Dec 6, 2010
Nov 12, 2010
My friend Edson
His name is Edson.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
He wears a buttercup yellow sweater over a crisp white button-down.
He dons a smile that could light up the world.
He carries cardboard boxes under his right arm,
And a place of food, a care package, and a cup of juice in his left.
It's 11:30 at night.
He's surrounded by twenty or so people of a different color.
He's a light.
He says the rich people drive down here to sell drugs.
My heart cracks.
He says almost every person around him is carrying a knife,
And ready to fight.
It begins to break.
He says he's gonna get off the streets,
Has a job to start in two weeks.
He shakes his head and sighs when he talks about his new friends.
Some people just don't want out.
Some people just don't want off.
They want to stay addicted.
And he talks with them in the mornings, when they've sobered up.
He takes them to a church down the street,
Where they sip on coffee and escape the dim reality for a bit.
He's redeeming his time.
Edson says he's not been scared, even though his first two weeks on the street shattered preconceived expectations.
Edson says that in the midst of drugs and knives and fights and lunatics,
He can lay down on his box and fall fast asleep.
Because he knows the Lord and he knows God will protect him.
My heart crumbles.
How is it that a man in such a dark time,
Still wears a buttercup yellow sweater,
And dons a smile that could light up the world?
And how is it that a man who would have no reason to hope,
Finds peace and hope each and every moment?
And how is it that he even cares about the people around him?
I slept good last night.
In the comfort of my bed.
Away from the cold weather.
With breakfast to look forward to.
I felt more at home sitting with him.
Because that's who Jesus is.
He's the guy on the street. The woman who lost her husband. The kid who doesn't have a family.
This way, Chels
I was walking with my friend Diana to her car a few weeks ago. We were at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. Needless to say, there are like 50 parking lots and 5,599,302 parking spaces (okay, so the fish isn't quite that big ; ). I didn't drive with her, so I had no clue where she was parked. I was walking like I knew where her car was, and she was just cracking up. I'd start talking with her and then make a turn or a slight veer to the right. She kept saying, "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels." It was quite amusing, and I'm still trying to figure out why it was I thought I knew my way.
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Seeing God's strength makes me realize my own insignificance. Look into the eyes of your Savior and realize there is nothing- nothing inside yourself. I think I'm giving? He gave His life. I think I'm loving? He washed His betrayer's feet. I think I'm patient? He longsuffered for 33 years on this perverse and fallen earth. I think I'm reaching out? He lived to seek and save the lost. I don't measure up. Period. End of sentence. What I perceive as strength comes to nothing because of who He is. Nothing in me is good. "O, wretched man that I am!"
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
About a week later, we were walking out of her office to go downstairs. We had come up one way and would be using the same stairwell to leave. But, for some reason, I was determined to exit another way. I started to go out the double glass doors, when I heard Diana laughing again. "Chels, where are you going? This way, Chels."
It's become our little joke now, but that voice reminds me of God. I'm so stubborn. I'm so set in my ways and my plans and my feelings. God has a path set for me, but instead of following His lead, I wander around, acting like I know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do. What makes me think I know better than the Lord?
It's not that I know better. I know I don't. It's just that following my own voice is so much easier...in the flesh. It doesn't lead to the end result I ultimately want, but hey- it's what I want now.
Really?
Isn't it exhausting to try and keep up with yourself? I don't know how you parents do it- keeping up with spouses and kids and relatives. My goodness- I can barely keep myself on track, needless to say a whole gang of people! It's draining. The more I listen to myself and try to follow my advice, the more worn out and weary I feel. I can never be good enough, strong enough, willing enough, ____________ enough. My nagging voice is discouraging and hopeless. I hear of my inadequacy. And I want to give up.
In Daniel 10, Daniel sees a glorious vision- he sees Christ. "His body was like beryl, his face like the appearance of lightning, his eyes like torches of fire, his arms and feet like burnished bronze in color, and the sound of his words like the voice of a multitude. And I, Daniel, alone saw the vision." (v. 6) Can you imagine?
When we see Christ, we are in awe of who He is- His character, His power, His great grace. But, I don't really see Him enough. I see my version of God- God in a box. I dumb Him down to human understanding when, in fact, He could never be contained in my dinky brain. If I really saw God- really saw Him- I think I would react like Daniel. "No strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned into frailty in me, and I retained no strength." (v. 8)
Daniel was as low as he could get. Literally- "face to the ground" (v. 9), trembling on his hands and knees (v. 10). That's where God met him. We think God's proudest of us when we're standing tall for Him, but I think He's much more pleased when we confess our weaknesses and bow in humility.
The next few verses are so powerful. "And he said to me..." (v. 11) God is speaking directly to Daniel, and Daniel knows because he's in the position to receive God's words. He knows that he, in himself, is nothing more than a pile of dust.
But, to God..."O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you." Wow. Greatly beloved. What does God call you- what does He call me? O Chelsea, carnally minded? O Chelsea, self-reliant woman? O Chelsea, woman after my heart? What does my character boil down to in God's eyes?
"While he was still speaking this word to me, I stood trembling." (v. 11) Daniel's humility didn't escape when God called him to stand. 1 Peter 5:6 says, "Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time." Daniel recognized God's holiness and his nothingness, and because of that, God called him to stand.
"Then he said to me, 'Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you SET YOUR HEART to understand, and to HUMBLE YOURSELF before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words." (v. 12) God is waiting- waiting for us to make up our hearts. Yep, I said it- make up our hearts. We might have our minds attuned to God, but is our heart, the core of our being- determined to understand and follow after Him?
"From the first day" we do that, God hears us. He hears our cry for help. And as Abba, our Father, He comes to our rescue. He comes to speak directly.
Daniel's vision caused him sorrow and grief- he saw what was to come and felt overhwelmed. "Then again, the one having the likeness of a man touched me andstrengthened me. And he said, 'O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes be strong!'" (v. 18-19)
There's something in His voice. Something in His touch. Something in His gentle spirit that keeps me longing for more. I try to be strong and independent. I realize only vulnerability and complete dependency upon Him is the answer. I think I know my own way and am determined to stay my course. I realize His path is the best. And I think I can pridefully approach the throne with bold requests. I realize the importance of a gentle and quiet spirit.
"So when he spoke to me I was strengthened..." (v. 19)
Nov 5, 2010
Nuggets of Wisdom from "The Best Question Ever"
I just finished reading Andy Stanley's book The Best Question Ever. It is filled with incredible insight to decision making through one simple question. I know, I know...you want me to let you in on the secret, but it's worth the read, so I'm keeping my lips sealed : ) In the meantime, here are a few quotes from the book to whet your appetite:
Wise people know when they don't know. The fool is the person who convinces himself that he knows more than he really knows and doesn't need to ask anybody anything. At the end of the day, the wise man breathes a sigh of relief; the fool, a sigh of regret.
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
How do you expect to make a masterpiece of your life if you are unwilling to surrender to the Author of life- the One who knows which textures and colors are best blended for the outcome you desire?
Every single day we benefit from the way God designed things to work. Everything we claim to have created in our human endeavors finds its ultimate source in something God created that we simply discovered and manipulated. Every time we take a breath, we declare our dependency upon submission to the Father physically. Why then would we hesitate to submit our will? Why are we so afraid to surrender to Him our relationships, our finances, our careers?
Oct 20, 2010
Swept Away
“And Jesus answered, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10:41-42).
One thing. That’s all it is. Plop me in the desert. Ship me to Japan. Fly me to Broadway. All I need is the one thing. All I need is Jesus.
To sit at his feet captivated by the very words He speaks. To discover the inflections of His voice and the lessons from His life. To question and ponder and grow. To be broken and to be restored to wholeness again. To be dead and revived to life. To worship with a humble heart and a reverent posture. To hear, really hear the Lord.
“One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord,
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4)
Sep 29, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me
All I have to say is "Wow, God. You blow me away." This whole day I have been completely overwhelmed by the words of encouragement and simple birthday wishes and love that everyone has blessed me with. From 12 AM last night until late this evening, my phone's been ringing off the hook with phone calls, texts, and Facebook notifications.
Each year is just another reminder of how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by so many people I am fortunate to call my friends and family. That's the best birthday gift I could ever have, and I'm not being cliche about that.
God so happened to place a part of Psalm 139 (my favorite Psalm) in my devotion this morning. What a way to start off the day! He surely knew how that would tickle me... He does know our heart's desires, after all : )
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."
I think the word picture in verse 13 is breathtaking- "You covered me in my mother's womb." I just get this vision of Christ encircling me with His arms, holding me, just as a momma does when she rocks her newborn. Can you see Him examining the tiny fingers and toes? Can you hear Him whisper His sweet love? Can you picture the deep sigh He takes when He says, "This is good"?
And David says right after, "I will praise You."
You see, God delights in His creation. He loves me and He loves you, with a love that we will never understand. He loves to love, regardless of our devotion to Him. Crazy, I know. But, when we recognize that love, the response is immediate worship and adoration. When we get a grip of God's passion for us, we can't help but return the emotion. When I recognize that Christ covered me, even when I was in the process of being formed, I realize that there's nothing I can do to earn His love. I realize that, just as He's held me from the beginning, He will continue to hold me for the rest of my days. He's just that good. And I'm just that blessed. Happy birthday to me : )
Sep 28, 2010
The Mystery of Godliness
"The Christian life can only be explained in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it!
It is only when your quality of life baffles the neighbors that you are likely to impress them! It has got to become patently obvious to others that the kind of life you are living is not only commendable, but that it is beyond all human explanation! That it is beyond the consequences of man's capacity to imitate, and however little they may understand this, clearly the consequence only of God's capacity to reproduce Himself in you!
In a nutshell, this means that your fellow-men must become convinced that the Lord Jesus Christ of whom you speak, is essentially Himself the ingredient of the Life you live!"
Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness
It is only when your quality of life baffles the neighbors that you are likely to impress them! It has got to become patently obvious to others that the kind of life you are living is not only commendable, but that it is beyond all human explanation! That it is beyond the consequences of man's capacity to imitate, and however little they may understand this, clearly the consequence only of God's capacity to reproduce Himself in you!
In a nutshell, this means that your fellow-men must become convinced that the Lord Jesus Christ of whom you speak, is essentially Himself the ingredient of the Life you live!"
Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness
Never Enough
"For do I now persuade men or God, or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
I worry about attending this activity or that activity or saying no to one person and yes to another. I get caught up in trying to make time for everyone, trying to give everyone my all, trying to meet everyone's needs. Only One deserves my all. But, I'm so busy giving everyone else my all, that He only gets a portion, when He's supposed to get the whole pie and divvy it out Himself in the first place.
If you can't tell, I've been thinking a lot about priorities and how I spend my time, mainly because I can't seem to get enough of it (time) lately. It's caused me to reexamine what I'm really doing and who I'm spending time with.
God laid Mark 12:29-31 on my heart: Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these.”
First things first. Love God with everything I have in me. Second things next. Love others with the love of Christ.
Instead of considering what I do according to my own reasoning, I should be asking God what He wants me to do. God- do you think I should go to dinner with them? God- what do YOU want me to do this weekend? God- how do I waste time? God- can you teach me how to use my time wisely? Because "my time" isn't really "my time" in the first place, it's God's.
Sep 24, 2010
That Guy Named Jacob
So, in my devotions, I'm plugging through the book of Genesis. I must admit...I've never read the Old Testament in its entirety, and when God asked me to do that, I was half excited, half bored. Something about "conquering" the Old Testament seemed like quite a task. Trying to understand all the customs, and culture, and law, and contexts, and geography to get the true meaning in each story seemed a little overwhelming.
Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous. People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing. Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking. Do you ever do that?
Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently. I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.
Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man. In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20). Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help." Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.
Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength." Or what he thought was strength. True strength comes through submission. How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority? I think we can all take a stab at that answer. Of course it's harder to submit than to assert! Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).
Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength. Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God? I know God gets a kick out of it. It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human. It's impossible. That wee little ant will never overcome me. Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.
Jacob persisted- he didn't give up. But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him." He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26). It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle. God, bless me! Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it. We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!! In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring.
But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9). He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27). In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name. It's character. It's image. It's conduct. A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual. God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was. Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter." He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go. But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned. He offered hope.
"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament. "You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God." Simon became Cephas, "A Stone." A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal. Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"! That's quite a change in status. From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power.
When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17). I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible. Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him. He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions. Everything. I just wonder what He wants to call me. Right now, I'm Chelsea. I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea. But what will I be when I'm fully transformed? "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).
Saying that "out loud," I sound a little ridiculous. People in foreign countries are literally dying for a page of the Bible, and I'm having a hard time because I don't think I can handle the whole thing. Sometimes I disgust myself...and then wonder what God's thinking. Do you ever do that?
Anyway, I'm learning so much through the Old Testament characters and have run across Jacob most recently. I had never really taken an in-depth look at him, but have quickly come to realize that he might just be my twin in ancient form.
Reading some commentaries and studying his life, you can see that he is a self-sufficient man. In chapter 32, right after he finishes praying, he goes to work making plans and back-up plans (v. 13-20). Chuck Smith said, "One of Jacob's problems was that he felt God couldn't do His work without his help." Um....just wondering, did anybody see the name Chelsea there, or is that just me? Haha.
Throughout his life, "Jacob's weakness was his strength." Or what he thought was strength. True strength comes through submission. How much harder is it to submit to authority than to be your own authority? I think we can all take a stab at that answer. Of course it's harder to submit than to assert! Jacob was so opposed to submission that God literally had to cripple him when he was wrestling the angel all night, "until the breaking of day" (32:24).
Hosea 12:2 says God punished Jacob "according to his ways." God punished Jacob by making him weak- by putting him to shame in what he saw was his strength. Verse 3 says, "In his strength, he struggled with God." Isn't it just like me to think that I can even try to win a battle against God? I know God gets a kick out of it. It's like a little ant using all its force, believing with all its might, not ever giving up- to try to defeat a human. It's impossible. That wee little ant will never overcome me. Yet, I submit to my own authority, my own flesh instead of God.
Jacob persisted- he didn't give up. But, he only prevailed in the struggle when "he wept, and sought favor from Him." He cried out for God "Bless me!" (v. 26). It seems like such a selfish prayer to me, one that so many of us find ourselves praying in a struggle. God, bless me! Instead of praying that God would teach us in the midst of our suffering, we just focus on getting out of it. We don't even deserve blessing, and we have the nerve to ask the King of Kings to bless us...we should be more concerned with blessing Him!!! In light of who He is, our personal radar of blessing shouldn't be in the picture unless it's a monitor of outpouring.
But, "God is faithful" (1 Cor. 1:9). He asked Jacob, "What is your name?" (v. 27). In the Bible, a name is so much more than a name. It's character. It's image. It's conduct. A name isn't just a reference to an individual, it's a description of the individual. God was reminding Jacob exactly who He was. Jacob means "heel catcher" or "supplanter." He was reminding Jacob that he had lived in sin, that he had deceived his father and many others along the way to get where he wanted to go. But, God didn't leave Jacob condemned. He offered hope. "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." When I read this, it reminded me of Simon's transformation in the New Testament. "You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas." Jacob became Israel, "Prince with God." Simon became Cephas, "A Stone." A change in name was a change in character. This was a big deal. Jacob was now identified as "Prince with God"! That's quite a change in status. From someone who struggled against God, to a son working with Him, working under His power.
When we encounter God, we are never, ever, ever the same (2 Cor. 5:17). I could try with all my mind to block out God, but it's simply impossible. Once you've known Him, you can't forget Him. He changes your character, your heart, your thoughts, feelings, actions. Everything. I just wonder what He wants to call me. Right now, I'm Chelsea. I'm human- imperfect, worrier, planner, analyzer, Chelsea. But what will I be when I'm fully transformed? "And we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure." (1 John 3:2-3).
Sep 20, 2010
I've Got You
I love hearing that...don't you? I was walking back into my dorm building the other day and someone was holding the door..."Come on in, I've got you." It's that feeling of assurance. I remember walking up the stairs, thinking...that's quite possibly one of my favorite phrases.
It's even better when it comes out of His mouth. Life is just plain crazy. It's busy. It's messy. It's not what I expected it to be this year at Nova. It's not how I envisioned it playing out. But, what's so wrong about that?
Pastor Don McClure spoke this weekend at Calvary Chapel on Abraham's willingness and faith to sacrifice Issac. I have to admit..when he said Genesis 22 and started talking about the story, I was thinking, "Oh, another sermon on sacrifice. I've heard this before." I couldn't have been more wrong. Doesn't it consistently amuse you that God can take something you've heard 1,000 times over and make it fresh and new?
Pastor Don said Abraham went out in faith when he left his country. He stayed out in faith, even when the going got tough. But, the ultimate test- 50 years into his journey with Christ- was when he was asked to sacrifice his son. God asks us, "Am I more precious than any promise I've ever given?" Ouch.
God says He loves me. Yes, I praise you, God! God says He forgives me of my sin. Yes, I praise you, God! God says He will provide all I need. Yes, I praise you, God! He says He is preparing a place for me for eternity. Praise God! He says He will fight my battles for me. Praise God! He says He will hear me and answer my prayers. Praise Him! He says He wants to know what I will do for Him....
Do I love Him because of who He is, or because of what He does? I never want to be a person with what I call a "Medicine Bottle God." Take Him when you need Him, but when you're feeling fine, just forget about Him. No. But, what am I willing to give? Everything I have in this world? My most precious promises? Give all that up in immediate obedience? I pray that is my response to anything He asks of me.
1 John 4:15-16 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever."
God has reassured me time and time again with those sweet words- "I've got you." He's blessed me with blessings I come nowhere near close to deserving. Yet, when He asks me what I will sacrifice, my mind doesn't go to the thing that will cost me the most. There's lots of growing left for this girl, because my mind goes to something manageable, something I think I can give to Him that won't cost too, too much. Yes, God, I'm willing to sacrifice...a little sleep. a little money. a little food. Really? A little? Is it really a sacrifice, then?
Psalm 27 encouraged me this morning.
4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek: (It takes a seeking, determined, committed heart...)
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD, (though that's an impossible task!)
And to inquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock. (Did you catch those promises?)
6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; (See the sacrifice? A joful one, at that!)
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (See the desire of his heart?)
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD (See the eternal focus? Where does his help come from?)
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD! (Hear the excitement in his testimony? I can just see David saying...Wait, I dare you! See what my God will do!)
I once heard a pastor say, "Sometimes the most active and agressive step of faith you can take is to patiently wait." I feel like I'm somewhere in between Abraham's second and third stage. God's asking me to stay out in faith. Staying out is harder than going out, because staying out requires adjustment when your expectations aren't met. Staying out requires a steadfast heart that's willing to wait, after all the excitement and newness has worn off. But, I also feel like God is asking me now...Okay, Chelsea. You've been walking with me for a while, and I've shown you time and time again testimonies of my faithfulness. We've done the whole step-out-on-faith-and-watch-Me-move-mountains-and-do-a lot-with-your-little. We've done the whole mountain top experience thing. I've lavishly demonstrated my grace, my mercy, my unconditional love, my holiness to you. How do you reflect that?
Too often I forget that I have the privilege of encountering a holy, holy God who has no obligation to reveal even a glimpse of His glory. Even if He did nothing for me but create me, He would be worthy of my praise because that's just who He is. He's worthy. But, the fact is that He chooses to not only reveal Himself, but reveal Himself in a personal and intimate way. He chooses to speak directly to me....to me! He witholds NOTHING. So, why do I hold onto the things that don't even matter in the end?
"I've got you," He says. The question is not a matter of God's forgiveness and love, but of my faithfulness and commitment. "I've got you," He says, "but, do you have me?"
It's even better when it comes out of His mouth. Life is just plain crazy. It's busy. It's messy. It's not what I expected it to be this year at Nova. It's not how I envisioned it playing out. But, what's so wrong about that?
Pastor Don McClure spoke this weekend at Calvary Chapel on Abraham's willingness and faith to sacrifice Issac. I have to admit..when he said Genesis 22 and started talking about the story, I was thinking, "Oh, another sermon on sacrifice. I've heard this before." I couldn't have been more wrong. Doesn't it consistently amuse you that God can take something you've heard 1,000 times over and make it fresh and new?
Pastor Don said Abraham went out in faith when he left his country. He stayed out in faith, even when the going got tough. But, the ultimate test- 50 years into his journey with Christ- was when he was asked to sacrifice his son. God asks us, "Am I more precious than any promise I've ever given?" Ouch.
God says He loves me. Yes, I praise you, God! God says He forgives me of my sin. Yes, I praise you, God! God says He will provide all I need. Yes, I praise you, God! He says He is preparing a place for me for eternity. Praise God! He says He will fight my battles for me. Praise God! He says He will hear me and answer my prayers. Praise Him! He says He wants to know what I will do for Him....
Do I love Him because of who He is, or because of what He does? I never want to be a person with what I call a "Medicine Bottle God." Take Him when you need Him, but when you're feeling fine, just forget about Him. No. But, what am I willing to give? Everything I have in this world? My most precious promises? Give all that up in immediate obedience? I pray that is my response to anything He asks of me.
1 John 4:15-16 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life- is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever."
God has reassured me time and time again with those sweet words- "I've got you." He's blessed me with blessings I come nowhere near close to deserving. Yet, when He asks me what I will sacrifice, my mind doesn't go to the thing that will cost me the most. There's lots of growing left for this girl, because my mind goes to something manageable, something I think I can give to Him that won't cost too, too much. Yes, God, I'm willing to sacrifice...a little sleep. a little money. a little food. Really? A little? Is it really a sacrifice, then?
Psalm 27 encouraged me this morning.
4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek: (It takes a seeking, determined, committed heart...)
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD, (though that's an impossible task!)
And to inquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock. (Did you catch those promises?)
6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; (See the sacrifice? A joful one, at that!)
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” (See the desire of his heart?)
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD (See the eternal focus? Where does his help come from?)
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD! (Hear the excitement in his testimony? I can just see David saying...Wait, I dare you! See what my God will do!)
I once heard a pastor say, "Sometimes the most active and agressive step of faith you can take is to patiently wait." I feel like I'm somewhere in between Abraham's second and third stage. God's asking me to stay out in faith. Staying out is harder than going out, because staying out requires adjustment when your expectations aren't met. Staying out requires a steadfast heart that's willing to wait, after all the excitement and newness has worn off. But, I also feel like God is asking me now...Okay, Chelsea. You've been walking with me for a while, and I've shown you time and time again testimonies of my faithfulness. We've done the whole step-out-on-faith-and-watch-Me-move-mountains-and-do-a lot-with-your-little. We've done the whole mountain top experience thing. I've lavishly demonstrated my grace, my mercy, my unconditional love, my holiness to you. How do you reflect that?
Too often I forget that I have the privilege of encountering a holy, holy God who has no obligation to reveal even a glimpse of His glory. Even if He did nothing for me but create me, He would be worthy of my praise because that's just who He is. He's worthy. But, the fact is that He chooses to not only reveal Himself, but reveal Himself in a personal and intimate way. He chooses to speak directly to me....to me! He witholds NOTHING. So, why do I hold onto the things that don't even matter in the end?
"I've got you," He says. The question is not a matter of God's forgiveness and love, but of my faithfulness and commitment. "I've got you," He says, "but, do you have me?"
Aug 12, 2010
Then Who Could Ever Stop Us?
Well, the end is near. In fact, it’s only two days away. I still can’t get over how fast it went by, now that I’m looking back at all that God has done since I’ve been in Brazil. When we first got here, the interns were trying to explain to us how it would all seem like one long week- almost like a dream. At first, I dismissed them as crazy, but now I know exactly what they’re talking about!
This week is our “sending off” week, where we are being prepared and equipped to go out into the world and preach Jesus. How appropriate that we are studying the book of Acts. It is filled with stories of imperfect people, delighting the heart of God, by doing acts of ministry through the power of His Spirit. And, that’s what each of us is called to do. I think we have a tendency to forget that- at least I do. My purpose on earth is to glorify God by doing works through His Spirit. Just doing good works doesn’t cut it.
Pastor Chet said today…so what if you built a house? If you built a house for someone and didn’t preach Jesus along the way and plant seeds, it’s all worthless because they’re still going to hell! Too often, the church gets focused on social work and not on preaching Christ. The social work is to open a door for preaching Christ- we don’t do it just to do it. We do these acts of service to share the love of Christ with others. We get so busy doing that we forget why we do what we do.
And, I try it all on my own. What Christ calls us to do, the way He calls us to live, is impossible in my own strength. I struggle and strive until I finally rely on Him to do what He said He would do from the beginning.
Instead, I want to be known for a reputation of faith. You see, in Acts 9:30, Saul is sent to Tarsus after his conversion. He is sent away for a time of spiritual growth and building. He had a reputation of cruelty for Christians, but it would become a reputation of love for Christ. This short season of time, Paul was invested into, and he was set apart to pursue God and prepare for ministry. In the same way, God “exiled me” to the “island of Patmos for the Word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9).
I was too puffed up with me, too full of myself, and God had no room. I could ask God to fill me all I want, but if there isn’t any room, He won’t come in. These three months have broken me and shown me just how far off the radar I am when it comes to my faith in Christ. Praise God for His grace and mercy! He didn’t give up on me, instead, He called me to Patmos to rebuild on a firm foundation. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 says, “We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But, whoever loves God, this one is known by Him.” I thought I knew it all. In reality, I knew nothing, because I didn’t build upon love.
No matter what I do, it must be rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. My motivations were off, my heart was prideful, and I thought it was okay. It definitely wasn’t. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). I don’t know about you, but the words “abhor” and “cling” sound like strong action words to me. Whatever is not of God, I must hate. I must cast it as far away from me as possible. And whatever is of God, that, I must cling to with every last ounce of energy that I have in my body. Those are two polar opposites, and one cannot be done with the other.
There’s no more riding the fence. Paul knew the Scriptures, but he didn’t live them. His conversion and time in Tarsus built him up so that in Acts 11, Barnabus (“the son of encouragement”) sought Paul “that for a whole year they assembled with the church AND TAUGHT a great many people. And the disciples were first called Christians” (Acts 11:26). After Paul learned, he spread the knowledge and the Word. He taught others the revelations that God spoke to Him in His time of seclusion. That’s what God has also called me to do.
I have been built up, not for my own edification, but for the edification of the body. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my team here at Patmos, it’s that we need each other to survive. It’s the same with the body of Christ. We all have to show up, and we all have to contribute our gifts and talents.
“4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:4-8)
In this way, we fulfill what Christ calls us to do at the beginning of Romans, chapter 12: “present your bodies a living sacrifice” (v. 1). “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) If we aren’t ours in the first place, why do we still live as if we are?
The tide has changed, and I pray that God will continue to keep my heart set steadfastly on pursuing Him and Him alone. It’s not that He will fail in His promises, it’s that I might fail in my responsibility. If I seek Him, He will be there. But, I must purpose to seek Him above all, regardless of the circumstances and situations that surround me. I must “set my face like a flint, and know that I will not be ashamed. He is near who justifies me; who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near me.” (Isaiah 50:7-8).
“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?”
This week is our “sending off” week, where we are being prepared and equipped to go out into the world and preach Jesus. How appropriate that we are studying the book of Acts. It is filled with stories of imperfect people, delighting the heart of God, by doing acts of ministry through the power of His Spirit. And, that’s what each of us is called to do. I think we have a tendency to forget that- at least I do. My purpose on earth is to glorify God by doing works through His Spirit. Just doing good works doesn’t cut it.
Pastor Chet said today…so what if you built a house? If you built a house for someone and didn’t preach Jesus along the way and plant seeds, it’s all worthless because they’re still going to hell! Too often, the church gets focused on social work and not on preaching Christ. The social work is to open a door for preaching Christ- we don’t do it just to do it. We do these acts of service to share the love of Christ with others. We get so busy doing that we forget why we do what we do.
And, I try it all on my own. What Christ calls us to do, the way He calls us to live, is impossible in my own strength. I struggle and strive until I finally rely on Him to do what He said He would do from the beginning.
Instead, I want to be known for a reputation of faith. You see, in Acts 9:30, Saul is sent to Tarsus after his conversion. He is sent away for a time of spiritual growth and building. He had a reputation of cruelty for Christians, but it would become a reputation of love for Christ. This short season of time, Paul was invested into, and he was set apart to pursue God and prepare for ministry. In the same way, God “exiled me” to the “island of Patmos for the Word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9).
I was too puffed up with me, too full of myself, and God had no room. I could ask God to fill me all I want, but if there isn’t any room, He won’t come in. These three months have broken me and shown me just how far off the radar I am when it comes to my faith in Christ. Praise God for His grace and mercy! He didn’t give up on me, instead, He called me to Patmos to rebuild on a firm foundation. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 says, “We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But, whoever loves God, this one is known by Him.” I thought I knew it all. In reality, I knew nothing, because I didn’t build upon love.
No matter what I do, it must be rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. My motivations were off, my heart was prideful, and I thought it was okay. It definitely wasn’t. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). I don’t know about you, but the words “abhor” and “cling” sound like strong action words to me. Whatever is not of God, I must hate. I must cast it as far away from me as possible. And whatever is of God, that, I must cling to with every last ounce of energy that I have in my body. Those are two polar opposites, and one cannot be done with the other.
There’s no more riding the fence. Paul knew the Scriptures, but he didn’t live them. His conversion and time in Tarsus built him up so that in Acts 11, Barnabus (“the son of encouragement”) sought Paul “that for a whole year they assembled with the church AND TAUGHT a great many people. And the disciples were first called Christians” (Acts 11:26). After Paul learned, he spread the knowledge and the Word. He taught others the revelations that God spoke to Him in His time of seclusion. That’s what God has also called me to do.
I have been built up, not for my own edification, but for the edification of the body. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my team here at Patmos, it’s that we need each other to survive. It’s the same with the body of Christ. We all have to show up, and we all have to contribute our gifts and talents.
“4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:4-8)
In this way, we fulfill what Christ calls us to do at the beginning of Romans, chapter 12: “present your bodies a living sacrifice” (v. 1). “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) If we aren’t ours in the first place, why do we still live as if we are?
The tide has changed, and I pray that God will continue to keep my heart set steadfastly on pursuing Him and Him alone. It’s not that He will fail in His promises, it’s that I might fail in my responsibility. If I seek Him, He will be there. But, I must purpose to seek Him above all, regardless of the circumstances and situations that surround me. I must “set my face like a flint, and know that I will not be ashamed. He is near who justifies me; who will contend with me? Let us stand together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near me.” (Isaiah 50:7-8).
“And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?”
Jul 18, 2010
Contentment in the Crazy
4 weeks left here in Brazil. Crazy, isn’t it? Seems like only yesterday I was bawling my eyes out in the airport while saying goodbye to my parents…I’ll never outgrow that, I don’t think!
My time here so far has been one of extremes. Extreme growth. Extreme emotions. Extreme chaos and confusion inside. Extreme understanding. Extreme lessons. Extreme challenges.
The more I’m here, the more I realize the importance of having my team for support. This week, we studied the book of Philippians. Paul wrote it while in jail. Here’s this guy who has all the reason in the world to have a bad attitude. Yet, he doesn’t. Content in his circumstances, he chooses to encourage fellow brethren instead of dwell on his own situation and emotions. What an example.
We lived out the book of Philippians this week. While I can’t go into details, I can say that I gained much greater insight and a respect for Paul’s position and hope to one day achieve the same mindset he had.
That’s one thing I’ve craved since the day I’ve been here. The word that keeps coming to mind is immovable. Unshakeable and undeterred from my direction. I hope to become a woman so set on Christ that the circumstances around me have no influence on my attitude and behavior. The other day, I was studying and ran across this verse in Acts 20:24- "But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." I think I found my life verse : )
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” If I’ve truly been crucified with Christ, my flesh doesn’t exist. My earthly desires are put to rest for a heavenly gain that cannot be beat. But, I find myself still living for the pleasures of this world- for comfort and for security that don’t last. If I’ve been put to death, then nothing should shake me, because I’m dead already! What can the world do to me? How can Satan defeat me? He can’t, I’m dead already.
Contentment seems so easy to discuss when everything’s going good. It’s so easy to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It’s even easy to claim that you will say that when bad times come around. But the true test is when the bad times do come around. Is that really what you say? Is that really what your heart overflows with…praise?
I wish I could say I’m there, but I’m definitely not. God is growing me a lot in this sense, and I’m learning to become more flexible, more at ease when everything is crazy. Don’t get me wrong- I’m nowhere near Paul’s attitude, but the first step in correcting it is to recognize it.
The biggest sign to me was when the challenge this week was called off. Many of our faces changed from faces of sadness to faces of joy. Shouldn’t it be purely joy the whole time? James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, making you perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Count it ALL joy? Our faces didn’t reflect that, yet they should have. If I really trust the God behind that promise, I would count it all joy. The testing of my faith produces patience. Patience makes me perfect and complete. I lack nothing. Nothing. Why would I trade temporary satisfaction for lack? I shouldn’t.
Do you see what I’m saying? What will we choose to do in the midst of our trials? Will we choose to dwell in our circumstances, with negativity and pessimism? Or, will we choose an attitude of joy, remembering that Christ has us where we’re at for a specific reason? This all sounds so cliché, and that’s not where I wanted it to go, but it’s what God laid on my heart. For once, I feel like I’m really TRYING to live it out.
He has ordained all of our days. He goes before us and prepares the way. Why do we have reason to fear? He will not give us anything we cannot handle. Why are we afraid?
This coming week is supposedly one of the hardest weeks in Patmos. I’m not gonna lie- I’m nervous. Yes, you heard me. Here I am proclaiming the truth of God’s presence, yet scared of what lies ahead. And that’s exactly what the problem has been the whole time in my life. Instead of trusting God to do what He says He will do, I make my own plans and decisions. I should be waiting on the Lord, but somehow I’ve tricked myself into thinking that if I’m “in control” of the situation, it’s better because I “know” what’s up ahead. In reality, the more I lose control, the better off it is.
So, what has God been teaching you lately? How has He been molding and shaping you? Anyone else’s toes a little bruised? Yikes…but “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
My time here so far has been one of extremes. Extreme growth. Extreme emotions. Extreme chaos and confusion inside. Extreme understanding. Extreme lessons. Extreme challenges.
The more I’m here, the more I realize the importance of having my team for support. This week, we studied the book of Philippians. Paul wrote it while in jail. Here’s this guy who has all the reason in the world to have a bad attitude. Yet, he doesn’t. Content in his circumstances, he chooses to encourage fellow brethren instead of dwell on his own situation and emotions. What an example.
We lived out the book of Philippians this week. While I can’t go into details, I can say that I gained much greater insight and a respect for Paul’s position and hope to one day achieve the same mindset he had.
That’s one thing I’ve craved since the day I’ve been here. The word that keeps coming to mind is immovable. Unshakeable and undeterred from my direction. I hope to become a woman so set on Christ that the circumstances around me have no influence on my attitude and behavior. The other day, I was studying and ran across this verse in Acts 20:24- "But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." I think I found my life verse : )
Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” If I’ve truly been crucified with Christ, my flesh doesn’t exist. My earthly desires are put to rest for a heavenly gain that cannot be beat. But, I find myself still living for the pleasures of this world- for comfort and for security that don’t last. If I’ve been put to death, then nothing should shake me, because I’m dead already! What can the world do to me? How can Satan defeat me? He can’t, I’m dead already.
Contentment seems so easy to discuss when everything’s going good. It’s so easy to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It’s even easy to claim that you will say that when bad times come around. But the true test is when the bad times do come around. Is that really what you say? Is that really what your heart overflows with…praise?
I wish I could say I’m there, but I’m definitely not. God is growing me a lot in this sense, and I’m learning to become more flexible, more at ease when everything is crazy. Don’t get me wrong- I’m nowhere near Paul’s attitude, but the first step in correcting it is to recognize it.
The biggest sign to me was when the challenge this week was called off. Many of our faces changed from faces of sadness to faces of joy. Shouldn’t it be purely joy the whole time? James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, making you perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Count it ALL joy? Our faces didn’t reflect that, yet they should have. If I really trust the God behind that promise, I would count it all joy. The testing of my faith produces patience. Patience makes me perfect and complete. I lack nothing. Nothing. Why would I trade temporary satisfaction for lack? I shouldn’t.
Do you see what I’m saying? What will we choose to do in the midst of our trials? Will we choose to dwell in our circumstances, with negativity and pessimism? Or, will we choose an attitude of joy, remembering that Christ has us where we’re at for a specific reason? This all sounds so cliché, and that’s not where I wanted it to go, but it’s what God laid on my heart. For once, I feel like I’m really TRYING to live it out.
He has ordained all of our days. He goes before us and prepares the way. Why do we have reason to fear? He will not give us anything we cannot handle. Why are we afraid?
This coming week is supposedly one of the hardest weeks in Patmos. I’m not gonna lie- I’m nervous. Yes, you heard me. Here I am proclaiming the truth of God’s presence, yet scared of what lies ahead. And that’s exactly what the problem has been the whole time in my life. Instead of trusting God to do what He says He will do, I make my own plans and decisions. I should be waiting on the Lord, but somehow I’ve tricked myself into thinking that if I’m “in control” of the situation, it’s better because I “know” what’s up ahead. In reality, the more I lose control, the better off it is.
So, what has God been teaching you lately? How has He been molding and shaping you? Anyone else’s toes a little bruised? Yikes…but “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
Jul 10, 2010
Brazil Update Numero Dois : )
So I haven't posted any pictures since I've been here! Here are a few from the beginning until now...leaving out some, but you get the idea. I need to start snapping some more, though! Enjoy these few...
Plane ride...view of Sao Paulo
A little trail at the camp where I spend Patmos Time : )
Brazilian Sunset
Evidence of what we call "vampire bugs"...enough said.
We have all sorts of animals running around the camp!
Downtown Ron Don
The pictures above are all from our Brazilian steak dinner at the Ron Don Moto Club. YUM!
Tortinhas. Lime Cookies. Best thing since sliced bread...no, seriously- this is my favorite snack here!
Ouside of our host home in Ron Don.
My sidekick Diana and I after a refreshing shower.
Camila (left of me) and her Mom with Diana...they were our host family.
Brazilians are extremely hospitable- I cannot even begin to tell you how welcome they made us feel! I learned so much about selfless love from them and hope to exten the same hospitality to others that they offered to me.
Iguacu Falls
God is so good. He decided He'd throw a rainbow up for a perfect day at the falls.
Jump for joy.
Love this picture (Hipstamatic app on iPhone for most of these)
Tempted by the tourist hats
Butterflies everywhere here. Beautiful!
Brazilian Steakhouse after the Falls.
Having a little fun with the chefs.
My Paraguay Indian friend...like my headdress?
They were selling all sorts of bags, jewlery, musical instruments, and other handcrafted items.
More to come as soon as time allows : ) Love and miss you all.
Jun 22, 2010
Quick Update from Brazil : )
Hellooo, long lost blog friends! How I’ve missed you all over the past few weeks! I can’t believe it’s already been a month here at Patmos. To tell you I’ve been stretched beyond what I can handle is an understatement. Signing up for this discipleship program, I never realized just how intense it would be. At the same time, seeing how weak I am is revealing to me just how powerful Christ can be in me, if I choose to live in His strength rather than mine.
I would be lying if I told you it’s been all fun and games. My weeks here are filled with mixed emotions- excitement about what I have the opportunity to learn, fear about what is to come, and a longing to be home with family and friends…back in my comfort zone.
This is exactly where God wants me, though- outside of the realm of typical life. Pastor Chet said the first week that Patmos is normally for those stubborn enough to try on their own instead of letting God do the work He wants to do in the first place. Guilty, as charged. Doesn’t it seem like you know better than Him? Deep down, I know it’s a lie from Satan, but losing control seems scarier than maintaining it.
We’ve been challenged to get in the Word and hide it in our hearts. We have memory verses each day and must know them. I am learning what it means to truly meditate upon the Word, and I find that whenever I review a verse, God reveals something new and different about it that I never got before. It’s amazing how God can create a new experience each time with just a few words from Him. Without giving away information that I’m not supposed to, let’s just say that if you don’t know your verses, it hurts…physically and emotionally. It can not only affect you personally, but also your teammates. That happened to me today. I was off by one word for my verse. I suffered, and the team suffered with me. I felt horrible and blamed myself that everyone had to go through it. It was my fault. But, I wouldn’t have learned what I’m about to share.
The verse I had to recite was 1 Corinthians 2:9-10, “But as it is written, ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us THROUGH His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” I replaced the word “through” with the word “by.” I know what you’re probably thinking- that’s not really a big deal. But, when I thought about it, it was major conviction personally. That’s exactly what happens to me…I don’t work THROUGH the power of the Holy Spirit, I work on my own strength with the Holy Spirit BY me. He’s only my Helper when I specifically give Him access. Just like when I recited my verse. I never stopped to ask the Lord to help me, instead I relied on my studying and mental abilities to carry me through. That obviously failed. Slowly, I’m learning to change. God has to be my Everything all the time, not only when I feel like it.
That’s another thing that God’s been convicting me of lately. I realized just how consumed I am by my feelings and the circumstances around me. I allow what’s happening to determine my attitude, instead of focusing on the unwavering hope offered in Christ. “This hope we have an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters in the Presence behind the veil…” (Hebrews 6:19). Hope in the Lord draws me into His presence, and if that’s where I reside, I have no reason to fear or fret. Psalm 46 has been my theme here lately. When I feel like giving in because of all that is happening to me and around me, I remember:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
There are many other lessons I could tell, but time just doesn’t permit. I can’t wait to share many more with you once I get the opportunity to see you at home. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the blog or emails, as I promised I would. I never realized how little time I would have to do so, and our email accounts make it difficult to start a list for updates.
Lastly, I cannot stress how truly thankful I am for all of the encouraging words and prayers you are sending me. You have no idea how those acts of kindness hit me at just the right time and remind me of the purpose in the midst of the confusion.
This rare occasion to write made my day : ) Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Seek hard after Him, “…for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).
I would be lying if I told you it’s been all fun and games. My weeks here are filled with mixed emotions- excitement about what I have the opportunity to learn, fear about what is to come, and a longing to be home with family and friends…back in my comfort zone.
This is exactly where God wants me, though- outside of the realm of typical life. Pastor Chet said the first week that Patmos is normally for those stubborn enough to try on their own instead of letting God do the work He wants to do in the first place. Guilty, as charged. Doesn’t it seem like you know better than Him? Deep down, I know it’s a lie from Satan, but losing control seems scarier than maintaining it.
We’ve been challenged to get in the Word and hide it in our hearts. We have memory verses each day and must know them. I am learning what it means to truly meditate upon the Word, and I find that whenever I review a verse, God reveals something new and different about it that I never got before. It’s amazing how God can create a new experience each time with just a few words from Him. Without giving away information that I’m not supposed to, let’s just say that if you don’t know your verses, it hurts…physically and emotionally. It can not only affect you personally, but also your teammates. That happened to me today. I was off by one word for my verse. I suffered, and the team suffered with me. I felt horrible and blamed myself that everyone had to go through it. It was my fault. But, I wouldn’t have learned what I’m about to share.
The verse I had to recite was 1 Corinthians 2:9-10, “But as it is written, ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us THROUGH His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” I replaced the word “through” with the word “by.” I know what you’re probably thinking- that’s not really a big deal. But, when I thought about it, it was major conviction personally. That’s exactly what happens to me…I don’t work THROUGH the power of the Holy Spirit, I work on my own strength with the Holy Spirit BY me. He’s only my Helper when I specifically give Him access. Just like when I recited my verse. I never stopped to ask the Lord to help me, instead I relied on my studying and mental abilities to carry me through. That obviously failed. Slowly, I’m learning to change. God has to be my Everything all the time, not only when I feel like it.
That’s another thing that God’s been convicting me of lately. I realized just how consumed I am by my feelings and the circumstances around me. I allow what’s happening to determine my attitude, instead of focusing on the unwavering hope offered in Christ. “This hope we have an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters in the Presence behind the veil…” (Hebrews 6:19). Hope in the Lord draws me into His presence, and if that’s where I reside, I have no reason to fear or fret. Psalm 46 has been my theme here lately. When I feel like giving in because of all that is happening to me and around me, I remember:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
There are many other lessons I could tell, but time just doesn’t permit. I can’t wait to share many more with you once I get the opportunity to see you at home. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the blog or emails, as I promised I would. I never realized how little time I would have to do so, and our email accounts make it difficult to start a list for updates.
Lastly, I cannot stress how truly thankful I am for all of the encouraging words and prayers you are sending me. You have no idea how those acts of kindness hit me at just the right time and remind me of the purpose in the midst of the confusion.
This rare occasion to write made my day : ) Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Seek hard after Him, “…for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9).
May 12, 2010
A Quick Wander in the Wilderness
So, I'm a little behind on my blogging. Ever since I moved out of the dorms last Thursday, I've just been going, going, going (in a good way). I never knew a girl could have so many appointments in one week...I'm trying to squeeze everything in before I leave. So far, it's working : )
You are probably not going to believe this when I tell you, but God has raised $3,850 already! To think that all the details of my trip are coming together in less than 27 days still blows me away. It's funny when I reflect on the day I got my acceptance letter. They emphasized in the letter to make quick preparations, because the trip begins in 27 days. For the next few days, that's all I focused on- 27 days, 27 days, 27 days! I got so stinkin' stressed out and anxious that I was a nervous wreck. Then I started focusing on God. That's when everything began to fall together. Have you ever heard that quote "Don't focus on the size of your waves, focus on the size of your God."? I love that! It's so true. When you realize just how big and awesome and powerful God is, the circumstances in your life certainly start to shrink in both size and intensity. Soon, those stressful situations get turned into adventures where you get to see God move in ways you could have never imagined. That's what's been happening to me. Now, I think it's kind of fun when something seems impossible to do. Then, I wait in anticipation and say, "Okay, God, I can't wait to see how you're gonna pull this one off!" He sure is a lot more creative than I : ) This isn't to say I don't still have my moments of doubt- that strikes us all- I just think God has taught me a lot over these past few weeks about resting in His perfect provision and timing.
We studied Deuteronomy 8 at Eikon last week...not my typical book of study, but it was perfect for what I was going through! I felt like I had taken this big step to go to Patmos (and like I mentioned earlier) started freaking out. I was confused and didn't know if I had made the right decision- I was reluctant to tell some people because it felt like it wasn't really going to happen. Looking back, it was a whole bunch of the Devil clouding up my vision and causing me to doubt God's ability. So, basically, I felt like I was just wandering around, in what I like to call "the funk." You know those times when God seems so far away, but you know for a fact that He's right there? You know those times when you try your very hardest to pray and study the Bible, but it's just not "happening"? That's where I was. I was doing everything I thought was right, but something was missing. Sounds a lot like the Israelites, now doesn't it?
Deuteronomy 8:2-5
2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
As soon as the pastor read this, I went "That's why!" That's why I'm feeling this way. God hasn't abandoned me- He's LED ME IN THE DESERT. HE LED ME THERE! God wanted to see how I would survive on the bare minimum- no warm, fuzzy feelings during worship time- no scenes with His overwhelming presence. How will she react when it seems like everything she "needs" is gone...except for Me? I think a lot of times we get so fixated on the "perfect worship set" or the lighting effects or the pastor who uses crazy illustrations or the people who go to church with us. We forget that it has nothing to do with us or the people around us. Forget all that junk- I just want Jesus! I realized that no matter how put together everything is around me, it all felt like chaos without my eyes fixed in the right place. I remember saying, "God, you feel so far away!" And, then I thought- my relationship with Christ shouldn't be based on feelings, but on truth. Feelings come and go- blaze and wane- but, truth...that's here to stay! Clinging to the truth of God's promises and holding fast to His Word is what gets us though the desert.
3 He humbled you...
He also humbled me. That's for sure. You know those times when you think, "Finally! I'm doing something right- yes!" Well, God likes to remind us real quick that it's not us doing the good, but Him. As soon as I tried with my strength, I once again realized that I was incapable. I bet God's up there going, "I wonder just how many times we'll have to go over this with her." Praise the Lord for His loving patience with this kid : )
...causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.
To say that He caused me to hunger might be an understatement! I had been on this spiritual high for a few weeks and was so used to everything going my way. I bet most of you know this- it's no secret: it's so much easier to praise God when everything is good and dandy than when the going gets tough. Isn't it? So, God did prepare me for the wilderness. He showed me time and time again answered prayers, open doors for opportunities, and friendships that propelled me further into His arms. But when all the cushion around your relationship with Christ is no longer there, how do you react? For me, it was a whole lotta drama queen and not a lot of clinging to the Word. But, that's what the wilderness is for. To teach us, to humble us, to remind us that He is all we need.
And, I don't know if you caught verse 4, but the Israelites wandered for FORTY YEARS with clothes that didn't wear out, with feet that didn't swell. In the desert. That's just amazing. So God. He tests us, but He doesn't stop caring for us. He supernaturally provides for our wilderness experiences, no matter how long they might drag on.
So, a spiritual battle was alive in my heart, and I remember saying on Wednesday afternoon (before Eikon), "Okay, I give up. I'm defeated. I'm sick and tired of trying." Christian- don't ever say that! I might as well have said, "Devil, you win. You are victorious over Christ." Ouch- how that must have broken my Savior' heart! Jesus died so that I wouldn't be defeated, yet there I was declaring my defeat. The same lips that sing "Your Grace is Enough" and "Mighty to Save" were saying, "God, you can't do it." It's seriously like an arrow to the heart when I remember my attitude then, but praise God for new mercies and faithfulness each morning!
5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
After hearing this message on Wednesday, I was reminded of purpose in the wild. God didn't lead me there to punish or to torture me, but to refine me and develop my character. He's a God of love, a God whose discipline we should enjoy because it ultimately makes us more like Him. Too bad I was busy throwing a temper tantrum (boy, do I have a lot of growing up to do!).
But, all in all, lesson learned. Thank You, Dad, for seeing the big picture, even if I seem miserable and disappointed in the process! His wisdom never ceases to amaze me, especially when I look back and see His hand guiding me.
So, one last little tid bit...you should read the next part in Deuteronomy 8, especially if you're "in the wild" right now.
6 Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. 7 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.
With great obedience comes great reward. God doesn't ignore your hard work. When I read this passage, the word that keeps coming to mind is "lush." God is doing all this to bring us to a lush land, to a promised place where our needs are met and our expectations are widly exceeded!
My wilderness period didn't last for forty years, because God knew I wouldn't survive. Each and every day, He's using life's situations and trials to develop my character and reveal His character to me. There's no doubt, I'll have more wilderness experiences to come, but I should be better prepared. For now, I've arrived at the last verse. Praising the Lord for the good He has given me. May I never forget it. Ever.
You are probably not going to believe this when I tell you, but God has raised $3,850 already! To think that all the details of my trip are coming together in less than 27 days still blows me away. It's funny when I reflect on the day I got my acceptance letter. They emphasized in the letter to make quick preparations, because the trip begins in 27 days. For the next few days, that's all I focused on- 27 days, 27 days, 27 days! I got so stinkin' stressed out and anxious that I was a nervous wreck. Then I started focusing on God. That's when everything began to fall together. Have you ever heard that quote "Don't focus on the size of your waves, focus on the size of your God."? I love that! It's so true. When you realize just how big and awesome and powerful God is, the circumstances in your life certainly start to shrink in both size and intensity. Soon, those stressful situations get turned into adventures where you get to see God move in ways you could have never imagined. That's what's been happening to me. Now, I think it's kind of fun when something seems impossible to do. Then, I wait in anticipation and say, "Okay, God, I can't wait to see how you're gonna pull this one off!" He sure is a lot more creative than I : ) This isn't to say I don't still have my moments of doubt- that strikes us all- I just think God has taught me a lot over these past few weeks about resting in His perfect provision and timing.
We studied Deuteronomy 8 at Eikon last week...not my typical book of study, but it was perfect for what I was going through! I felt like I had taken this big step to go to Patmos (and like I mentioned earlier) started freaking out. I was confused and didn't know if I had made the right decision- I was reluctant to tell some people because it felt like it wasn't really going to happen. Looking back, it was a whole bunch of the Devil clouding up my vision and causing me to doubt God's ability. So, basically, I felt like I was just wandering around, in what I like to call "the funk." You know those times when God seems so far away, but you know for a fact that He's right there? You know those times when you try your very hardest to pray and study the Bible, but it's just not "happening"? That's where I was. I was doing everything I thought was right, but something was missing. Sounds a lot like the Israelites, now doesn't it?
Deuteronomy 8:2-5
2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
As soon as the pastor read this, I went "That's why!" That's why I'm feeling this way. God hasn't abandoned me- He's LED ME IN THE DESERT. HE LED ME THERE! God wanted to see how I would survive on the bare minimum- no warm, fuzzy feelings during worship time- no scenes with His overwhelming presence. How will she react when it seems like everything she "needs" is gone...except for Me? I think a lot of times we get so fixated on the "perfect worship set" or the lighting effects or the pastor who uses crazy illustrations or the people who go to church with us. We forget that it has nothing to do with us or the people around us. Forget all that junk- I just want Jesus! I realized that no matter how put together everything is around me, it all felt like chaos without my eyes fixed in the right place. I remember saying, "God, you feel so far away!" And, then I thought- my relationship with Christ shouldn't be based on feelings, but on truth. Feelings come and go- blaze and wane- but, truth...that's here to stay! Clinging to the truth of God's promises and holding fast to His Word is what gets us though the desert.
3 He humbled you...
He also humbled me. That's for sure. You know those times when you think, "Finally! I'm doing something right- yes!" Well, God likes to remind us real quick that it's not us doing the good, but Him. As soon as I tried with my strength, I once again realized that I was incapable. I bet God's up there going, "I wonder just how many times we'll have to go over this with her." Praise the Lord for His loving patience with this kid : )
...causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.
To say that He caused me to hunger might be an understatement! I had been on this spiritual high for a few weeks and was so used to everything going my way. I bet most of you know this- it's no secret: it's so much easier to praise God when everything is good and dandy than when the going gets tough. Isn't it? So, God did prepare me for the wilderness. He showed me time and time again answered prayers, open doors for opportunities, and friendships that propelled me further into His arms. But when all the cushion around your relationship with Christ is no longer there, how do you react? For me, it was a whole lotta drama queen and not a lot of clinging to the Word. But, that's what the wilderness is for. To teach us, to humble us, to remind us that He is all we need.
And, I don't know if you caught verse 4, but the Israelites wandered for FORTY YEARS with clothes that didn't wear out, with feet that didn't swell. In the desert. That's just amazing. So God. He tests us, but He doesn't stop caring for us. He supernaturally provides for our wilderness experiences, no matter how long they might drag on.
So, a spiritual battle was alive in my heart, and I remember saying on Wednesday afternoon (before Eikon), "Okay, I give up. I'm defeated. I'm sick and tired of trying." Christian- don't ever say that! I might as well have said, "Devil, you win. You are victorious over Christ." Ouch- how that must have broken my Savior' heart! Jesus died so that I wouldn't be defeated, yet there I was declaring my defeat. The same lips that sing "Your Grace is Enough" and "Mighty to Save" were saying, "God, you can't do it." It's seriously like an arrow to the heart when I remember my attitude then, but praise God for new mercies and faithfulness each morning!
5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
After hearing this message on Wednesday, I was reminded of purpose in the wild. God didn't lead me there to punish or to torture me, but to refine me and develop my character. He's a God of love, a God whose discipline we should enjoy because it ultimately makes us more like Him. Too bad I was busy throwing a temper tantrum (boy, do I have a lot of growing up to do!).
But, all in all, lesson learned. Thank You, Dad, for seeing the big picture, even if I seem miserable and disappointed in the process! His wisdom never ceases to amaze me, especially when I look back and see His hand guiding me.
So, one last little tid bit...you should read the next part in Deuteronomy 8, especially if you're "in the wild" right now.
6 Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. 7 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.
With great obedience comes great reward. God doesn't ignore your hard work. When I read this passage, the word that keeps coming to mind is "lush." God is doing all this to bring us to a lush land, to a promised place where our needs are met and our expectations are widly exceeded!
My wilderness period didn't last for forty years, because God knew I wouldn't survive. Each and every day, He's using life's situations and trials to develop my character and reveal His character to me. There's no doubt, I'll have more wilderness experiences to come, but I should be better prepared. For now, I've arrived at the last verse. Praising the Lord for the good He has given me. May I never forget it. Ever.
Apr 30, 2010
Jehovah Jireh
To say that I'm grateful or thankful or overwhelmed or blow away by everyone's support doesn't even convey how I'm feeling right now. Words can't describe how unbelievably blessed I'm feeling by all the prayers and financial support. God is working in ways I never thought possible. Oh, me of little faith!
As of now, 1/3 of my trip is paid for! I received a call from Mr. Keith Thursday night saying that the youth group (at First Baptist Church of Lake Placid) is committed to raising $2,000 in support. I didn't quite know what to say besides, "Are you serious?" and "That's so awesome!!" Goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day : )
Wanna hear another cool story of God's provision? I had an appointment at 12:30 with the Passport Agency in Miami today. My passport has to be expedited in order to allow time to apply for my visa. After the one hour drive to downtown Miami and 10 minute drive around the parking garage (8th level parking- success lol), I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I went inside to check in, thinking this would take an hour at the most. I was wrong. There was an entire room, well, more like two rooms, filled with people who all had appointments and were waiting. (Just wondering Passport Agency...why make appointments when they don't really matter?)
Anyways, I went up to the window to check in. "Can I see your passport application, primary form of identification, secondary form of identification, two passport photos, and travel itinerary?" Whoa- talk about information overload. I began pulling documents out of my folder and handed them to the receptionist. Then, I opened my purse to get my driver's license only to discover I left it in the copier from the night before (they require copies of all this stuff, too!). Smart one, Chelsea. I was horrified. I think my face lost its color. I had just wrestled lunch hour traffic and checked for everything before I left, except for my license, of course! She said, "Since you have your previous passport, you might be able to use this as photo I.D., but it might not work because it is a minor passport. You will just have to wait and see who you get. The wait is two hours" My head starts spinning. Roommate gone on trip to NY. Other friends can't get into room without key. No time to drive back and forth because they shut the office doors at three and appointments can't be held. I decided to wait it out.
Immediately, I began praying- "God, I trust that You have everything under control and You work all things together for the good of those who are called according to your purpose. You do have a purpose for me at Patmos. Thank You for being the God who provides. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. Whom then shall I fear?" Right after that, I texted my prayer warriors for some serious interceding! If I didn't get the passport today, it would throw off my chance of getting the visa in time for the trip, which meant no Patmos this summer!
The two hour wait turned into two and a half. By the end of my time in that hard plastic chair, I had decided the government should invest in a cheerier paint color for their Passport Agency office. The gray was killing any hint of happy, especially with the security officers. Finally...NUMBER 126!!!! My heart kind of raced before I got to the window. I was walking and praying, walking and praying. I handed over my packet of documents and photos. She asked to see my Driver's License (of course), and I explained what I had done. "Well, do you have your social security card?" No 'mam. That's at my house in Lake Placid. "Where is Lake Placid?" lol...yeah I get that a lot. Needless to say, she ended up using a birth certificate and my minor passport and the copy of my driver's license ("I can make this work," she said). 5 minutes later, I was out of that drab gray office, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. Misison accomplished- God, You rock!
It was just one more opportunity for God to prove that He doesn't need little 'ole me to work out the details. Thank goodness, because I would fail miserably! Jehovah Jireh..."The Lord will provide." (Genesis 22:14). His provision isn't conditional upon my actions. He provides because He loves and because He can. I have a feeling that the Passport Agency won't be my only Jehovah Jireh on this adventure.
As of now, 1/3 of my trip is paid for! I received a call from Mr. Keith Thursday night saying that the youth group (at First Baptist Church of Lake Placid) is committed to raising $2,000 in support. I didn't quite know what to say besides, "Are you serious?" and "That's so awesome!!" Goofy grin on my face for the rest of the day : )
Wanna hear another cool story of God's provision? I had an appointment at 12:30 with the Passport Agency in Miami today. My passport has to be expedited in order to allow time to apply for my visa. After the one hour drive to downtown Miami and 10 minute drive around the parking garage (8th level parking- success lol), I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment. I went inside to check in, thinking this would take an hour at the most. I was wrong. There was an entire room, well, more like two rooms, filled with people who all had appointments and were waiting. (Just wondering Passport Agency...why make appointments when they don't really matter?)
Anyways, I went up to the window to check in. "Can I see your passport application, primary form of identification, secondary form of identification, two passport photos, and travel itinerary?" Whoa- talk about information overload. I began pulling documents out of my folder and handed them to the receptionist. Then, I opened my purse to get my driver's license only to discover I left it in the copier from the night before (they require copies of all this stuff, too!). Smart one, Chelsea. I was horrified. I think my face lost its color. I had just wrestled lunch hour traffic and checked for everything before I left, except for my license, of course! She said, "Since you have your previous passport, you might be able to use this as photo I.D., but it might not work because it is a minor passport. You will just have to wait and see who you get. The wait is two hours" My head starts spinning. Roommate gone on trip to NY. Other friends can't get into room without key. No time to drive back and forth because they shut the office doors at three and appointments can't be held. I decided to wait it out.
Immediately, I began praying- "God, I trust that You have everything under control and You work all things together for the good of those who are called according to your purpose. You do have a purpose for me at Patmos. Thank You for being the God who provides. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. Whom then shall I fear?" Right after that, I texted my prayer warriors for some serious interceding! If I didn't get the passport today, it would throw off my chance of getting the visa in time for the trip, which meant no Patmos this summer!
The two hour wait turned into two and a half. By the end of my time in that hard plastic chair, I had decided the government should invest in a cheerier paint color for their Passport Agency office. The gray was killing any hint of happy, especially with the security officers. Finally...NUMBER 126!!!! My heart kind of raced before I got to the window. I was walking and praying, walking and praying. I handed over my packet of documents and photos. She asked to see my Driver's License (of course), and I explained what I had done. "Well, do you have your social security card?" No 'mam. That's at my house in Lake Placid. "Where is Lake Placid?" lol...yeah I get that a lot. Needless to say, she ended up using a birth certificate and my minor passport and the copy of my driver's license ("I can make this work," she said). 5 minutes later, I was out of that drab gray office, smiling like a kid in a candy shop. Misison accomplished- God, You rock!
It was just one more opportunity for God to prove that He doesn't need little 'ole me to work out the details. Thank goodness, because I would fail miserably! Jehovah Jireh..."The Lord will provide." (Genesis 22:14). His provision isn't conditional upon my actions. He provides because He loves and because He can. I have a feeling that the Passport Agency won't be my only Jehovah Jireh on this adventure.
Apr 28, 2010
Calling All Prayer Warriors!
Okay! I was supposed to post this yesterday, but time escaped. There is just so much to do before I leave. I've definitely been praying that God will multiply my hours and streamline all these processes : ) I appreciate so much all of your prayers as I prepare for this adventure. I cannot say this enough!
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
Many of you have offered to pray throughout my term in Brazil, which makes me excited, for "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) When we pray, God moves...and I can't wait to see how He will! I need at least thirty prayer warriors to commit one day of the week to pray for a specific need. For example, John offers to pray for "surrender" on Mondays.
There are a few needs I feel God has laid on my heart, but if He is leading you to pray in another way, feel free. Here's what I have so far:
- Surrender
- Endurance
- Safety
- Peace
Apr 25, 2010
Here I Go. Patmos 2010.
"Congratulations! You have been accepted into the Summer 2010 3-month term of Patmos: Reality Discipleship in Campo Mourao, Brazil." It went on to remind me that PATMOS BRAZIL STARTS IN 27 DAYS!!! AHHHHHH!
Part of me leaps with excitement, and the other part shrinks back with nervousness and anxiety about what is to come. I know that I will leave as one person and come back as someone completely different. To tell you that I am completely at ease would be a lie. I will be leaving my friends and family for three months with people I don't know in a country I've never visited. But one thing is for sure: "The Lord works all things together for the good of those who love Him," and He has plans "to prosper, not to harm."
In Patmos terms, I will be "challenged for the purpose of change." I will be pushed beyond my own human limitations to discover what it really means to depend fully upon the saving grace of God. I will be stretched and poured out. I will decrease so that He will increase. And I will learn what it means to "be crucified with Christ."
All for the glory of God. My life is not my own. Just like the video I posted yesterday said, "It's not what you can get from God, but what God can get from you." This summer, I'm laying it all down to see what God can do with me.
But, I can't do it alone. I need all the support I can get. Starting today, please partner with me in prayer as I prepare to tithe this season of my life. Pray that passport and visa documentation will go through without any issues. Pray that God begins to break down barriers in my heart that keep me anxious. Pray for peace in the midst of this chaotic preparation (26 days!). Pray that all the doctor's visits, paperwork, and plane arrangements pan out the way they're supposed to.
Pray that God provides over $6,000 financially that I will need for this experience. I am confident in Christ that He will accomplish above and beyond what we can ask, think, or imagine. In my mind, $6,000 is a lot of money that I don't have, but hello- I serve the King of the Universe! I think He can manage a measly $6,000. I'm counting the financial aspect as just one more challenge in trusting God. Oh, and did I mention that He holds time in His hands? Beginning and the end? I'm thinking He's more than capable. It's just about me being calm and resting in His perfect peace in the process.
I will keep you all updated as things progress. In the meantime, pray, pray, pray and please share this link with anyone interested in supporting me.
If you want, you can leave a comment letting me know what you're praying for. Two weeks before I leave, I have to turn in a prayer support sheet, listing people committed to praying for me on a specific day of the week for a very specific need. I'll post about that tomorrow once I have time to set up a sheet.
For more info about Patmos, check out http://www.realitydiscipleship.org/ : )
Let the crazy adventure begin!
Apr 24, 2010
What's God Getting Out of You?
Another one that you simply have to watch! This site is full of inspiring messages of revival.
It's Not Okay.
It's time for revival. The church is dead. The American church is dying in its own buildings without even knowing it.
Yet, there are some who see the sad reality. Christians are going through the motions, living comfortable lives of sin, thinking that everything is ok. IT'S NOT OKAY! Mediocre is not okay. Lukewarm is not okay. Compromise does not cut it.
What happened to black and white? Right and wrong? What happened to following the Bible instead of "interpretations" of the Bible that we select as our favorite because they justify sinful actions? What happened to living as Christ demands?
My heart is broken and torn up today. This past week, I have come to realize the state of modern church. I'm sick of political correctness, and making people "feel good." That's not what it's about.
The reality is that there is a heaven and there is a hell. And everyone here on earth is destined to one of those places. If it's not heaven, it's hell. And, we walk around with the audacity to think that it's okay to live in sin and keep the Gospel to ourselves. One more time...IT'S NOT OKAY.
Only a few months ago, I was living in this mediocre, lukewarm existence. The worst part about being lukewarm is that you don't know it. Billy (Eikon pastor) talked about this on Wednesday. In Revelation 3, Christ tells the Laodicean church, "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were on or the other!" One or the other? Why would Christ want someone to be cold? Because at least they know they're cold! They know something needs to be done. If you're hot, you know you're hot. But if you're lukewarm, you think everything's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Christ demands radical obedience to His message. Yes, we are all sinners, but we can't keep using that as a crutch. With Christ comes victory over sin. With prayer comes a shield of protection. Christians aren't supposed to look the same as the world, with a little of God's grace sprinkled on us. Just because we're forgiven doesn't mean we have permission to do whatever we want. Our lives are not our own. Our bodies are not our own. Our dreams are not ours. Do you see the pattern here? It's not about us, but everything in today's church tells us that it is.
We've gotta get past us. That's where Satan has us trapped. If our Christianity revolves around us, we never get anywhere because yeah- we will always have problems. We can't wait until the conditions are "perfect" before we decide to help someone out. Christ went out of His way to help others when His conditions were the worst. He ministered on the cross!!! Why, then, are we caught up in (insert sin here) when Christ has given us authority and power to overcome such sin and focus on others?
If we push past ourselves, that's when we experience Christ, because it was never about us in the first place. Christ didn't die so that we could hear the Gospel, be saved, and feel comfortable in lives of mediocrity. Christ died so that our lives would be so radically transformed that the world wouldn't recognize them as normal. They would see something completely different and passionate and intriguing that would make them wonder why in the world we would act so absurd.
The church needs revival. The world needs God. And I need to get off my butt and do something about it.
"14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 18 Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” 19 You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.[a] Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 20 How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?"
I think what we have is an entire generation that has been fooled into believing that the sinner's prayer is good enough. Believing that God saves and that Jesus died for you isn't good enough. Our lives must reflect the fact that we have come into contact with that reality.
As a result of this false doctrine, we have a world full of people who believe that they are okay. Faith without works is dead. I have a classroom full of peers who raised their hands and said they were "Christians" (while their language alone is enough to have Paul roll over in his grave). Faith without works is dead.
Being lukewarm is much worse than being either hot or cold. My heart is burdened for the lukewarm of the world. I was one of them. I was content in false Christianity, believing that it was okay to do whatever I wanted. That's not following Jesus.
Praise God He saved me from that state, from that trickery of the Devil! But I cannot be content with just getting over it. God saved me for a reason. I have to reach others with this message, not with a "high and mighty" I'm-better-than-you-and-can't-relate-to-how-you're-living attitude. No! It has to come from a heart that says- yeah, I was right where you were. And it's not a safe place to be. We don't know how much time we have left. Today is the day for change. No more mediocrity. No more fake Christians. It's unacceptable. The church is doing society a dishonor by turning its head and ignoring this state of existence, even accepting this state of existence. It needs to be called out. We cannot stay silent and pretend it's okay. People are dying and going to hell. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Yet, there are some who see the sad reality. Christians are going through the motions, living comfortable lives of sin, thinking that everything is ok. IT'S NOT OKAY! Mediocre is not okay. Lukewarm is not okay. Compromise does not cut it.
What happened to black and white? Right and wrong? What happened to following the Bible instead of "interpretations" of the Bible that we select as our favorite because they justify sinful actions? What happened to living as Christ demands?
My heart is broken and torn up today. This past week, I have come to realize the state of modern church. I'm sick of political correctness, and making people "feel good." That's not what it's about.
The reality is that there is a heaven and there is a hell. And everyone here on earth is destined to one of those places. If it's not heaven, it's hell. And, we walk around with the audacity to think that it's okay to live in sin and keep the Gospel to ourselves. One more time...IT'S NOT OKAY.
Only a few months ago, I was living in this mediocre, lukewarm existence. The worst part about being lukewarm is that you don't know it. Billy (Eikon pastor) talked about this on Wednesday. In Revelation 3, Christ tells the Laodicean church, "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were on or the other!" One or the other? Why would Christ want someone to be cold? Because at least they know they're cold! They know something needs to be done. If you're hot, you know you're hot. But if you're lukewarm, you think everything's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Christ demands radical obedience to His message. Yes, we are all sinners, but we can't keep using that as a crutch. With Christ comes victory over sin. With prayer comes a shield of protection. Christians aren't supposed to look the same as the world, with a little of God's grace sprinkled on us. Just because we're forgiven doesn't mean we have permission to do whatever we want. Our lives are not our own. Our bodies are not our own. Our dreams are not ours. Do you see the pattern here? It's not about us, but everything in today's church tells us that it is.
We've gotta get past us. That's where Satan has us trapped. If our Christianity revolves around us, we never get anywhere because yeah- we will always have problems. We can't wait until the conditions are "perfect" before we decide to help someone out. Christ went out of His way to help others when His conditions were the worst. He ministered on the cross!!! Why, then, are we caught up in (insert sin here) when Christ has given us authority and power to overcome such sin and focus on others?
If we push past ourselves, that's when we experience Christ, because it was never about us in the first place. Christ didn't die so that we could hear the Gospel, be saved, and feel comfortable in lives of mediocrity. Christ died so that our lives would be so radically transformed that the world wouldn't recognize them as normal. They would see something completely different and passionate and intriguing that would make them wonder why in the world we would act so absurd.
The church needs revival. The world needs God. And I need to get off my butt and do something about it.
"14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. 18 Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” 19 You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.[a] Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. 20 How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?"
I think what we have is an entire generation that has been fooled into believing that the sinner's prayer is good enough. Believing that God saves and that Jesus died for you isn't good enough. Our lives must reflect the fact that we have come into contact with that reality.
As a result of this false doctrine, we have a world full of people who believe that they are okay. Faith without works is dead. I have a classroom full of peers who raised their hands and said they were "Christians" (while their language alone is enough to have Paul roll over in his grave). Faith without works is dead.
Being lukewarm is much worse than being either hot or cold. My heart is burdened for the lukewarm of the world. I was one of them. I was content in false Christianity, believing that it was okay to do whatever I wanted. That's not following Jesus.
Praise God He saved me from that state, from that trickery of the Devil! But I cannot be content with just getting over it. God saved me for a reason. I have to reach others with this message, not with a "high and mighty" I'm-better-than-you-and-can't-relate-to-how-you're-living attitude. No! It has to come from a heart that says- yeah, I was right where you were. And it's not a safe place to be. We don't know how much time we have left. Today is the day for change. No more mediocrity. No more fake Christians. It's unacceptable. The church is doing society a dishonor by turning its head and ignoring this state of existence, even accepting this state of existence. It needs to be called out. We cannot stay silent and pretend it's okay. People are dying and going to hell. IT'S NOT OKAY.
Apr 20, 2010
Apr 18, 2010
Inquiring Mind
Have you ever felt that God was telling you something, but in your mind, you questioned if it was really Him? Or...have you ever felt God leading you to do something, but it seems crazy and scary and impossible in a short amount of time?
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
That's where I'm at.
I want to trust and have faith, but my inquiring mind never rests. I analyze too much without just taking the step of faith He is calling me to (or I think He is calling me to). What happens when you have to make a decision and all options are areas where He can be glorified? Does He have a specific answer as to which avenue to take, or is it up to us?
Talking with many Christian brothers and sisters has reminded me that He will open and close doors as He sees fit. He has opened a door, and I'm going to take it. I'm not sure if this avenue will be a short trip and simple test of faith or it will turn into something bigger. Please keep me in your prayers for clarity and understanding as I journey down this unexpected avenue. I don't want to get into details, but I know God will direct you to pray for me as needed.
Apr 16, 2010
Eikon Podcast
All That I Am
The more and more I get into God's Word, the more I realize just how weak I am and how much I need Him. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. I talked about this in one of my posts a few weeks ago. I had been striving to meet the "standards," to be "good enough" for God. What a relief it has been to embrace His unconditional love once again! It is so refreshing and rejuvinating once you realize that God doesn't love you any more or any less if you spend ten minutes in prayer or thirty. That's why I love Psalm 103. Praise, praise, praise. Who else can love like He loves?
Verse 14 has been on my mind since Good Friday, and it has dramatically changed my thinking. "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." After reading that Psalm, you're probably thinking....okay, that wouldn't have been my pick, but let me explain.
I'M DUST! I'm a big lump of dust! God knows that. Sometimes I try to puff myself up and act like I'm more than that. I'M DUST! I'm weak, and on my own, absolutely worthless. I'm just a shell here on earth. But, but....when Christ lives in me. Wow. Now that is something worth looking at. When Christ lives in me and in You, people notice. He disciplines me and corrects me and changes me, but "he remembers we are only dust." When I fall short of God's glory, He isn't suprised. He knows that I will. What matters is the motivation of my heart. Is my whole heart seeking after God?
I used to think that in order to seek fully after God, you had to be a devoted Christian who studied the Bible six hours a day and evangelized at least two (okay, maybe these numbers weren't always the same, but you get the idea). The amazing thing about Christ is that He is everywhere- in the car, in my class, at the office. God doesn't speak to me just from the Bible, and He doesn't use me to speak to others only when I set aside two hours. Day in and day out, He purposes each and every move.
Have you ever stopped to think about that? I was walking home from the gym tonight, and I thought to myself....God knew exactly what time I would go to the gym tonight. He knew how long I would run, when I would get tired, and when I would begin gasping for air (haha- just kidding). The crazy thing is He actually knew that not only for me, but for each and every person around me. And He knew that I would be sitting here, on April 16, writing about Him. And He knew that you would be reading this right now. Crazy, isn't it?
Okay- back to the seeking fully after God idea (sorry for my tinge of ADD kicking in ; ). I used to think in order to seek fully after God, you had to be chained to a desk praying and reading the Bible. After your hours of study and prayer, you could then go boldly proclaim to others the Good News. Only people in full time ministry can really serve God, or that's what I thought. Well, God's been using me in ways I never thought possible. Whether it's conversations at work, or with people in line at Chick N' Grill. Every movement He purposes for a reason. And the great thing about it all is that when your heart and mind are fully focused on Christ, you can be doing whatever it is you need to be doing and still glorify Him. There's always what Tozer calls that "secret communion," that goes on between you and God. If you love someone, they're always on your mind. You can't wait to spend time with them and share with them what's been going on in your life, and you look forward to hearing about their life.
I now approach prayer not as a burden, but as a delight. When I miss my morning time alone with God, I normally say, "Man, God, I missed you this morning. Sorry about that." I look forward to telling Him my deepest longings, my heart's desires, and my dreams. Even more so, I love to hear Him. I absolutely love hearing God's voice. He never disappoints, never discourages. His voice is always full of love and compassion. So back to Psalm 103. I can't say it enough. "Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
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