your life, and you look forward to hearing about their life.
I now approach prayer not as a burden, but as a delight. When I miss my morning time alone with God, I normally say, "Man, God, I missed you this morning. Sorry about that." I look forward to telling Him my deepest longings, my heart's desires, and my dreams. Even more so, I love to hear Him. I absolutely love hearing God's voice. He never disappoints, never discourages. His voice is always full of love and compassion. So back to Psalm 103. I can't say it enough. "Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
Open Letter to Mr. Right
I am drained today! These past few weeks have been absolutely life-changing and I wouldn't trade a single minute, but I wouldn't mind some good, quality sleep either.
Tonight was actually kind of relaxing. I went to the gym (haven't been there in a while...) and then worked on some graphic design. But, back to the gym thing...
You might think I'm crazy (well, by now, you probably know I'm a little cooky) by what I'm about to say. Here it goes: I don't think God likes the gym. You see, I have this theory. When I walk into the gym, it's almost like you can feel the intense amount of egotism that fills the room. It's like it sucks the breath right out of you. Guys are struttin' around trying to show off for the ladies (don't worry...that never works for me! lol). And the ladies are trying to impress the guys with their latest ab exercises. It's actually quite amusing when I watch the people there. I think our society has taken the whole "exercise-to-stay-healthy" thing a little to far, don't ya think?
I, personally, don't believe excercise is wrong in and of itself, but I do believe that our society puts it on such a high pedestal that it can become a god. Not cool.
Yeah, so since I had no one else to share this with, I figured why not you?! Oh goodness, see what you have to deal with? The wandering mind of little ole' me. Sorry, but you're stuck, buddy ; )
Tonight was actually kind of relaxing. I went to the gym (haven't been there in a while...) and then worked on some graphic design. But, back to the gym thing...
You might think I'm crazy (well, by now, you probably know I'm a little cooky) by what I'm about to say. Here it goes: I don't think God likes the gym. You see, I have this theory. When I walk into the gym, it's almost like you can feel the intense amount of egotism that fills the room. It's like it sucks the breath right out of you. Guys are struttin' around trying to show off for the ladies (don't worry...that never works for me! lol). And the ladies are trying to impress the guys with their latest ab exercises. It's actually quite amusing when I watch the people there. I think our society has taken the whole "exercise-to-stay-healthy" thing a little to far, don't ya think?
I, personally, don't believe excercise is wrong in and of itself, but I do believe that our society puts it on such a high pedestal that it can become a god. Not cool.
Yeah, so since I had no one else to share this with, I figured why not you?! Oh goodness, see what you have to deal with? The wandering mind of little ole' me. Sorry, but you're stuck, buddy ; )
Apr 8, 2010
It Can't Be Me.
Honestly, Chelsea, you’ve just gotta believe.
And you’ve gotta stop trying so hard. You have to believe that God will do what He says He will do. Stop trying to do it on your own.
Words right out of my friend’s mouth. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been struggling lately. I don’t think that’s something I should say as if it isn’t an everyday occurrence. As Christians, we must expect struggle. We have an enemy who works when we least expect, who steals our hearts and motivations when we don’t keep guard. To say the Christian life is a struggle is an understatement. It’s a battle- an everyday battle where we must choose who to serve. It’s not a once in a lifetime choice- it’s a day to day decision. We choose whether to follow the flesh or follow the Spirit. I digress.
Anyway, I’ve been trying it on my own again. Essentially I’ve been trying to be a Christian without Christ for about two days. I go through the routine of devotion, pray with some passion, and read Scripture. I feel dead compared to my devotional life just a few days before, but what happened? Why do I make such a simple thing so complicated?
Jesus says to have the faith of a child, so why do I worry about the fine details? Why do I question things when I should just have faith and believe? Part of me says that pursuing God should be easy, for the Scriptures say, “If you seek me with all your heart, you will find Me.” But the bigger part of me says it’s harder than that. Having a relationship with the King of the Universe has to be more elaborate, more difficult, more governed by rules. More. Just more.
It’s this constant argument within me. I think I have it right and I’ve got it figured out, but the truth is I will never have it figured out. And the moment I think that I do is the moment I’ve surrendered to the flesh in believing that I in myself am sufficient.
I try to seek as hard as I can on my own strength, but it is the Holy Spirit within me that I must maintain as my guide. I can read as many books, as many Scripture passages as I want, but without discernment and conviction from the Holy Spirit, I might as well not have read them at all.
Pastor Chet said tonight that in the first century, if 95% of the Spirit left the church, the church would fall apart. But if 95% of the Spirit left the church today, we would still press on. We would continue with our meaningless programs, our ridiculous list of events that are absolutely hollow without Jesus in them.
I have lost what it means to be lead by the Spirit. I have slipped into a lapse of reason instead of pure passion fired by Jesus. I have let my head get too wrapped up in matters of the Spirit. Sometimes, okay, most times, my head won’t comprehend what God has to say. I wasn’t built with the capacity to understand how God was there before there was anything. I can’t understand that He holds time and isn’t bound by time. I don’t get how He can stay the same day after day after day without changing. And I don’t get how Someone so perfect and holy in and of Himself would choose to even spend time concerned with the details of my life. My mind doesn’t get it. But I must have faith that it’s true. Matters of the Spirit aren’t always matters of the mind.
I can’t box God up. I can’t discover God based upon the experiences of others. I can’t simply accept society’s view of God. I have to make this journey my own. He desires for me to know Him as intimately as He knows me. I was made to worship and I was made to bring Him the glory.
Honestly, Chelsea, you just gotta believe.
And you’ve gotta stop trying so hard. You have to believe that God will do what He says He will do. Stop trying to do it on your own.
Words right out of my friend’s mouth. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve been struggling lately. I don’t think that’s something I should say as if it isn’t an everyday occurrence. As Christians, we must expect struggle. We have an enemy who works when we least expect, who steals our hearts and motivations when we don’t keep guard. To say the Christian life is a struggle is an understatement. It’s a battle- an everyday battle where we must choose who to serve. It’s not a once in a lifetime choice- it’s a day to day decision. We choose whether to follow the flesh or follow the Spirit. I digress.
Anyway, I’ve been trying it on my own again. Essentially I’ve been trying to be a Christian without Christ for about two days. I go through the routine of devotion, pray with some passion, and read Scripture. I feel dead compared to my devotional life just a few days before, but what happened? Why do I make such a simple thing so complicated?
Jesus says to have the faith of a child, so why do I worry about the fine details? Why do I question things when I should just have faith and believe? Part of me says that pursuing God should be easy, for the Scriptures say, “If you seek me with all your heart, you will find Me.” But the bigger part of me says it’s harder than that. Having a relationship with the King of the Universe has to be more elaborate, more difficult, more governed by rules. More. Just more.
It’s this constant argument within me. I think I have it right and I’ve got it figured out, but the truth is I will never have it figured out. And the moment I think that I do is the moment I’ve surrendered to the flesh in believing that I in myself am sufficient.
I try to seek as hard as I can on my own strength, but it is the Holy Spirit within me that I must maintain as my guide. I can read as many books, as many Scripture passages as I want, but without discernment and conviction from the Holy Spirit, I might as well not have read them at all.
Pastor Chet said tonight that in the first century, if 95% of the Spirit left the church, the church would fall apart. But if 95% of the Spirit left the church today, we would still press on. We would continue with our meaningless programs, our ridiculous list of events that are absolutely hollow without Jesus in them.
I have lost what it means to be lead by the Spirit. I have slipped into a lapse of reason instead of pure passion fired by Jesus. I have let my head get too wrapped up in matters of the Spirit. Sometimes, okay, most times, my head won’t comprehend what God has to say. I wasn’t built with the capacity to understand how God was there before there was anything. I can’t understand that He holds time and isn’t bound by time. I don’t get how He can stay the same day after day after day without changing. And I don’t get how Someone so perfect and holy in and of Himself would choose to even spend time concerned with the details of my life. My mind doesn’t get it. But I must have faith that it’s true. Matters of the Spirit aren’t always matters of the mind.
I can’t box God up. I can’t discover God based upon the experiences of others. I can’t simply accept society’s view of God. I have to make this journey my own. He desires for me to know Him as intimately as He knows me. I was made to worship and I was made to bring Him the glory.
Honestly, Chelsea, you just gotta believe.
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